A clear head and a cool judgment are among the most necessary qualities. Urbane and affable in his manners; your first-class professional is an accomplished gentleman; his knowledge of the world and daily contact with people of all conditions allow him to assimilate himself with quiet dignity with persons of all rank in the social scale of life.
Well dressed, yet without ostentation, punctual in his engagements, without the flurry of general transactions, he will treat his more wealthy customers with deferential politeness without cringing, as also will he bring in his dealings with his more modest patrons none of the hauteur characteristic of a narrow mind and a lack of education.
Perfect equanimity of temper is a transcendent virtue in an undertaker. Mistakes and delays will happen in spite of the most careful preparations and the best laid plans; accidents, unforeseen and unthought of, will occur suddenly; it is then that a clear headed man will find some prompt means to remedy all before any one of those present has taken notice of anything amiss.
Good taste is also eminently one of the requisite attributes to be displayed in the easy, informal laying out of the remains, the attitude of repose devoid of the conventional rigidity of limbs; in the chaste trimmings of the casket, rich with elegance, but without overloading with useless ornaments. How many so-called undertakers will calculate the beauty of a casket by the accumulation of silver ornaments promiscuously scattered on the top and sides; to such the profusion of flashy trimmings is the standard of elegance.
The floral decorations either in the house or the church must also be in accordance with the spirit of the scene. Good taste will likewise dictate to the undertaker that any attempt at a lachrymose or woe begone cast of countenance on his part, will not be regarded by his patrons as a criterion of his sympathies for the bereaved family, but rather as a hypocritical mask assumed for the occasion. A decorous, quiet bearing is by far better appreciated by friends and mourners.
The master head of a really good undertaker will show itself in every small detail and appointment of a funeral pageant; the carriages will quietly form without confusion, and either receive or deliver their occupants without orders being vociferously shouted from one end to the other of the line; everything will work without bluster or any noise which may grate harshly upon the ears of sorrow stricken friends or parents.
On the contrary, how is it with one who is not a proficient? His advent into the house of mourning is heralded by unusual bluster, and the often contradictory orders given to an assistant. Questions without number are asked from friends of the family or those present, about the time of the funeral, number of carriages required, etc., inquiries which are altogether out of place at the time, and ought to be postponed until those having charge of the arrangements will make the wishes of the family known to the undertaker, at his office or place of business.
Nervousness is manifest with some as soon as they commence handling a corpse, and is apparent through all the details of a funeral. Let any incident take place and everything is immediately thrown into hopeless confusion, as the undertaker himself feels more at fault than any one else.
With others, again, a funeral is made a public display of their personal authority; it is to them an occasion to conspicuously show in an ostentatious manner that the job is theirs; the management of it in their hands; they intend to run it according to their notions, with the utmost disregard of anyone else’s wishes in the matter. The undertaker is, however, but a public servant; a well-bred man will not try to coerce people into following his own ideas in regard to certain matters and utterly disregard their views of the same.
A direct conflict with the mourners in regard to some point of funeral etiquette will not place the undertaker in a very enviable position, whereas a sensible suggestion, deferentially offered to their better judgment, will win a ready assent and establish his reputation as a man thoroughly posted and well qualified for the business. Should the point be insisted upon by the family, and although it may be, in the undertaker’s opinion, a breach of established rules or customs, it is his duty to quietly submit and thereby show his moral sense of the solemnity of the occasion, which is ill-timed for a controversy of any kind.