Don Juan

by Baron George Gordon Byron Byron

Hail, Muse! et cetera.—We left Juan sleeping,
Pillow’d upon a fair and happy breast,
And watch’d by eyes that never yet knew weeping,
And loved by a young heart, too deeply blest
To feel the poison through her spirit creeping,
Or know who rested there, a foe to rest,
Had soil’d the current of her sinless years,
And turn’d her pure heart’s purest blood to tears!
O, Love! what is it in this world of ours
Which makes it fatal to be loved? Ah, why
With cypress branches hast thou Wreathed thy bowers,
And made thy best interpreter a sigh?
As those who dote on odours pluck the flowers,
And place them on their breast—but place to die—
Thus the frail beings we would fondly cherish
Are laid within our bosoms but to perish.
In her first passion woman loves her lover,
In all the others all she loves is love,
Which grows a habit she can ne’er get over,
And fits her loosely—like an easy glove,
As you may find, whene’er you like to prove her:
One man alone at first her heart can move;
She then prefers him in the plural number,
Not finding that the additions much encumber.
I know not if the fault be men’s or theirs;
But one thing ’s pretty sure; a woman planted
(Unless at once she plunge for life in prayers)
After a decent time must be gallanted;
Although, no doubt, her first of love affairs
Is that to which her heart is wholly granted;
Yet there are some, they say, who have had none,
But those who have ne’er end with only one.
’Tis melancholy, and a fearful sign
Of human frailty, folly, also crime,
That love and marriage rarely can combine,
Although they both are born in the same clime;
Marriage from love, like vinegar from wine—
A sad, sour, sober beverage—by time
Is sharpen’d from its high celestial flavour
Down to a very homely household savour.
There’s something of antipathy, as ’twere,
Between their present and their future state;
A kind of flattery that ’s hardly fair
Is used until the truth arrives too late—
Yet what can people do, except despair?
The same things change their names at such a rate;
For instance—passion in a lover ’s glorious,
But in a husband is pronounced uxorious.
Men grow ashamed of being so very fond;
They sometimes also get a little tired
(But that, of course, is rare), and then despond:
The same things cannot always be admired,
Yet ’tis ‘so nominated in the bond,’
That both are tied till one shall have expired.
Sad thought! to lose the spouse that was adorning
Our days, and put one’s servants into mourning.
There’s doubtless something in domestic doings
Which forms, in fact, true love’s antithesis;
Romances paint at full length people’s wooings,
But only give a bust of marriages;
For no one cares for matrimonial cooings,
There’s nothing wrong in a connubial kiss:
Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch’s wife,
He would have written sonnets all his life?
All tragedies are finish’d by a death,
All comedies are ended by a marriage;
The future states of both are left to faith,
For authors fear description might disparage
The worlds to come of both, or fall beneath,
And then both worlds would punish their miscarriage;
So leaving each their priest and prayer-book ready,
They say no more of Death or of the Lady.
The only two that in my recollection
Have sung of heaven and hell, or marriage, are
Dante and Milton, and of both the affection
Was hapless in their nuptials, for some bar
Of fault or temper ruin’d the connection
(Such things, in fact, it don’t ask much to mar):
But Dante’s Beatrice and Milton’s Eve
Were not drawn from their spouses, you conceive.
Some persons say that Dante meant theology
By Beatrice, and not a mistress—I,
Although my opinion may require apology,
Deem this a commentator’s fantasy,
Unless indeed it was from his own knowledge he
Decided thus, and show’d good reason why;
I think that Dante’s more abstruse ecstatics
Meant to personify the mathematics.
Haidee and Juan were not married, but
The fault was theirs, not mine; it is not fair,
Chaste reader, then, in any way to put
The blame on me, unless you wish they were;
Then if you’d have them wedded, please to shut
The book which treats of this erroneous pair,
Before the consequences grow too awful;
’Tis dangerous to read of loves unlawful.
Yet they were happy,—happy in the illicit
Indulgence of their innocent desires;
But more imprudent grown with every visit,
Haidee forgot the island was her sire’s;
When we have what we like, ’tis hard to miss it,
At least in the beginning, ere one tires;
Thus she came often, not a moment losing,
Whilst her piratical papa was cruising.
Let not his mode of raising cash seem strange,
Although he fleeced the flags of every nation,
For into a prime minister but change
His title, and ’tis nothing but taxation;
But he, more modest, took an humbler range
Of life, and in an honester vocation
Pursued o’er the high seas his watery journey,
And merely practised as a sea-attorney.
The good old gentleman had been detain’d
By winds and waves, and some important captures;
And, in the hope of more, at sea remain’d,
Although a squall or two had damp’d his raptures,
By swamping one of the prizes; he had chain’d
His prisoners, dividing them like chapters
In number’d lots; they all had cuffs and collars,
And averaged each from ten to a hundred dollars.
Some he disposed of off Cape Matapan,
Among his friends the Mainots; some he sold
To his Tunis correspondents, save one man
Toss’d overboard unsaleable (being old);
The rest—save here and there some richer one,
Reserved for future ransom—in the hold
Were link’d alike, as for the common people he
Had a large order from the Dey of Tripoli.
The merchandise was served in the same way,
Pieced out for different marts in the Levant;
Except some certain portions of the prey,
Light classic articles of female want,
French stuffs, lace, tweezers, toothpicks, teapot, tray,
Guitars and castanets from Alicant,
All which selected from the spoil he gathers,
Robb’d for his daughter by the best of fathers.
A monkey, a Dutch mastiff, a mackaw,
Two parrots, with a Persian cat and kittens,
He chose from several animals he saw—
A terrier, too, which once had been a Briton’s,
Who dying on the coast of Ithaca,
The peasants gave the poor dumb thing a pittance;
These to secure in this strong blowing weather,
He caged in one huge hamper altogether.
Then having settled his marine affairs,
Despatching single cruisers here and there,
His vessel having need of some repairs,
He shaped his course to where his daughter fair
Continued still her hospitable cares;
But that part of the coast being shoal and bare,
And rough with reefs which ran out many a mile,
His port lay on the other side o’ the isle.
And there he went ashore without delay,
Having no custom-house nor quarantine
To ask him awkward questions on the way
About the time and place where he had been:
He left his ship to be hove down next day,
With orders to the people to careen;
So that all hands were busy beyond measure,
In getting out goods, ballast, guns, and treasure.
Arriving at the summit of a hill
Which overlook’d the white walls of his home,
He stopp’d.—What singular emotions fill
Their bosoms who have been induced to roam!
With fluttering doubts if all be well or ill—
With love for many, and with fears for some;
All feelings which o’erleap the years long lost,
And bring our hearts back to their starting-post.
The approach of home to husbands and to sires,
After long travelling by land or water,
Most naturally some small doubt inspires—
A female family ’s a serious matter
(None trusts the sex more, or so much admires—
But they hate flattery, so I never flatter);
Wives in their husbands’ absences grow subtler,
And daughters sometimes run off with the butler.
An honest gentleman at his return
May not have the good fortune of Ulysses;
Not all lone matrons for their husbands mourn,
Or show the same dislike to suitors’ kisses;
The odds are that he finds a handsome urn
To his memory—and two or three young misses
Born to some friend, who holds his wife and riches,—
And that his Argus—bites him by the breeches.
If single, probably his plighted fair
Has in his absence wedded some rich miser;
But all the better, for the happy pair
May quarrel, and the lady growing wiser,
He may resume his amatory care
As cavalier servente, or despise her;
And that his sorrow may not be a dumb one,
Write odes on the Inconstancy of Woman.
And oh! ye gentlemen who have already
Some chaste liaison of the kind—I mean
An honest friendship with a married lady—
The only thing of this sort ever seen
To last—of all connections the most steady,
And the true Hymen (the first ’s but a screen)—
Yet for all that keep not too long away,
I’ve known the absent wrong’d four times a day.
Lambro, our sea-solicitor, who had
Much less experience of dry land than ocean,
On seeing his own chimney-smoke, felt glad;
But not knowing metaphysics, had no notion
Of the true reason of his not being sad,
Or that of any other strong emotion;
He loved his child, and would have wept the loss of her,
But knew the cause no more than a philosopher.
He saw his white walls shining in the sun,
His garden trees all shadowy and green;
He heard his rivulet’s light bubbling run,
The distant dog-bark; and perceived between
The umbrage of the wood so cool and dun
The moving figures, and the sparkling sheen
Of arms (in the East all arm)—and various dyes
Of colour’d garbs, as bright as butterflies.
And as the spot where they appear he nears,
Surprised at these unwonted signs of idling,
He hears—alas! no music of the spheres,
But an unhallow’d, earthly sound of fiddling!
A melody which made him doubt his ears,
The cause being past his guessing or unriddling;
A pipe, too, and a drum, and shortly after,
A most unoriental roar of laughter.
And still more nearly to the place advancing,
Descending rather quickly the declivity,
Through the waved branches o’er the greensward glancing,
’Midst other indications of festivity,
Seeing a troop of his domestics dancing
Like dervises, who turn as on a pivot, he
Perceived it was the Pyrrhic dance so martial,
To which the Levantines are very partial.
And further on a group of Grecian girls,
The first and tallest her white kerchief waving,
Were strung together like a row of pearls,
Link’d hand in hand, and dancing; each too having
Down her white neck long floating auburn curls
(The least of which would set ten poets raving);
Their leader sang—and bounded to her song,
With choral step and voice, the virgin throng.
