The Unfolding Life / A Study of Development with Reference to Religious Training

by Antoinette Abernethy Lamoreaux

There is a sense of pressure and nervous excitement throughout the whole life, for the "invoice of energy" is not exhausted. Athletics afford physical relief, and slang, which is at its height from about thirteen to fifteen, offers somewhat of an emotional safety-valve. Experiences are never commonplace during this period, nor any individual ordinary. The strongest superlatives and most extravagant metaphors will scarcely do a situation adequate justice, but nurture can afford to be patient, for "this, too, will pass," and of itself, as life grows calmer.

The feverish excitement is not at all to the distaste of the adolescent but, on the contrary, he courts it. The "reading craze" is at its height in this period, and books which give "thrills" are sought by both boys and girls. There is increasing necessity of wise oversight in the choice of reading when the mind is so inflammable and easily led, and the fact that a book is on the shelf of the Sunday School library is unhappily not always a guarantee against the need of further parental inspection.

The abounding energy of this period, when brought into conjunction with the enlarged vision of life, often gives rise to a restlessness and desire, to leave school and go to work. This is augmented by the new money sense, which is strong about the age of fourteen, and leads to an effort to secure money to save as well as to spend. This desire ought to be met by a regular allowance or an opportunity for earning a stipulated sum. Its neglect is often the explanation for the breaking open of Sunday School banks or theft from household funds.

But even the satisfying of this desire will not allay restlessness, and many a school-room seat becomes vacant in the early teens. If, instead of the harsh measures so often used, the boy could know he had not only the loving sympathy but also the pride of his parents in this harbinger of approaching manhood; if, in place of force, he were given choice, after all the considerations had been carefully weighed; if he could feel the confidence of father and mother that he would do the manly thing because he is almost a man, he would rarely fail to meet the issue, for "at no time in life will a human being respond so heartily if treated by older and wise people as if he were an equal." The result will be not only renewed zest in the erstwhile hated task, but a new bond between parents and son that will help to hold him true when greater crises come.

The strong appeal that sympathy and consideration now make to the adolescent is due to the new consciousness of self that has come to the life. It has many manifestations. There is a welcome external one that is evident in care for the personal appearance. The days of maternal solicitude for linen and ears come to an end in this period, and it is well, for the new standard of correctness is so high as to be unattainable by any one save the individual himself.

A new sense of pride in one's family and position appears, and an aristocracy based on the accidents of birth succeeds the democracy of childhood. The girl who was sincerely thankful that she was not as others and assumed Pharisaic superiority because she had been born a Republican, an Allopath and, crown of all, a Baptist, lived in this period some years ago.

This consciousness of self and of approaching manhood and womanhood tends to make the life independent, and "any attempt to treat a child at Adolescence as an inferior is instantly fatal to good discipline." In this super-sensitive state, a public reproof, even in the home circle, carries with it humiliation beyond expression, and inevitably arouses resentment and not penitence. "At no time in life does a word of encouragement mean so much, or criticism leave such an ineffaceable scar." If those who touch a life through its unfolding only realized that what they sow of gentleness and consideration or of harshness and neglect when that life is defenceless and they are strong will be reaped when they in turn are without recourse and the child has become a man, would there not be more tenderness and love in some homes? "For with the same measure that ye mete, withal, it shall be measured to you again."

Another condition of great import to nurture appears in the increasing power of the social feelings over the life. Society begins to fascinate, and the problem of a High School education is complicated with the problem of secret societies and school dances. Friends are chosen not so much for real worth as for clothes, position, attractive features or, where there is no interchange of confidences between parents and children, for sympathetic understanding. The longing for companionship is God given and must be fostered, else the youth will enter maturity a recluse and self-occupied, but nurture must carefully deal with it while life is in a state of flux. The only course to be at all considered is a substitutive, not prohibitory one, giving opportunity for social intercourse under proper conditions.

The development of the affectional side of the life during this period must be briefly noted.

Hero love and worship are more passionate than before. The object of admiration is usually some one outside of the home, often a favorite teacher who understands the heart of a boy and a girl. The patterning of the life after its ideal is most seriously undertaken, even to imitation of personal mannerisms. The privilege and responsibility of being the lode star of an unresisting, unpoised life is tremendous, for this influence overpowers all others at the time.