I dared to go up on Broadway to-day and a team ran over me. Just as I was getting up, the driver shouted: “Look out!”

And what did you say?

I said: “Are you coming back?”


I went to church last Sunday and lost my umbrella. I got up in the congregation and said if I didn’t get my umbrella I would come here next Sunday and mention the party’s name that had it. Next morning when I woke up, my back yard was full of umbrellas.


If your stomach continues to trouble you, you will have to diet.

What color do you prefer?