And here, assembled cross-legg’d round their trays,
Small social parties just begun to dine;
Pilaus and meats of all sorts met the gaze,
And flasks of Samian and of Chian wine,
And sherbet cooling in the porous vase;
Above them their dessert grew on its vine,
The orange and pomegranate nodding o’er
Dropp’d in their laps, scarce pluck’d, their mellow store.
A band of children, round a snow-white ram,
There wreathe his venerable horns with flowers;
While peaceful as if still an unwean’d lamb,
The patriarch of the flock all gently cowers
His sober head, majestically tame,
Or eats from out the palm, or playful lowers
His brow, as if in act to butt, and then
Yielding to their small hands, draws back again.
Their classical profiles, and glittering dresses,
Their large black eyes, and soft seraphic cheeks,
Crimson as cleft pomegranates, their long tresses,
The gesture which enchants, the eye that speaks,
The innocence which happy childhood blesses,
Made quite a picture of these little Greeks;
So that the philosophical beholder
Sigh’d for their sakes—that they should e’er grow older.
Afar, a dwarf buffoon stood telling tales
To a sedate grey circle of old smokers,
Of secret treasures found in hidden vales,
Of wonderful replies from Arab jokers,
Of charms to make good gold and cure bad ails,
Of rocks bewitch’d that open to the knockers,
Of magic ladies who, by one sole act,
Transform’d their lords to beasts (but that ’s a fact).
Here was no lack of innocent diversion
For the imagination or the senses,
Song, dance, wine, music, stories from the Persian,
All pretty pastimes in which no offence is;
But Lambro saw all these things with aversion,
Perceiving in his absence such expenses,
Dreading that climax of all human ills,
The inflammation of his weekly bills.
Ah! what is man? what perils still environ
The happiest mortals even after dinner—
A day of gold from out an age of iron
Is all that life allows the luckiest sinner;
Pleasure (whene’er she sings, at least) ’s a siren,
That lures, to flay alive, the young beginner;
Lambro’s reception at his people’s banquet
Was such as fire accords to a wet blanket.
He—being a man who seldom used a word
Too much, and wishing gladly to surprise
(In general he surprised men with the sword)
His daughter—had not sent before to advise
Of his arrival, so that no one stirr’d;
And long he paused to re-assure his eyes
In fact much more astonish’d than delighted,
To find so much good company invited.
He did not know (alas! how men will lie)
That a report (especially the Greeks)
Avouch’d his death (such people never die),
And put his house in mourning several weeks,—
But now their eyes and also lips were dry;
The bloom, too, had return’d to Haidee’s cheeks,
Her tears, too, being return’d into their fount,
She now kept house upon her own account.
Hence all this rice, meat, dancing, wine, and fiddling,
Which turn’d the isle into a place of pleasure;
The servants all were getting drunk or idling,
A life which made them happy beyond measure.
Her father’s hospitality seem’d middling,
Compared with what Haidee did with his treasure;
’Twas wonderful how things went on improving,
While she had not one hour to spare from loving.
Perhaps you think in stumbling on this feast
He flew into a passion, and in fact
There was no mighty reason to be pleased;
Perhaps you prophesy some sudden act,
The whip, the rack, or dungeon at the least,
To teach his people to be more exact,
And that, proceeding at a very high rate,
He show’d the royal penchants of a pirate.
You’re wrong.—He was the mildest manner’d man
That ever scuttled ship or cut a throat:
With such true breeding of a gentleman,
You never could divine his real thought;
No courtier could, and scarcely woman can
Gird more deceit within a petticoat;
Pity he loved adventurous life’s variety,
He was so great a loss to good society.
Advancing to the nearest dinner tray,
Tapping the shoulder of the nighest guest,
With a peculiar smile, which, by the way,
Boded no good, whatever it express’d,
He ask’d the meaning of this holiday;
The vinous Greek to whom he had address’d
His question, much too merry to divine
The questioner, fill’d up a glass of wine,
And without turning his facetious head,
Over his shoulder, with a Bacchant air,
Presented the o’erflowing cup, and said,
‘Talking ’s dry work, I have no time to spare.’
A second hiccup’d, ‘Our old master ’s dead,
You’d better ask our mistress who ’s his heir.’
‘Our mistress!’ quoth a third: ‘Our mistress!—pooh!-
You mean our master—not the old, but new.’
These rascals, being new comers, knew not whom
They thus address’d—and Lambro’s visage fell—
And o’er his eye a momentary gloom
Pass’d, but he strove quite courteously to quell
The expression, and endeavouring to resume
His smile, requested one of them to tell
The name and quality of his new patron,
Who seem’d to have turn’d Haidee into a matron.
‘I know not,’ quoth the fellow, ‘who or what
He is, nor whence he came—and little care;
But this I know, that this roast capon ’s fat,
And that good wine ne’er wash’d down better fare;
And if you are not satisfied with that,
Direct your questions to my neighbour there;
He’ll answer all for better or for worse,
For none likes more to hear himself converse.’
I said that Lambro was a man of patience,
And certainly he show’d the best of breeding,
Which scarce even France, the paragon of nations,
E’er saw her most polite of sons exceeding;
He bore these sneers against his near relations,
His own anxiety, his heart, too, bleeding,
The insults, too, of every servile glutton,
Who all the time was eating up his mutton.
Now in a person used to much command—
To bid men come, and go, and come again—
To see his orders done, too, out of hand—
Whether the word was death, or but the chain—
It may seem strange to find his manners bland;
Yet such things are, which I can not explain,
Though doubtless he who can command himself
Is good to govern—almost as a Guelf.
Not that he was not sometimes rash or so,
But never in his real and serious mood;
Then calm, concentrated, and still, and slow,
He lay coil’d like the boa in the wood;
With him it never was a word and blow,
His angry word once o’er, he shed no blood,
But in his silence there was much to rue,
And his one blow left little work for two.
He ask’d no further questions, and proceeded
On to the house, but by a private way,
So that the few who met him hardly heeded,
So little they expected him that day;
If love paternal in his bosom pleaded
For Haidee’s sake, is more than I can say,
But certainly to one deem’d dead, returning,
This revel seem’d a curious mode of mourning.
If all the dead could now return to life
(Which God forbid!) or some, or a great many,
For instance, if a husband or his wife
(Nuptial examples are as good as any),
No doubt whate’er might be their former strife,
The present weather would be much more rainy—
Tears shed into the grave of the connection
Would share most probably its resurrection.
He enter’d in the house no more his home,
A thing to human feelings the most trying,
And harder for the heart to overcome,
Perhaps, than even the mental pangs of dying;
To find our hearthstone turn’d into a tomb,
And round its once warm precincts palely lying
The ashes of our hopes, is a deep grief,
Beyond a single gentleman’s belief.
He enter’d in the house—his home no more,
For without hearts there is no home; and felt
The solitude of passing his own door
Without a welcome; there he long had dwelt,
There his few peaceful days Time had swept o’er,
There his worn bosom and keen eye would melt
Over the innocence of that sweet child,
His only shrine of feelings undefiled.
He was a man of a strange temperament,
Of mild demeanour though of savage mood,
Moderate in all his habits, and content
With temperance in pleasure, as in food,
Quick to perceive, and strong to bear, and meant
For something better, if not wholly good;
His country’s wrongs and his despair to save her
Had stung him from a slave to an enslaver.
The love of power, and rapid gain of gold,
The hardness by long habitude produced,
The dangerous life in which he had grown old,
The mercy he had granted oft abused,
The sights he was accustom’d to behold,
The wild seas, and wild men with whom he cruised,
Had cost his enemies a long repentance,
And made him a good friend, but bad acquaintance.
But something of the spirit of old Greece
Flash’d o’er his soul a few heroic rays,
Such as lit onward to the Golden Fleece
His predecessors in the Colchian days;
T is true he had no ardent love for peace—
Alas! his country show’d no path to praise:
Hate to the world and war with every nation
He waged, in vengeance of her degradation.
Still o’er his mind the influence of the clime
Shed its Ionian elegance, which show’d
Its power unconsciously full many a time,—
A taste seen in the choice of his abode,
A love of music and of scenes sublime,
A pleasure in the gentle stream that flow’d
Past him in crystal, and a joy in flowers,
Bedew’d his spirit in his calmer hours.
But whatsoe’er he had of love reposed
On that beloved daughter; she had been
The only thing which kept his heart unclosed
Amidst the savage deeds he had done and seen;
A lonely pure affection unopposed:
There wanted but the loss of this to wean
His feelings from all milk of human kindness,
And turn him like the Cyclops mad with blindness.
The cubless tigress in her jungle raging
Is dreadful to the shepherd and the flock;
The ocean when its yeasty war is waging
Is awful to the vessel near the rock;
But violent things will sooner bear assuaging,
Their fury being spent by its own shock,
Than the stern, single, deep, and wordless ire
Of a strong human heart, and in a sire.
It is a hard although a common case
To find our children running restive—they
In whom our brightest days we would retrace,
Our little selves re-form’d in finer clay,
Just as old age is creeping on apace,
And clouds come o’er the sunset of our day,
They kindly leave us, though not quite alone,
But in good company—the gout or stone.
Yet a fine family is a fine thing
(Provided they don’t come in after dinner);
’Tis beautiful to see a matron bring
Her children up (if nursing them don’t thin her);
Like cherubs round an altar-piece they cling
To the fire-side (a sight to touch a sinner).
A lady with her daughters or her nieces
Shines like a guinea and seven-shilling pieces.
Old Lambro pass’d unseen a private gate,
And stood within his hall at eventide;
Meantime the lady and her lover sate
At wassail in their beauty and their pride:
An ivory inlaid table spread with state
Before them, and fair slaves on every side;
Gems, gold, and silver, form’d the service mostly,
Mother of pearl and coral the less costly.
