Husband—Why are you so angry at the doctor?
Wife—When I told him I had a terrible tired feeling, he told me to show him my tongue.
In a prison scene, a man is supposed to be shot while filing the bars of his cell in an effort to escape. The pistol failed to explode and the prisoner finally dropped as though dead. The guard, whose pistol refused to work, gazed at him in astonishment for a second, then with great presence of mind, he raised both hands and exclaimed in a tone of horror: “My God! He’s swallowed the file!”
Show me a man who likes to be interrupted in the middle of a sentence.
All right. Come along with me to the nearest prison.
“Poor Swickles thoroughly enjoyed life.”
“Yes, he enjoyed it so much that people are getting up a fund for his widow and children.”