The feeling of being free placed his soul at rest, and it seemed to him as though a pall had lost its hold in his brain, which began to operate without concern. The thought that he did not need more to make his exterior agreeable, caused him to lay aside a certain kind of collar which annoyed him, but which his bethrothed had explained to be chic. He arranged his hair in a more comfortable manner and observed how it calmed his nerves, for he had been in constant strife about the coiffure his betrothed liked best. The tobacco pipe which he loved as an old acquaintance and which he had been obliged to lay aside, was taken out again, the dressing gown and moccasins, that he had not dared to use for a long time, again gave freedom from pressure, which reminded of a more airy medium In which he could breathe without difficulty, and think without restriction.
And now, freed from all these accommodation constraints, he observed what tyranny even in small details he had lived through. He could walk in his room without the fear of being embarrassed by a knock at the door, deliver himself up to his thoughts without feeling himself false.
He had not long enjoyed the newly gained liberty, when somebody rapped at the door. His body jarred as though some mooring still held him, and when he heard the mother's voice, the oppressing thought struck him like a club, that it was not ended, that it must begin over again.
His first intention was to let the door remain closed, but a sense of propriety, the fear of being regarded as a coward determined him to open it. And when he saw the old lady's cheerful, prudent eye, as she with a kind smile and a roguish shake of her head stepped in, it was to him as though the last half hour's scene had been only a dream after which he had awakened glad that it was past.
"Have we now squabbled again?" commenced the old lady, taking away the disagreeableness of the remark by the familiar we. "You must get married, children, before there is a rupture I Believe an old woman's word; and don't think that you test your hearts as engaged, for the longer you are engaged, the worse it will become!"
"But after that it is too late to break it," answered the commissioner. "And when one has already discovered such a difference in disposition and opinions, so...."
"What are these opinions? You cannot have different opinions, no, though the girl did have it lonesome when Axel was away, and therefore she run after the colporteur. And as far as disposition is concerned, it comes and goes, according to the condition of the nerves. And Axel, who is such a knowing man, ought to know how women are!"
He could have kissed her hand at the first enchantment of finding that woman, who knew her own sex, but then he remembered that he had heard this manner of speaking ill about other women each time a woman would gain him, and that it was more of flattery than an admission, for when it came to earnestness, the utterance was always taken back with interest. Therefore he limited himself to answering:
"Let time pass, little mother! Get married out here I cannot, but let us only return to the city in the fall ... supposing that Mary shows more sympathy in my work and less repugnance to my way of seeing the world and living."
"Axel is so dreadfully profound, and if a poor girl cannot always follow it, why it is nothing to be astonished at."