The dinner made about a hundred dishes;
Lamb and pistachio nuts—in short, all meats,
And saffron soups, and sweetbreads; and the fishes
Were of the finest that e’er flounced in nets,
Drest to a Sybarite’s most pamper’d wishes;
The beverage was various sherbets
Of raisin, orange, and pomegranate juice,
Squeezed through the rind, which makes it best for use.
These were ranged round, each in its crystal ewer,
And fruits, and date-bread loaves closed the repast,
And Mocha’s berry, from Arabia pure,
In small fine China cups, came in at last;
Gold cups of filigree made to secure
The hand from burning underneath them placed,
Cloves, cinnamon, and saffron too were boil’d
Up with the coffee, which (I think) they spoil’d.
The hangings of the room were tapestry, made
Of velvet panels, each of different hue,
And thick with damask flowers of silk inlaid;
And round them ran a yellow border too;
The upper border, richly wrought, display’d,
Embroider’d delicately o’er with blue,
Soft Persian sentences, in lilac letters,
From poets, or the moralists their betters.
These Oriental writings on the wall,
Quite common in those countries, are a kind
Of monitors adapted to recall,
Like skulls at Memphian banquets, to the mind
The words which shook Belshazzar in his hall,
And took his kingdom from him: You will find,
Though sages may pour out their wisdom’s treasure,
There is no sterner moralist than Pleasure.
A beauty at the season’s close grown hectic,
A genius who has drunk himself to death,
A rake turn’d methodistic, or Eclectic
(For that ’s the name they like to pray beneath)—
But most, an alderman struck apoplectic,
Are things that really take away the breath,—
And show that late hours, wine, and love are able
To do not much less damage than the table.
Haidee and Juan carpeted their feet
On crimson satin, border’d with pale blue;
Their sofa occupied three parts complete
Of the apartment—and appear’d quite new;
The velvet cushions (for a throne more meet)
Were scarlet, from whose glowing centre grew
A sun emboss’d in gold, whose rays of tissue,
Meridian-like, were seen all light to issue.
Crystal and marble, plate and porcelain,
Had done their work of splendour; Indian mats
And Persian carpets, which the heart bled to stain,
Over the floors were spread; gazelles and cats,
And dwarfs and blacks, and such like things, that gain
Their bread as ministers and favourites (that ’s
To say, by degradation) mingled there
As plentiful as in a court, or fair.
There was no want of lofty mirrors, and
The tables, most of ebony inlaid
With mother of pearl or ivory, stood at hand,
Or were of tortoise-shell or rare woods made,
Fretted with gold or silver:—by command,
The greater part of these were ready spread
With viands and sherbets in ice—and wine—
Kept for all comers at all hours to dine.
Of all the dresses I select Haidee’s:
She wore two jelicks—one was of pale yellow;
Of azure, pink, and white was her chemise—
’Neath which her breast heaved like a little billow;
With buttons form’d of pearls as large as peas,
All gold and crimson shone her jelick’s fellow,
And the striped white gauze baracan that bound her,
Like fleecy clouds about the moon, flow’d round her.
One large gold bracelet clasp’d each lovely arm,
Lockless—so pliable from the pure gold
That the hand stretch’d and shut it without harm,
The limb which it adorn’d its only mould;
So beautiful—its very shape would charm;
And, clinging as if loath to lose its hold,
The purest ore enclosed the whitest skin
That e’er by precious metal was held in.
Around, as princess of her father’s land,
A like gold bar above her instep roll’d
Announced her rank; twelve rings were on her hand;
Her hair was starr’d with gems; her veil’s fine fold
Below her breast was fasten’d with a band
Of lavish pearls, whose worth could scarce be told;
Her orange silk full Turkish trousers furl’d
About the prettiest ankle in the world.
Her hair’s long auburn waves down to her heel
Flow’d like an Alpine torrent which the sun
Dyes with his morning light,—and would conceal
Her person if allow’d at large to run,
And still they seem resentfully to feel
The silken fillet’s curb, and sought to shun
Their bonds whene’er some Zephyr caught began
To offer his young pinion as her fan.
Round her she made an atmosphere of life,
The very air seem’d lighter from her eyes,
They were so soft and beautiful, and rife
With all we can imagine of the skies,
And pure as Psyche ere she grew a wife—
Too pure even for the purest human ties;
Her overpowering presence made you feel
It would not be idolatry to kneel.
Her eyelashes, though dark as night, were tinged
(It is the country’s custom), but in vain;
For those large black eyes were so blackly fringed,
The glossy rebels mock’d the jetty stain,
And in their native beauty stood avenged:
Her nails were touch’d with henna; but again
The power of art was turn’d to nothing, for
They could not look more rosy than before.
The henna should be deeply dyed to make
The skin relieved appear more fairly fair;
She had no need of this, day ne’er will break
On mountain tops more heavenly white than her:
The eye might doubt if it were well awake,
She was so like a vision; I might err,
But Shakspeare also says, ’tis very silly
‘To gild refined gold, or paint the lily’
Juan had on a shawl of black and gold,
But a white baracan, and so transparent
The sparkling gems beneath you might behold,
Like small stars through the milky way apparent;
His turban, furl’d in many a graceful fold,
An emerald aigrette with Haidee’s hair in ’t
Surmounted as its clasp—a glowing crescent,
Whose rays shone ever trembling, but incessant.
And now they were diverted by their suite,
Dwarfs, dancing girls, black eunuchs, and a poet,
Which made their new establishment complete;
The last was of great fame, and liked to show it:
His verses rarely wanted their due feet;
And for his theme—he seldom sung below it,
He being paid to satirize or flatter,
As the psalm says, ‘inditing a good matter.’
He praised the present, and abused the past,
Reversing the good custom of old days,
An Eastern anti-jacobin at last
He turn’d, preferring pudding to no praise—
For some few years his lot had been o’ercast
By his seeming independent in his lays,
But now he sung the Sultan and the Pacha
With truth like Southey, and with verse like Crashaw.
He was a man who had seen many changes,
And always changed as true as any needle;
His polar star being one which rather ranges,
And not the fix’d—he knew the way to wheedle:
So vile he ’scaped the doom which oft avenges;
And being fluent (save indeed when fee’d ill),
He lied with such a fervour of intention—
There was no doubt he earn’d his laureate pension.
But he had genius,—when a turncoat has it,
The ‘Vates irritabilis’ takes care
That without notice few full moons shall pass it;
Even good men like to make the public stare:—
But to my subject—let me see—what was it?-
O!—the third canto—and the pretty pair—
Their loves, and feasts, and house, and dress, and mode
Of living in their insular abode.
Their poet, a sad trimmer, but no less
In company a very pleasant fellow,
Had been the favourite of full many a mess
Of men, and made them speeches when half mellow;
And though his meaning they could rarely guess,
Yet still they deign’d to hiccup or to bellow
The glorious meed of popular applause,
Of which the first ne’er knows the second cause.
But now being lifted into high society,
And having pick’d up several odds and ends
Of free thoughts in his travels for variety,
He deem’d, being in a lone isle, among friends,
That, without any danger of a riot, he
Might for long lying make himself amends;
And, singing as he sung in his warm youth,
Agree to a short armistice with truth.
He had travell’d ’mongst the Arabs, Turks, and Franks,
And knew the self-loves of the different nations;
And having lived with people of all ranks,
Had something ready upon most occasions—
Which got him a few presents and some thanks.
He varied with some skill his adulations;
To ‘do at Rome as Romans do,’ a piece
Of conduct was which he observed in Greece.
Thus, usually, when he was ask’d to sing,
He gave the different nations something national;
’Twas all the same to him—‘God save the king,’
Or ‘Ca ira,’ according to the fashion all:
His muse made increment of any thing,
From the high lyric down to the low rational:
If Pindar sang horse-races, what should hinder
Himself from being as pliable as Pindar?
In France, for instance, he would write a chanson;
In England a six canto quarto tale;
In Spain, he’d make a ballad or romance on
The last war—much the same in Portugal;
In Germany, the Pegasus he’d prance on
Would be old Goethe’s (see what says De Stael);
In Italy he’d ape the ‘Trecentisti;’
In Greece, he sing some sort of hymn like this t’ ye:
The isles of Greece, the Isles of Greece!
Where burning Sappho loved and sung,
Where grew the arts of war and peace,
Where Delos rose, and Phoebus sprung!
Eternal summer gilds them yet,
But all, except their sun, is set.
The Scian and the Teian muse,
The hero’s harp, the lover’s lute,
Have found the fame your shores refuse;
Their place of birth alone is mute
To sounds which echo further west
Than your sires’ ‘Islands of the Blest.’
The mountains look on Marathon—
And Marathon looks on the sea;
And musing there an hour alone,
I dream’d that Greece might still be free;
For standing on the Persians’ grave,
I could not deem myself a slave.
A king sate on the rocky brow
Which looks o’er sea-born Salamis;
And ships, by thousands, lay below,
And men in nations;—all were his!
He counted them at break of day—
And when the sun set where were they?
And where are they? and where art thou,
My country? On thy voiceless shore
The heroic lay is tuneless now—
The heroic bosom beats no more!
And must thy lyre, so long divine,
Degenerate into hands like mine?
’Tis something, in the dearth of fame,
Though link’d among a fetter’d race,
To feel at least a patriot’s shame,
Even as I sing, suffuse my face;
For what is left the poet here?
For Greeks a blush—for Greece a tear.
Must we but weep o’er days more blest?
Must we but blush?—Our fathers bled.
