25th.—I have of late been uneasy lest Dodsley, the bookseller, should have lost much money by my ‘Experimental Agriculture,’ and called on Becket to know what became of him, and who he left. There I found that Nicoll was one of his executors, and now the only one left. I went to him and desired some information. On examining the list of his books he found there was but one single copy, and that consequently to suppose he lost by the work would be idle. ‘I can tell you what he gave you for the copy, for here is one of the greatest of curiosities.’ This was Dodsley’s book for authors’ receipts; in that he showed me William Burke’s receipt for 6l. 6s. on account of Edmund Burke, for the copy of the ‘Vindication of Natural Society.’ That book, said Nicoll, was so much admired in France by d’Alembert, Diderot, &c. &c., that it made them mad, and really produced the Revolution.
‘And now’ (he added) ‘I have shown you what Burke had for kindling the Revolution, let me also show you what he had for putting it out,’ and then he pointed out his (Burke’s) own receipt for 1,000l. for the profits of his famous volume. The [other] writings, &c., one other of his later pamphlets, were sold together for 300l. He seems, however, to have left it to Dodsley, and when the things were sold, to have taken what D. said was fair. Melmoth had a great deal of money of him, for his translations, &c.
At night letters to us all. Three came from Jane and Arthur. A sad account of the interpreter provided for him, who is an ignorant puppy of a nobleman who is too lazy to do anything. Of all the Governments I have heard of, it seems to be the most stupid, the most ignorant, and the most profligate: the fact, I dare say, is that the army alone is attended [to]. They had the news of the battle of Austerlitz, with a loss as they supposed of 40,000 Russians. Not a family at Moscow but must have lost a relation, yet a grand ball that night, and nothing but gaiety and festivity. They have no feeling. The governor took Jane into a window and told her that he was informed she disapproved of all her husband’s farming ideas as much as anyone could do, and ridiculed all his schemes. Upon explanation it came from Marshall Romanzoff, who had it from a German baron that had been at Bradfield, who, admiring the number of experiments, Mrs. Y. told him that she detested them all, and that I had ruined myself by them. A true report I will answer for, for this was her conduct through life. Lamentable it was that no enemy ever did me the mischief that I received from the wife of my bosom by the grossest falsehoods and the blackest malignity; of just such anecdotes of her conversation I have had instances from every part of the world. But do such things rise from the dust? Oh! no, they come from God, and were far less than what I merited at His hands. I had such as I deserved, or much better.
27th.—I was up at four o’clock and kept the fast till 8.30 at night; and as I have a strong stomach that will bear it pretty well, I determined to take no snuff, of which I every day take much, and am almost uncomfortable if at any time I forget my box. This was more a fast with me than abstaining from food; but whether it was not done in a right spirit, or that I had thought about it too much, I know not, but I was dead, and sleepy, and sluggish in body and soul all day except at the evening sermon. Unluckily the night before the fast long letters from Russia, and an account that Arthur had been warned much as if he would be murdered, so determinately hostile to the object are all the Russian nobility.
March 1.—Yesterday was a most worrying moment, full of labour and anxiety. In the morning to Smirenove, to read him my letter to Novosilikoff. He advised me to call on Count Strogonoff, who is here on a political mission, and who treated with Arthur at St. Petersburg. Accordingly, as soon as I returned, I wrote to request he would name a time for my waiting on him, which he did, and fixed Sunday, 10.30. Oh, how the world values that day!
Then to copy fair my letter to Novosilikoff and inclose it to Arthur in his; this, with two hundred other things, kept me till dinner on the table to the chin in anxiety, for if I did not trust in the goodness and mercy of God’s providence, I should be fearfully apprehensive of my son’s personal safety, the hints he has had are alarming.
Their general conviction at Moscow, that he is come with full powers or intentions to emancipate the boors, have made them all hostile to the plan.
March 17.—Yesterday morning, at 4 A.M., I came down to pray according to custom, and it pleased God that I should pray with more than usual fervency. I then meditated a little and fell asleep. I awaked with a certain sweetness of frame that I noticed at the time, and a transitory idea crossed my mind that God had heard my prayers, and that what I felt might possibly be His grace, or an effusion in some small degree of the Holy Spirit in my soul. It struck me also that I should know if it was by the current of my thoughts and imaginations; for any proof of the Spirit unattended by good effects would be a mere fanatical idea. I took the blessed Sacrament, and in the evening Fry preached on the means of ascertaining whether a man has the Spirit or not—a very excellent sermon, and one well adapted to urge and assist self-examination. The day closed, and I was not sensible of giving way to any loose and wild imaginations.
23rd.—Thanks to the ever blessed God, I think that I spent last week in a more satisfactory frame of heart and mind than any for an age past—more upon the watch against sin—more in contemplation of the greatness and goodness of God; vile thoughts have intruded, but I dismissed them by struggling, and my prayers have been more fervent.
April 19.—I have only to-day and to-morrow in the country. Solitude agrees best with my soul. I read all day, and only divinity, temptations are distant. Wesley could not bear the country, from the hurry and bustle of his perpetual labours having given him habits quite contrary to it.