VISITING.
Next in order to the ceremonials of dinner or evening parties, are customary calls, comprised under the general head of visiting. They are those of ceremony, friendship, or condolence, and occupy no small portion of time.
Such visits are necessary, in order to maintain good feeling between the members of society; they are required by the custom of the age in which we live, and must be carefully attended to.
First, then, are visits of ceremony, merging occasionally into those of friendship, but uniformly required after dining at a friend's house. Professional men are not however, in general, expected to pay such visits, because their time is preoccupied; but they form almost the only exception.
Visits of ceremony must be necessarily short. They should on no account be made before the hour, nor yet during the time of luncheon. Persons who intrude themselves at unwonted hours are never welcome; the lady of the house does not like to be disturbed when she is perhaps dining with her children; and the servants justly complain of being interrupted at the hour when they assemble for their noon-day meal. Ascertain, therefore, which you can readily do, what is the family hour for luncheon, and act accordingly.
Half an hour amply suffices for a visit of ceremony. If the visitor be a lady, she may remove her victorine, but on no account either the shawl or bonnet, even if politely requested to do so by the mistress of the house. Some trouble is necessarily required in replacing them, and this ought to be avoided. If, however, your visit of ceremony is to a particular friend, the case is different; but even then, it is best to wait till you are invited to do so; and when you rise for the purpose the lady of the house will assist you.
Favorite dogs are never welcome visitors in a drawing-room. Many people have even a dislike to such animals. They require watching, lest they should leap upon a chair or sofa, or place themselves upon a lady's dress, and attentions of this kind are much out of place. Neither ought a mother, when paying a ceremonial visit, to be accompanied by young children. It is frequently difficult to amuse them, and, if not particularly well trained at home, they naturally seize hold of books, or those ornaments with which it is fashionable to decorate a drawing-room. The lady of the house trembles for the fate of a beautiful shell, or vase, or costly book. She does not like to express her uneasiness, and yet knows not how to refrain. Therefore leave the children at home; or, if they accompany you in the carriage, let them remain till your visit is over. If you have an infant, the nurse may await your return, or be left in an ante-room, unless a decided request be made to the contrary.
If during your short visit the conversation begins to flag, it will be best to retire. The lady of the house may have some engagement at a fixed hour, and by remaining even a few minutes longer, she may be put to serious inconvenience. Do not, however, seem to notice any silent hint, by rising hastily; but take leave with quiet politeness, as if your time were fully expired. When other visitors are announced, retire as soon as possible, and yet without letting it appear that their arrival is the cause. Wait till the bustle of their entrance is over, and then rise from your chair, take leave of the hostess, and bow politely to the guests. By so doing you will save the lady of the house from being obliged to entertain two sets of visitors.
Should you call by chance at an inconvenient hour, when perhaps the lady is going out, or sitting down to luncheon, retire as soon as possible, even if politely asked to remain. You need not let it appear that you feel yourself an intruder; every well-bred or even good-tempered person knows what to say on such an occasion; but politely withdraw, with a promise to call again, if the lady seems to be really disappointed.