Earth! render back from out thy breast
A remnant of our Spartan dead!
Of the three hundred grant but three,
To make a new Thermopylae!
What, silent still? and silent all?
Ah! no;—the voices of the dead
Sound like a distant torrent’s fall,
And answer, ‘Let one living head,
But one arise,—we come, we come!’
’Tis but the living who are dumb.
In vain—in vain: strike other chords;
Fill high the cup with Samian wine!
Leave battles to the Turkish hordes,
And shed the blood of Scio’s vine!
Hark! rising to the ignoble call—
How answers each bold Bacchanal!
You have the Pyrrhic dance as yet,
Where is the Pyrrhic phalanx gone?
Of two such lessons, why forget
The nobler and the manlier one?
You have the letters Cadmus gave—
Think ye he meant them for a slave?
Fill high the bowl with Samian wine!
We will not think of themes like these!
It made Anacreon’s song divine:
He served—but served Polycrates—
A tyrant; but our masters then
Were still, at least, our countrymen.
The tyrant of the Chersonese
Was freedom’s best and bravest friend;
That tyrant was Miltiades!
O! that the present hour would lend
Another despot of the kind!
Such chains as his were sure to bind.
Fill high the bowl with Samian wine!
On Suli’s rock, and Parga’s shore,
Exists the remnant of a line
Such as the Doric mothers bore;
And there, perhaps, some seed is sown,
The Heracleidan blood might own.
Trust not for freedom to the Franks—
They have a king who buys and sells;
In native swords, and native ranks,
The only hope of courage dwells;
But Turkish force, and Latin fraud,
Would break your shield, however broad.
Fill high the bowl with Samian wine!
Our virgins dance beneath the shade—
I see their glorious black eyes shine;
But gazing on each glowing maid,
My own the burning tear-drop laves,
To think such breasts must suckle slaves
Place me on Sunium’s marbled steep,
Where nothing, save the waves and I,
May hear our mutual murmurs sweep;
There, swan-like, let me sing and die:
A land of slaves shall ne’er be mine—
Dash down yon cup of Samian wine!
Thus sung, or would, or could, or should have sung,
The modern Greek, in tolerable verse;
If not like Orpheus quite, when Greece was young,
Yet in these times he might have done much worse:
His strain display’d some feeling—right or wrong;
And feeling, in a poet, is the source
Of others’ feeling; but they are such liars,
And take all colours—like the hands of dyers.
But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think;
’Tis strange, the shortest letter which man uses
Instead of speech, may form a lasting link
Of ages; to what straits old Time reduces
Frail man, when paper—even a rag like this,
Survives himself, his tomb, and all that ’s his.
And when his bones are dust, his grave a blank,
His station, generation, even his nation,
Become a thing, or nothing, save to rank
In chronological commemoration,
Some dull MS. oblivion long has sank,
Or graven stone found in a barrack’s station
In digging the foundation of a closet,
May turn his name up, as a rare deposit.
And glory long has made the sages smile;
’Tis something, nothing, words, illusion, wind—
Depending more upon the historian’s style
Than on the name a person leaves behind:
Troy owes to Homer what whist owes to Hoyle:
The present century was growing blind
To the great Marlborough’s skill in giving knocks,
Until his late life by Archdeacon Coxe.
Milton ’s the prince of poets—so we say;
A little heavy, but no less divine:
An independent being in his day—
Learn’d, pious, temperate in love and wine;
But, his life falling into Johnson’s way,
We’re told this great high priest of all the Nine
Was whipt at college—a harsh sire—odd spouse,
For the first Mrs. Milton left his house.
All these are, certes, entertaining facts,
Like Shakspeare’s stealing deer, Lord Bacon’s bribes;
Like Titus’ youth, and Caesar’s earliest acts;
Like Burns (whom Doctor Currie well describes);
Like Cromwell’s pranks;—but although truth exacts
These amiable descriptions from the scribes,
As most essential to their hero’s story,
They do not much contribute to his glory.
All are not moralists, like Southey, when
He prated to the world of ‘Pantisocracy;’
Or Wordsworth unexcised, unhired, who then
Season’d his pedlar poems with democracy;
Or Coleridge, long before his flighty pen
Let to the Morning Post its aristocracy;
When he and Southey, following the same path,
Espoused two partners (milliners of Bath).
Such names at present cut a convict figure,
The very Botany Bay in moral geography;
Their loyal treason, renegado rigour,
Are good manure for their more bare biography.
Wordsworth’s last quarto, by the way, is bigger
Than any since the birthday of typography;
A drowsy frowzy poem, call’d the ‘Excursion.’
Writ in a manner which is my aversion.
He there builds up a formidable dyke
Between his own and others’ intellect;
But Wordsworth’s poem, and his followers, like
Joanna Southcote’s Shiloh, and her sect,
Are things which in this century don’t strike
The public mind,—so few are the elect;
And the new births of both their stale virginities
Have proved but dropsies, taken for divinities.
But let me to my story: I must own,
If I have any fault, it is digression—
Leaving my people to proceed alone,
While I soliloquize beyond expression;
But these are my addresses from the throne,
Which put off business to the ensuing session:
Forgetting each omission is a loss to
The world, not quite so great as Ariosto.
I know that what our neighbours call ‘longueurs’
(We’ve not so good a word, but have the thing
In that complete perfection which ensures
An epic from Bob Southey every spring),
Form not the true temptation which allures
The reader; but ’twould not be hard to bring
Some fine examples of the epopee,
To prove its grand ingredient is ennui.
We learn from Horace, ‘Homer sometimes sleeps;’
We feel without him, Wordsworth sometimes wakes,—
To show with what complacency he creeps,
With his dear ‘Waggoners,’ around his lakes.
He wishes for ‘a boat’ to sail the deeps—
Of ocean?—No, of air; and then he makes
Another outcry for ‘a little boat,’
And drivels seas to set it well afloat.
If he must fain sweep o’er the ethereal plain,
And Pegasus runs restive in his ‘Waggon,’
Could he not beg the loan of Charles’s Wain?
Or pray Medea for a single dragon?
Or if, too classic for his vulgar brain,
He fear’d his neck to venture such a nag on,
And he must needs mount nearer to the moon,
Could not the blockhead ask for a balloon?
‘Pedlars,’ and ‘Boats,’ and ‘Waggons!’ Oh! ye shades
Of Pope and Dryden, are we come to this?
That trash of such sort not alone evades
Contempt, but from the bathos’ vast abyss
Floats scumlike uppermost, and these Jack Cades
Of sense and song above your graves may hiss—
The’little boatman’ and his ‘Peter Bell’
Can sneer at him who drew ‘Achitophel’!
T’ our tale.—The feast was over, the slaves gone,
The dwarfs and dancing girls had all retired;
The Arab lore and poet’s song were done,
And every sound of revelry expired;
The lady and her lover, left alone,
The rosy flood of twilight’s sky admired;—
Ave Maria! o’er the earth and sea,
That heavenliest hour of Heaven is worthiest thee!
Ave Maria! blessed be the hour!
The time, the clime, the spot, where I so oft
Have felt that moment in its fullest power
Sink o’er the earth so beautiful and soft,
While swung the deep bell in the distant tower,
Or the faint dying day-hymn stole aloft,
And not a breath crept through the rosy air,
And yet the forest leaves seem’d stirr’d with prayer.
Ave Maria! ’tis the hour of prayer!
Ave Maria! ’tis the hour of love!
Ave Maria! may our spirits dare
Look up to thine and to thy Son’s above!
Ave Maria! oh that face so fair!
Those downcast eyes beneath the Almighty dove—
What though ’tis but a pictured image?—strike—
That painting is no idol,—’tis too like.
Some kinder casuists are pleased to say,
In nameless print—that I have no devotion;
But set those persons down with me to pray,
And you shall see who has the properest notion
Of getting into heaven the shortest way;
My altars are the mountains and the ocean,
Earth, air, stars,—all that springs from the great Whole,
Who hath produced, and will receive the soul.
Sweet hour of twilight!—in the solitude
Of the pine forest, and the silent shore
Which bounds Ravenna’s immemorial wood,
Rooted where once the Adrian wave flow’d o’er,
To where the last Caesarean fortress stood,
Evergreen forest! which Boccaccio’s lore
And Dryden’s lay made haunted ground to me,
How have I loved the twilight hour and thee!
The shrill cicadas, people of the pine,
Making their summer lives one ceaseless song,
Were the sole echoes, save my steed’s and mine,
And vesper bell’s that rose the boughs along;
The spectre huntsman of Onesti’s line,
His hell-dogs, and their chase, and the fair throng
Which learn’d from this example not to fly
From a true lover,—shadow’d my mind’s eye.
O, Hesperus! thou bringest all good things—
Home to the weary, to the hungry cheer,
To the young bird the parent’s brooding wings,
The welcome stall to the o’erlabour’d steer;
Whate’er of peace about our hearthstone clings,
Whate’er our household gods protect of dear,
Are gather’d round us by thy look of rest;
Thou bring’st the child, too, to the mother’s breast.
Soft hour! which wakes the wish and melts the heart
Of those who sail the seas, on the first day
When they from their sweet friends are torn apart;
Or fills with love the pilgrim on his way
As the far bell of vesper makes him start,
Seeming to weep the dying day’s decay;
Is this a fancy which our reason scorns?
Ah! surely nothing dies but something mourns!
When Nero perish’d by the justest doom
Which ever the destroyer yet destroy’d,
Amidst the roar of liberated Rome,
Of nations freed, and the world overjoy’d,
Some hands unseen strew’d flowers upon his tomb:
Perhaps the weakness of a heart not void
Of feeling for some kindness done, when power
Had left the wretch an uncorrupted hour.
