“Why,” said I, rubbing my eyes, “it is very true that I am safe, honest Job: but, I believe, I have few thanks to give you for a circumstance so peculiarly agreeable to myself. It would have saved me much trouble, and your worthy friend, Mr. Fib Fakescrew, some pain, if you had left the door open instead of shutting me up with your club, as you are pleased to call it.”
“Very true, Sir,” said Job, “and I am extremely sorry at the accident; it was Dawson who shut the door, through utter unconsciousness, though I told him especially not to do it—the poor dog did not know whether he was on his head or his heels.”
“You have got him safe,” said I, quickly.
“Aye, trust me for that, your honour. I have locked him up at home while I came here to look for you.”
“We will lose no time in transferring him to safer custody,” said I, leaping out of bed; “but be off to—Street directly.”
“Slow and sure, Sir,” answered Jonson. “It is for you to do whatever you please, but my part of the business is over. I shall sleep at Dover tonight, and breakfast at Calais to-morrow. Perhaps it will not be very inconvenient to your honour to furnish me with my first quarter’s annuity in advance, and to see that the rest is duly paid into Lafitte’s, at Paris, for the use of Captain Douglas. Where I shall live hereafter is at present uncertain; but I dare say there will be few corners except old England and new England, in which I shall not make merry on your honour’s bounty.”
“Pooh! my good fellow,” rejoined I, “never desert a country to which your talents do such credit; stay here, and reform on your annuity. If ever I can accomplish my own wishes, I will consult your’s still farther; for I shall always think of your services with gratitude, though you did shut the door in my face.”
“No, Sir,” replied Job—“life is a blessing I would fain enjoy a few years longer; and, at present, my sojourn in England would put it woefully in danger of ‘club law.’ Besides, I begin to think that a good character is a very agreeable thing, when not too troublesome: and, as I have none left in England, I may as well make the experiment abroad. If your honour will call at the magistrate’s, and take a warrant and an officer, for the purpose of ridding me of my charge, at the very instant I see my responsibility at an end, I will have the honour of bidding you adieu.”
“Well, as you please,” said I. “Curse your scoundrel’s cosmetics! How the deuce am I ever to regain my natural complexion? Look ye, sirrah! you have painted me with a long wrinkle on the left side of my mouth, big enough to engulph all the beauty I ever had. Why, water seems to have no effect upon it!”
“To be sure not, Sir,” said Job, calmly—“I should be but a poor dauber, if my paints washed off with a wet sponge.”