What is the difference between a grocer who uses false weights and a highwayman?
The tradesman lies in weight, while the highwayman lies in wait.
I saw Romeo and Juliet in a restaurant last night. Juliet ordered some soft-shelled crabs and Romeo ordered a cup of tea. Now, the question arises, does Rome-o for what Juli-et?
You know my girl? Her name is Plaster. I go to court Plaster every night. She is a poor girl, but there are lots of other girls as por-ous Plaster. I took her out riding the other day, when the horse ran away and threw her out and broke her leg in four places, and her arm in three places. I got some sticking plaster and put on her leg and arm, and then carried her home. Next morning she wouldn’t speak to me.
Why not?
She was too stuck up.