But I’m digressing; what on earth has Nero,
Or any such like sovereign buffoons,
To do with the transactions of my hero,
More than such madmen’s fellow man—the moon’s?
Sure my invention must be down at zero,
And I grown one of many ‘wooden spoons’
Of verse (the name with which we Cantabs please
To dub the last of honours in degrees).
I feel this tediousness will never do—
’Tis being too epic, and I must cut down
(In copying) this long canto into two;
They’ll never find it out, unless I own
The fact, excepting some experienced few;
And then as an improvement ’twill be shown:
I’ll prove that such the opinion of the critic is
From Aristotle passim.—See poietikes.

CANTO THE FOURTH.

Nothing so difficult as a beginning
In poesy, unless perhaps the end;
For oftentimes when Pegasus seems winning
The race, he sprains a wing, and down we tend,
Like Lucifer when hurl’d from heaven for sinning;
Our sin the same, and hard as his to mend,
Being pride, which leads the mind to soar too far,
Till our own weakness shows us what we are.
But Time, which brings all beings to their level,
And sharp Adversity, will teach at last
Man,—and, as we would hope,—perhaps the devil,
That neither of their intellects are vast:
While youth’s hot wishes in our red veins revel,
We know not this—the blood flows on too fast;
But as the torrent widens towards the ocean,
We ponder deeply on each past emotion.
As boy, I thought myself a clever fellow,
And wish’d that others held the same opinion;
They took it up when my days grew more mellow,
And other minds acknowledged my dominion:
Now my sere fancy ‘falls into the yellow
Leaf,’ and Imagination droops her pinion,
And the sad truth which hovers o’er my desk
Turns what was once romantic to burlesque.
And if I laugh at any mortal thing,
’Tis that I may not weep; and if I weep,
’Tis that our nature cannot always bring
Itself to apathy, for we must steep
Our hearts first in the depths of Lethe’s spring,
Ere what we least wish to behold will sleep:
Thetis baptized her mortal son in Styx;
A mortal mother would on Lethe fix.
Some have accused me of a strange design
Against the creed and morals of the land,
And trace it in this poem every line:
I don’t pretend that I quite understand
My own meaning when I would be very fine;
But the fact is that I have nothing plann’d,
Unless it were to be a moment merry,
A novel word in my vocabulary.
To the kind reader of our sober clime
This way of writing will appear exotic;
Pulci was sire of the half-serious rhyme,
Who sang when chivalry was more Quixotic,
And revell’d in the fancies of the time,
True knights, chaste dames, huge giants, kings despotic:
But all these, save the last, being obsolete,
I chose a modern subject as more meet.
How I have treated it, I do not know;
Perhaps no better than they have treated me
Who have imputed such designs as show
Not what they saw, but what they wish’d to see:
But if it gives them pleasure, be it so;
This is a liberal age, and thoughts are free:
Meantime Apollo plucks me by the ear,
And tells me to resume my story here.
Young Juan and his lady-love were left
To their own hearts’ most sweet society;
Even Time the pitiless in sorrow cleft
With his rude scythe such gentle bosoms; he
Sigh’d to behold them of their hours bereft,
Though foe to love; and yet they could not be
Meant to grow old, but die in happy spring,
Before one charm or hope had taken wing.
Their faces were not made for wrinkles, their
Pure blood to stagnate, their great hearts to fail;
The blank grey was not made to blast their hair,
But like the climes that know nor snow nor hail
They were all summer: lightning might assail
And shiver them to ashes, but to trail
A long and snake-like life of dull decay
Was not for them—they had too little day.
They were alone once more; for them to be
Thus was another Eden; they were never
Weary, unless when separate: the tree
Cut from its forest root of years—the river
Damm’d from its fountain—the child from the knee
And breast maternal wean’d at once for ever,—
Would wither less than these two torn apart;
Alas! there is no instinct like the heart—
The heart—which may be broken: happy they!
Thrice fortunate! who of that fragile mould,
The precious porcelain of human clay,
Break with the first fall: they can ne’er behold
The long year link’d with heavy day on day,
And all which must be borne, and never told;
While life’s strange principle will often lie
Deepest in those who long the most to die.
‘Whom the gods love die young,’ was said of yore,
And many deaths do they escape by this:
The death of friends, and that which slays even more—
The death of friendship, love, youth, all that is,
Except mere breath; and since the silent shore
Awaits at last even those who longest miss
The old archer’s shafts, perhaps the early grave
Which men weep over may be meant to save.
Haidee and Juan thought not of the dead—
The heavens, and earth, and air, seem’d made for them:
They found no fault with Time, save that he fled;
They saw not in themselves aught to condemn:
Each was the other’s mirror, and but read
Joy sparkling in their dark eyes like a gem,
And knew such brightness was but the reflection
Of their exchanging glances of affection.
The gentle pressure, and the thrilling touch,
The least glance better understood than words,
Which still said all, and ne’er could say too much;
A language, too, but like to that of birds,
Known but to them, at least appearing such
As but to lovers a true sense affords;
Sweet playful phrases, which would seem absurd
To those who have ceased to hear such, or ne’er heard,—
All these were theirs, for they were children still,
And children still they should have ever been;
They were not made in the real world to fill
A busy character in the dull scene,
But like two beings born from out a rill,
A nymph and her beloved, all unseen
To pass their lives in fountains and on flowers,
And never know the weight of human hours.
Moons changing had roll’d on, and changeless found
Those their bright rise had lighted to such joys
As rarely they beheld throughout their round;
And these were not of the vain kind which cloys,
For theirs were buoyant spirits, never bound
By the mere senses; and that which destroys
Most love, possession, unto them appear’d
A thing which each endearment more endear’d.
O beautiful! and rare as beautiful
But theirs was love in which the mind delights
To lose itself when the old world grows dull,
And we are sick of its hack sounds and sights,
Intrigues, adventures of the common school,
Its petty passions, marriages, and flights,
Where Hymen’s torch but brands one strumpet more,
Whose husband only knows her not a wh—re.
Hard words; harsh truth; a truth which many know.
Enough.—The faithful and the fairy pair,
Who never found a single hour too slow,
What was it made them thus exempt from care?
Young innate feelings all have felt below,
Which perish in the rest, but in them were
Inherent—what we mortals call romantic,
And always envy, though we deem it frantic.
This is in others a factitious state,
An opium dream of too much youth and reading,
But was in them their nature or their fate:
No novels e’er had set their young hearts bleeding,
For Haidee’s knowledge was by no means great,
And Juan was a boy of saintly breeding;
So that there was no reason for their loves
More than for those of nightingales or doves.
They gazed upon the sunset; ’tis an hour
Dear unto all, but dearest to their eyes,
For it had made them what they were: the power
Of love had first o’erwhelm’d them from such skies,
When happiness had been their only dower,
And twilight saw them link’d in passion’s ties;
Charm’d with each other, all things charm’d that brought
The past still welcome as the present thought.
I know not why, but in that hour to-night,
Even as they gazed, a sudden tremor came,
And swept, as ’twere, across their hearts’ delight,
Like the wind o’er a harp-string, or a flame,
When one is shook in sound, and one in sight;
And thus some boding flash’d through either frame,
And call’d from Juan’s breast a faint low sigh,
While one new tear arose in Haidee’s eye.
That large black prophet eye seem’d to dilate
And follow far the disappearing sun,
As if their last day! of a happy date
With his broad, bright, and dropping orb were gone;
Juan gazed on her as to ask his fate—
He felt a grief, but knowing cause for none,
His glance inquired of hers for some excuse
For feelings causeless, or at least abstruse.
She turn’d to him, and smiled, but in that sort
Which makes not others smile; then turn’d aside:
Whatever feeling shook her, it seem’d short,
And master’d by her wisdom or her pride;
When Juan spoke, too—it might be in sport—
Of this their mutual feeling, she replied—
‘If it should be so,—but—it cannot be—
Or I at least shall not survive to see.’
Juan would question further, but she press’d
His lip to hers, and silenced him with this,
And then dismiss’d the omen from her breast,
Defying augury with that fond kiss;
And no doubt of all methods ’tis the best:
Some people prefer wine—’tis not amiss;
I have tried both; so those who would a part take
May choose between the headache and the heartache.
One of the two, according to your choice,
Woman or wine, you’ll have to undergo;
Both maladies are taxes on our joys:
But which to choose, I really hardly know;
And if I had to give a casting voice,
For both sides I could many reasons show,
And then decide, without great wrong to either,
It were much better to have both than neither.
Juan and Haidee gazed upon each other
With swimming looks of speechless tenderness,
Which mix’d all feelings, friend, child, lover, brother,
All that the best can mingle and express
When two pure hearts are pour’d in one another,
And love too much, and yet can not love less;
But almost sanctify the sweet excess
By the immortal wish and power to bless.
Mix’d in each other’s arms, and heart in heart,
Why did they not then die?—they had lived too long
Should an hour come to bid them breathe apart;
Years could but bring them cruel things or wrong;
The world was not for them, nor the world’s art
For beings passionate as Sappho’s song;
Love was born with them, in them, so intense,
It was their very spirit—not a sense.
They should have lived together deep in woods,
Unseen as sings the nightingale; they were
Unfit to mix in these thick solitudes
Call’d social, haunts of Hate, and Vice, and Care:
How lonely every freeborn creature broods!
The sweetest song-birds nestle in a pair;
The eagle soars alone; the gull and crow
Flock o’er their carrion, just like men below.
