“Grant me patience,” cried I, in a real panic; “how, in the name of Heaven, are they to wash off? Am I, before I have reached my twenty-third year, to look like a methodist parson on the wrong side of forty, you rascal!”
“The latter question, your honour can best answer,” returned Job. “With regard to the former, I have an unguent here, if you will suffer me to apply it, which will remove all other colours than those which nature has bestowed upon you.”
With that, Job produced a small box; and, after a brief submission to his skill, I had the ineffable joy of beholding myself restored to my original state. Nevertheless, my delight was somewhat checked by the loss of my ringlets: I thanked Heaven, however, that the damage had been sustained after Ellen’s acceptation of my addresses. A lover confined to one, should not be too destructive, for fear of the consequences to the remainder of the female world: compassion is ever due to the fair sex.
My toilet being concluded, Jonson and I repaired to the magistrate’s. He waited at the corner of the street, while I entered the house—
“‘Twere vain to tell what shook the holy man, who looked, not lovingly, at that divan.”
Having summoned to my aid the redoubted Mr.——, of mulberry-cheeked recollection, we entered a hackney-coach, and drove to Jonson’s lodgings, Job mounting guard on the box.
“I think, Sir,” said Mr.——, looking up at the man of two virtues, “that I have had the pleasure of seeing that gentleman before.”
“Very likely,” said I; “he is a young man greatly about town.”
When we had safely lodged Dawson (who seemed more collected, and even courageous, than I had expected) in the coach, Job beckoned me into a little parlour. I signed him a draught on my bankers for one hundred pounds—though at that time it was like letting the last drop from my veins—and faithfully promised, should Dawson’s evidence procure the desired end (of which, indeed, there was now no doubt), that the annuity should be regularly paid, as he desired. We then took an affectionate farewell of each other.
“Adieu, Sir!” said Job, “I depart into a new world—that of honest men!”