“I saw a couple of blue jays on Broadway, yesterday.”
“Yes. In a millinery store?”
“No, alive. They were jays from the country and they were blue with cold.”
Tourist—“Pretty dull around here.”
Rube—“Jest now ’tis. Yew wait a couple of months and see how this place’ll be stirred up.”
Tourist—“What’s going to happen?”
Rube—“Ploughin’.”
“I went into Macy’s last summer to get my wife a shirt-waist. She wanted something extremely thin. So I said to the floor-walker, ‘Will you show me the thinnest thing you’ve got in a shirt-waist?’”