Now pillow’d cheek to cheek, in loving sleep,
Haidee and Juan their siesta took,
A gentle slumber, but it was not deep,
For ever and anon a something shook
Juan, and shuddering o’er his frame would creep;
And Haidee’s sweet lips murmur’d like a brook
A wordless music, and her face so fair
Stirr’d with her dream, as rose-leaves with the air.
Or as the stirring of a deep dear stream
Within an Alpine hollow, when the wind
Walks o’er it, was she shaken by the dream,
The mystical usurper of the mind—
O’erpowering us to be whate’er may seem
Good to the soul which we no more can bind;
Strange state of being! (for ’tis still to be)
Senseless to feel, and with seal’d eyes to see.
She dream’d of being alone on the sea-shore,
Chain’d to a rock; she knew not how, but stir
She could not from the spot, and the loud roar
Grew, and each wave rose roughly, threatening her;
And o’er her upper lip they seem’d to pour,
Until she sobb’d for breath, and soon they were
Foaming o’er her lone head, so fierce and high—
Each broke to drown her, yet she could not die.
Anon—she was released, and then she stray’d
O’er the sharp shingles with her bleeding feet,
And stumbled almost every step she made;
And something roll’d before her in a sheet,
Which she must still pursue howe’er afraid:
’Twas white and indistinct, nor stopp’d to meet
Her glance nor grasp, for still she gazed, and grasp’d,
And ran, but it escaped her as she clasp’d.
The dream changed:—in a cave she stood, its walls
Were hung with marble icicles, the work
Of ages on its water-fretted halls,
Where waves might wash, and seals might breed and lurk;
Her hair was dripping, and the very balls
Of her black eyes seem’d turn’d to tears, and mirk
The sharp rocks look’d below each drop they caught,
Which froze to marble as it fell,—she thought.
And wet, and cold, and lifeless at her feet,
Pale as the foam that froth’d on his dead brow,
Which she essay’d in vain to clear (how sweet
Were once her cares, how idle seem’d they now!),
Lay Juan, nor could aught renew the beat
Of his quench’d heart; and the sea dirges low
Rang in her sad ears like a mermaid’s song,
And that brief dream appear’d a life too long.
And gazing on the dead, she thought his face
Faded, or alter’d into something new—
Like to her father’s features, till each trace—
More like and like to Lambro’s aspect grew—
With all his keen worn look and Grecian grace;
And starting, she awoke, and what to view?
O! Powers of Heaven! what dark eye meets she there?
’Tis—’tis her father’s—fix’d upon the pair!
Then shrieking, she arose, and shrieking fell,
With joy and sorrow, hope and fear, to see
Him whom she deem’d a habitant where dwell
The ocean-buried, risen from death, to be
Perchance the death of one she loved too well:
Dear as her father had been to Haidee,
It was a moment of that awful kind—
I have seen such—but must not call to mind.
Up Juan sprung to Haidee’s bitter shriek,
And caught her falling, and from off the wall
Snatch’d down his sabre, in hot haste to wreak
Vengeance on him who was the cause of all:
Then Lambro, who till now forbore to speak,
Smiled scornfully, and said, ‘Within my call,
A thousand scimitars await the word;
Put up, young man, put up your silly sword.’
And Haidee clung around him; ‘Juan, ’tis—
’Tis Lambro—’tis my father! Kneel with me—
He will forgive us—yes—it must be—yes.
O! dearest father, in this agony
Of pleasure and of pain—even while I kiss
Thy garment’s hem with transport, can it be
That doubt should mingle with my filial joy?
Deal with me as thou wilt, but spare this boy.’
High and inscrutable the old man stood,
Calm in his voice, and calm within his eye—
Not always signs with him of calmest mood:
He look’d upon her, but gave no reply;
Then turn’d to Juan, in whose cheek the blood
Oft came and went, as there resolved to die;
In arms, at least, he stood, in act to spring
On the first foe whom Lambro’s call might bring.
‘Young man, your sword;’ so Lambro once more said:
Juan replied, ‘Not while this arm is free.’
The old man’s cheek grew pale, but not with dread,
And drawing from his belt a pistol, he
Replied, ‘Your blood be then on your own head.’
Then look’d dose at the flint, as if to see
’Twas fresh—for he had lately used the lock—
And next proceeded quietly to cock.
It has a strange quick jar upon the ear,
That cocking of a pistol, when you know
A moment more will bring the sight to bear
Upon your person, twelve yards off, or so;
A gentlemanly distance, not too near,
If you have got a former friend for foe;
But after being fired at once or twice,
The ear becomes more Irish, and less nice.
Lambro presented, and one instant more
Had stopp’d this Canto, and Don Juan’s breath,
When Haidee threw herself her boy before;
Stern as her sire: ‘On me,’ she cried, ‘let death
Descend—the fault is mine; this fatal shore
He found—but sought not. I have pledged my faith;
I love him—I will die with him: I knew
Your nature’s firmness—know your daughter’s too.’
A minute past, and she had been all tears,
And tenderness, and infancy; but now
She stood as one who champion’d human fears—
Pale, statue-like, and stern, she woo’d the blow;
And tall beyond her sex, and their compeers,
She drew up to her height, as if to show
A fairer mark; and with a fix’d eye scann’d
Her father’s face—but never stopp’d his hand.
He gazed on her, and she on him; ’twas strange
How like they look’d! the expression was the same;
Serenely savage, with a little change
In the large dark eye’s mutual-darted flame;
For she, too, was as one who could avenge,
If cause should be—a lioness, though tame.
Her father’s blood before her father’s face
Boil’d up, and proved her truly of his race.
I said they were alike, their features and
Their stature, differing but in sex and years;
Even to the delicacy of their hand
There was resemblance, such as true blood wears;
And now to see them, thus divided, stand
In fix’d ferocity, when joyous tears
And sweet sensations should have welcomed both,
Show what the passions are in their full growth.
The father paused a moment, then withdrew
His weapon, and replaced it; but stood still,
And looking on her, as to look her through,
‘Not I,’ he said, ‘have sought this stranger’s ill;
Not I have made this desolation: few
Would bear such outrage, and forbear to kill;
But I must do my duty—how thou hast
Done thine, the present vouches for the past.
‘Let him disarm; or, by my father’s head,
His own shall roll before you like a ball!’
He raised his whistle, as the word he said,
And blew; another answer’d to the call,
And rushing in disorderly, though led,
And arm’d from boot to turban, one and all,
Some twenty of his train came, rank on rank;
He gave the word,—‘Arrest or slay the Frank.’
Then, with a sudden movement, he withdrew
His daughter; while compress’d within his clasp,
’Twixt her and Juan interposed the crew;
In vain she struggled in her father’s grasp—
His arms were like a serpent’s coil: then flew
Upon their prey, as darts an angry asp,
The file of pirates; save the foremost, who
Had fallen, with his right shoulder half cut through.
The second had his cheek laid open; but
The third, a wary, cool old sworder, took
The blows upon his cutlass, and then put
His own well in; so well, ere you could look,
His man was floor’d, and helpless at his foot,
With the blood running like a little brook
From two smart sabre gashes, deep and red—
One on the arm, the other on the head.
And then they bound him where he fell, and bore
Juan from the apartment: with a sign
Old Lambro bade them take him to the shore,
Where lay some ships which were to sail at nine.
They laid him in a boat, and plied the oar
Until they reach’d some galliots, placed in line;
On board of one of these, and under hatches,
They stow’d him, with strict orders to the watches.
The world is full of strange vicissitudes,
And here was one exceedingly unpleasant:
A gentleman so rich in the world’s goods,
Handsome and young, enjoying all the present,
Just at the very time when he least broods
On such a thing is suddenly to sea sent,
Wounded and chain’d, so that he cannot move,
And all because a lady fell in love.
Here I must leave him, for I grow pathetic,
Moved by the Chinese nymph of tears, green tea!
Than whom Cassandra was not more prophetic;
For if my pure libations exceed three,
I feel my heart become so sympathetic,
That I must have recourse to black Bohea:
’Tis pity wine should be so deleterious,
For tea and coffee leave us much more serious,
Unless when qualified with thee, Cogniac!
Sweet Naiad of the Phlegethontic rill!
Ah! why the liver wilt thou thus attack,
And make, like other nymphs, thy lovers ill?
I would take refuge in weak punch, but rack
(In each sense of the word), whene’er I fill
My mild and midnight beakers to the brim,
Wakes me next morning with its synonym.
I leave Don Juan for the present, safe—
Not sound, poor fellow, but severely wounded;
Yet could his corporal pangs amount to half
Of those with which his Haidee’s bosom bounded?
She was not one to weep, and rave, and chafe,
And then give way, subdued because surrounded;
Her mother was a Moorish maid, from Fez,
Where all is Eden, or a wilderness.
There the large olive rains its amber store
In marble fonts; there grain, and flower, and fruit,
Gush from the earth until the land runs o’er;
But there, too, many a poison-tree has root,
And midnight listens to the lion’s roar,
And long, long deserts scorch the camel’s foot,
Or heaving whelm the helpless caravan;
And as the soil is, so the heart of man.
Afric is all the sun’s, and as her earth
Her human day is kindled; full of power
For good or evil, burning from its birth,
The Moorish blood partakes the planet’s hour,
And like the soil beneath it will bring forth:
Beauty and love were Haidee’s mother’s dower;
But her large dark eye show’d deep Passion’s force,
Though sleeping like a lion near a source.
Her daughter, temper’d with a milder ray,
Like summer clouds all silvery, smooth, and fair,
Till slowly charged with thunder they display
Terror to earth, and tempest to the air,
Had held till now her soft and milky way;
But overwrought with passion and despair,
The fire burst forth from her Numidian veins,
Even as the Simoom sweeps the blasted plains.
The last sight which she saw was Juan’s gore,
And he himself o’ermaster’d and cut down;
His blood was running on the very floor
Where late he trod, her beautiful, her own;
Thus much she view’d an instant and no more,—
Her struggles ceased with one convulsive groan;
On her sire’s arm, which until now scarce held
Her writhing, fell she like a cedar fell’d.
A vein had burst, and her sweet lips’ pure dyes
Were dabbled with the deep blood which ran o’er;
And her head droop’d as when the lily lies
O’ercharged with rain: her summon’d handmaids bore
Their lady to her couch with gushing eyes;
Of herbs and cordials they produced their store,
But she defied all means they could employ,
Like one life could not hold, nor death destroy.
Days lay she in that state unchanged, though chill—
With nothing livid, still her lips were red;
She had no pulse, but death seem’d absent still;
No hideous sign proclaim’d her surely dead;
Corruption came not in each mind to kill
All hope; to look upon her sweet face bred
New thoughts of life, for it seem’d full of soul—
She had so much, earth could not claim the whole.
The ruling passion, such as marble shows
When exquisitely chisell’d, still lay there,
But fix’d as marble’s unchanged aspect throws
O’er the fair Venus, but for ever fair;
O’er the Laocoon’s all eternal throes,
And ever-dying Gladiator’s air,
Their energy like life forms all their fame,
Yet looks not life, for they are still the same.
She woke at length, but not as sleepers wake,
Rather the dead, for life seem’d something new,
A strange sensation which she must partake
Perforce, since whatsoever met her view
Struck not on memory, though a heavy ache
Lay at her heart, whose earliest beat still true
Brought back the sense of pain without the cause,
For, for a while, the furies made a pause.
She look’d on many a face with vacant eye,
On many a token without knowing what;
She saw them watch her without asking why,
And reck’d not who around her pillow sat;
Not speechless, though she spoke not; not a sigh
Relieved her thoughts; dull silence and quick chat
Were tried in vain by those who served; she gave
No sign, save breath, of having left the grave.
Her handmaids tended, but she heeded not;
Her father watch’d, she turn’d her eyes away;
She recognized no being, and no spot,
However dear or cherish’d in their day;
They changed from room to room—but all forgot—
Gentle, but without memory she lay;
At length those eyes, which they would fain be weaning
Back to old thoughts, wax’d full of fearful meaning.
And then a slave bethought her of a harp;
The harper came, and tuned his instrument;
At the first notes, irregular and sharp,
On him her flashing eyes a moment bent,
Then to the wall she turn’d as if to warp
Her thoughts from sorrow through her heart re-sent;
And he begun a long low island song
Of ancient days, ere tyranny grew strong.
Anon her thin wan fingers beat the wall
In time to his old tune; he changed the theme,
And sung of love; the fierce name struck through all
Her recollection; on her flash’d the dream
Of what she was, and is, if ye could call
To be so being; in a gushing stream
The tears rush’d forth from her o’erclouded brain,
Like mountain mists at length dissolved in rain.
Short solace, vain relief!—thought came too quick,
And whirl’d her brain to madness; she arose
As one who ne’er had dwelt among the sick,
And flew at all she met, as on her foes;
But no one ever heard her speak or shriek,
Although her paroxysm drew towards its dose;—
Hers was a phrensy which disdain’d to rave,
Even when they smote her, in the hope to save.
Yet she betray’d at times a gleam of sense;
Nothing could make her meet her father’s face,
Though on all other things with looks intense
She gazed, but none she ever could retrace;
Food she refused, and raiment; no pretence
Avail’d for either; neither change of place,
Nor time, nor skill, nor remedy, could give her
Senses to sleep—the power seem’d gone for ever.
Twelve days and nights she wither’d thus; at last,
Without a groan, or sigh, or glance, to show
A parting pang, the spirit from her past:
And they who watch’d her nearest could not know
The very instant, till the change that cast
Her sweet face into shadow, dull and slow,
Glazed o’er her eyes—the beautiful, the black—
O! to possess such lustre—and then lack!
She died, but not alone; she held within
A second principle of life, which might
Have dawn’d a fair and sinless child of sin;
But closed its little being without light,
And went down to the grave unborn, wherein
Blossom and bough lie wither’d with one blight;
In vain the dews of Heaven descend above
The bleeding flower and blasted fruit of love.
Thus lived—thus died she; never more on her
Shall sorrow light, or shame. She was not made
Through years or moons the inner weight to bear,
Which colder hearts endure till they are laid
By age in earth: her days and pleasures were
Brief, but delightful—such as had not staid
Long with her destiny; but she sleeps well
By the sea-shore, whereon she loved to dwell.
That isle is now all desolate and bare,
Its dwellings down, its tenants pass’d away;
None but her own and father’s grave is there,
And nothing outward tells of human clay;
Ye could not know where lies a thing so fair,
No stone is there to show, no tongue to say
What was; no dirge, except the hollow sea’s,
Mourns o’er the beauty of the Cyclades.
But many a Greek maid in a loving song
Sighs o’er her name; and many an islander
With her sire’s story makes the night less long;
Valour was his, and beauty dwelt with her:
If she loved rashly, her life paid for wrong—
A heavy price must all pay who thus err,
In some shape; let none think to fly the danger,
For soon or late Love is his own avenger.
But let me change this theme which grows too sad,
And lay this sheet of sorrows on the shelf;
I don’t much like describing people mad,
For fear of seeming rather touch’d myself—
Besides, I’ve no more on this head to add;
And as my Muse is a capricious elf,
We’ll put about, and try another tack
With Juan, left half-kill’d some stanzas back.
Wounded and fetter’d, ‘cabin’d, cribb’d, confined,’
Some days and nights elapsed before that he
Could altogether call the past to mind;
And when he did, he found himself at sea,
Sailing six knots an hour before the wind;
The shores of Ilion lay beneath their lee—
Another time he might have liked to see ’em,
But now was not much pleased with Cape Sigaeum.
There, on the green and village-cotted hill, is
(Flank’d by the Hellespont and by the sea)
Entomb’d the bravest of the brave, Achilles;
They say so (Bryant says the contrary):
And further downward, tall and towering still, is
The tumulus—of whom? Heaven knows! ’t may be
Patroclus, Ajax, or Protesilaus—
All heroes, who if living still would slay us.
High barrows, without marble or a name,
A vast, untill’d, and mountain-skirted plain,
And Ida in the distance, still the same,
And old Scamander (if ’tis he) remain;
The situation seems still form’d for fame—
A hundred thousand men might fight again
With case; but where I sought for Ilion’s walls,
The quiet sheep feeds, and the tortoise crawls;
Troops of untended horses; here and there
Some little hamlets, with new names uncouth;
Some shepherds (unlike Paris) led to stare
A moment at the European youth
Whom to the spot their school-boy feelings bear;
A turk, with beads in hand and pipe in mouth,
Extremely taken with his own religion,
Are what I found there—but the devil a Phrygian.
Don Juan, here permitted to emerge
From his dull cabin, found himself a slave;
Forlorn, and gazing on the deep blue surge,
O’ershadow’d there by many a hero’s grave;
Weak still with loss of blood, he scarce could urge
A few brief questions; and the answers gave
No very satisfactory information
About his past or present situation.
He saw some fellow captives, who appear’d
To be Italians, as they were in fact;
From them, at least, their destiny he heard,
Which was an odd one; a troop going to act
In Sicily (all singers, duly rear’d
In their vocation) had not been attack’d
In sailing from Livorno by the pirate,
But sold by the impresario at no high rate.
By one of these, the buffo of the party,
Juan was told about their curious case;
For although destined to the Turkish mart, he
Still kept his spirits up—at least his face;
The little fellow really look’d quite hearty,
And bore him with some gaiety and grace,
Showing a much more reconciled demeanour,
Than did the prima donna and the tenor.
In a few words he told their hapless story,
Saying, ‘Our Machiavellian impresario,
Making a signal off some promontory,
Hail’d a strange brig—Corpo di Caio Mario!
We were transferr’d on board her in a hurry,
Without a Single scudo of salario;
But if the Sultan has a taste for song,
We will revive our fortunes before long.
‘The prima donna, though a little old,
And haggard with a dissipated life,
And subject, when the house is thin, to cold,
Has some good notes; and then the tenor’s wife,
With no great voice, is pleasing to behold;
Last carnival she made a deal of strife
By carrying off Count Cesare Cicogna
From an old Roman princess at Bologna.
‘And then there are the dancers; there’s the Nini,
With more than one profession, gains by all;
Then there’s that laughing slut the Pelegrini,
She, too, was fortunate last carnival,
And made at least five hundred good zecchini,
But spends so fast, she has not now a paul;
And then there’s the Grotesca—such a dancer!
Where men have souls or bodies she must answer.
‘As for the figuranti, they are like
The rest of all that tribe; with here and there
A pretty person, which perhaps may strike,
The rest are hardly fitted for a fair;
There’s one, though tall and stiffer than a pike,
Yet has a sentimental kind of air
Which might go far, but she don’t dance with vigour;
The more ’s the pity, with her face and figure.
‘As for the men, they are a middling set;
The musico is but a crack’d old basin,
But being qualified in one way yet,
May the seraglio do to set his face in,
And as a servant some preferment get;
His singing I no further trust can place in:
From all the Pope makes yearly ’twould perplex
To find three perfect pipes of the third sex.
‘The tenor’s voice is spoilt by affectation,
And for the bass, the beast can only bellow;
In fact, he had no singing education,
An ignorant, noteless, timeless, tuneless fellow;
But being the prima donna’s near relation,
Who swore his voice was very rich and mellow,
They hired him, though to hear him you’d believe
An ass was practising recitative.
‘’Twould not become myself to dwell upon
My own merits, and though young—I see, Sir—you
Have got a travell’d air, which speaks you one
To whom the opera is by no means new:
You’ve heard of Raucocanti?—I’m the man;
The time may come when you may hear me too;
You was not last year at the fair of Lugo,
But next, when I’m engaged to sing there—do go.
‘Our baritone I almost had forgot,
A pretty lad, but bursting with conceit;
With graceful action, science not a jot,
A voice of no great compass, and not sweet,
He always is complaining of his lot,
Forsooth, scarce fit for ballads in the street;
In lovers’ parts his passion more to breathe,
Having no heart to show, he shows his teeth.’
Here Raucocanti’s eloquent recital
Was interrupted by the pirate crew,
Who came at stated moments to invite all
The captives back to their sad berths; each threw
A rueful glance upon the waves (which bright all
From the blue skies derived a double blue,
Dancing all free and happy in the sun),
And then went down the hatchway one by one.
They heard next day—that in the Dardanelles,
Waiting for his Sublimity’s firman,
The most imperative of sovereign spells,
Which every body does without who can,
More to secure them in their naval cells,
Lady to lady, well as man to man,
Were to be chain’d and lotted out per couple,
For the slave market of Constantinople.
It seems when this allotment was made out,
There chanced to be an odd male, and odd female,
Who (after some discussion and some doubt,
If the soprano might be deem’d to be male,
They placed him o’er the women as a scout)
Were link’d together, and it happen’d the male
Was Juan,—who, an awkward thing at his age,
Pair’d off with a Bacchante blooming visage.
With Raucocanti lucklessly was chain’d
The tenor; these two hated with a hate
Found only on the stage, and each more pain’d
With this his tuneful neighbour than his fate;
Sad strife arose, for they were so cross-grain’d,
Instead of bearing up without debate,
That each pull’d different ways with many an oath,
‘Arcades ambo,’ id est—blackguards both.
Juan’s companion was a Romagnole,
But bred within the March of old Ancona,
With eyes that look’d into the very soul
(And other chief points of a ‘bella donna’),
Bright—and as black and burning as a coal;
And through her dear brunette complexion shone
Great wish to please—a most attractive dower,
Especially when added to the power.
But all that power was wasted upon him,
For sorrow o’er each sense held stern command;
Her eye might flash on his, but found it dim;
And though thus chain’d, as natural her hand
Touch’d his, nor that—nor any handsome limb
(And she had some not easy to withstand)
Could stir his pulse, or make his faith feel brittle;
Perhaps his recent wounds might help a little.
No matter; we should ne’er too much enquire,
But facts are facts: no knight could be more true,
And firmer faith no ladye—love desire;
We will omit the proofs, save one or two:
’Tis said no one in hand ‘can hold a fire
By thought of frosty Caucasus;’ but few,
I really think; yet Juan’s then ordeal
Was more triumphant, and not much less real.
Here I might enter on a chaste description,
Having withstood temptation in my youth,
But hear that several people take exception
At the first two books having too much truth;
Therefore I’ll make Don Juan leave the ship soon,
Because the publisher declares, in sooth,
Through needles’ eyes it easier for the camel is
To pass, than those two cantos into families.
’Tis all the same to me; I’m fond of yielding,
And therefore leave them to the purer page
Of Smollett, Prior, Ariosto, Fielding,
Who say strange things for so correct an age;
I once had great alacrity in wielding
My pen, and liked poetic war to wage,
And recollect the time when all this cant
Would have provoked remarks which now it shan’t.
As boys love rows, my boyhood liked a squabble;
But at this hour I wish to part in peace,
Leaving such to the literary rabble:
Whether my verse’s fame be doom’d to cease
While the right hand which wrote it still is able,
Or of some centuries to take a lease,
The grass upon my grave will grow as long,
And sigh to midnight winds, but not to song.
Of poets who come down to us through distance
Of time and tongues, the foster-babes of Fame,
Life seems the smallest portion of existence;
Where twenty ages gather o’er a name,
’Tis as a snowball which derives assistance
From every flake, and yet rolls on the same,
Even till an iceberg it may chance to grow;
But, after all, ’tis nothing but cold snow.
And so great names are nothing more than nominal,
And love of glory ’s but an airy lust,
Too often in its fury overcoming all
Who would as ’twere identify their dust
From out the wide destruction, which, entombing all,
Leaves nothing till ‘the coming of the just’-
Save change: I’ve stood upon Achilles’ tomb,
And heard Troy doubted; time will doubt of Rome.
The very generations of the dead
Are swept away, and tomb inherits tomb,
Until the memory of an age is fled,
And, buried, sinks beneath its offspring’s doom:
Where are the epitaphs our fathers read?
Save a few glean’d from the sepulchral gloom
Which once-named myriads nameless lie beneath,
And lose their own in universal death.
I canter by the spot each afternoon
Where perish’d in his fame the hero-boy,
Who lived too long for men, but died too soon
For human vanity, the young De Foix!
A broken pillar, not uncouthly hewn,
But which neglect is hastening to destroy,
Records Ravenna’s carnage on its face,
While weeds and ordure rankle round the base.
I pass each day where Dante’s bones are laid:
A little cupola, more neat than solemn,
Protects his dust, but reverence here is paid
To the bard’s tomb, and not the warrior’s column.
The time must come, when both alike decay’d,
The chieftain’s trophy, and the poet’s volume,
Will sink where lie the songs and wars of earth,
Before Pelides’ death, or Homer’s birth.
With human blood that column was cemented,
With human filth that column is defiled,
As if the peasant’s coarse contempt were vented
To show his loathing of the spot he soil’d:
Thus is the trophy used, and thus lamented
Should ever be those blood-hounds, from whose wild
Instinct of gore and glory earth has known
Those sufferings Dante saw in hell alone.
Yet there will still be bards: though fame is smoke,
Its fumes are frankincense to human thought;
And the unquiet feelings, which first woke
Song in the world, will seek what then they sought;
As on the beach the waves at last are broke,
Thus to their extreme verge the passions brought
Dash into poetry, which is but passion,
Or at least was so ere it grew a fashion.
If in the course of such a life as was
At once adventurous and contemplative,
Men, who partake all passions as they pass,
Acquire the deep and bitter power to give
Their images again as in a glass,
And in such colours that they seem to live;
You may do right forbidding them to show ’em,
But spoil (I think) a very pretty poem.
O! ye, who make the fortunes of all books!
Benign Ceruleans of the second sex!
Who advertise new poems by your looks,
Your ‘imprimatur’ will ye not annex?
What! must I go to the oblivious cooks,
Those Cornish plunderers of Parnassian wrecks?
Ah! must I then the only minstrel be,
Proscribed from tasting your Castalian tea!
What! can I prove ‘a lion’ then no more?
A ball-room bard, a foolscap, hot-press darling?
To bear the compliments of many a bore,
And sigh, ‘I can’t get out,’ like Yorick’s starling;
Why then I’ll swear, as poet Wordy swore
(Because the world won’t read him, always snarling),
That taste is gone, that fame is but a lottery,
Drawn by the blue-coat misses of a coterie.
O! ‘darkly, deeply, beautifully blue,’
As some one somewhere sings about the sky,
And I, ye learned ladies, say of you;
They say your stockings are so (Heaven knows why,
I have examined few pair of that hue);
Blue as the garters which serenely lie
Round the Patrician left-legs, which adorn
The festal midnight, and the levee morn.
Yet some of you are most seraphic creatures—
But times are alter’d since, a rhyming lover,
You read my stanzas, and I read your features:
And—but no matter, all those things are over;
Still I have no dislike to learned natures,
For sometimes such a world of virtues cover;
I knew one woman of that purple school,
The loveliest, chastest, best, but—quite a fool.
Humboldt, ‘the first of travellers,’ but not
The last, if late accounts be accurate,
Invented, by some name I have forgot,
As well as the sublime discovery’s date,
An airy instrument, with which he sought
To ascertain the atmospheric state,
By measuring ‘the intensity of blue:’
O, Lady Daphne! let me measure you!
But to the narrative:—The vessel bound
With slaves to sell off in the capital,
After the usual process, might be found
At anchor under the seraglio wall;
Her cargo, from the plague being safe and sound,
Were landed in the market, one and all,
And there with Georgians, Russians, and Circassians,
Bought up for different purposes and passions.
Some went off dearly; fifteen hundred dollars
For one Circassian, a sweet girl, were given,
Warranted virgin; beauty’s brightest colours
Had deck’d her out in all the hues of heaven:
Her sale sent home some disappointed bawlers,
Who bade on till the hundreds reach’d eleven;
But when the offer went beyond, they knew
’Twas for the Sultan, and at once withdrew.
Twelve negresses from Nubia brought a price
Which the West Indian market scarce would bring;
Though Wilberforce, at last, has made it twice
What ’twas ere Abolition; and the thing
Need not seem very wonderful, for vice
Is always much more splendid than a king:
The virtues, even the most exalted, Charity,
Are saving—vice spares nothing for a rarity.
But for the destiny of this young troop,
How some were bought by pachas, some by Jews,
How some to burdens were obliged to stoop,
And others rose to the command of crews
As renegadoes; while in hapless group,
Hoping no very old vizier might choose,
The females stood, as one by one they pick’d ’em,
To make a mistress, or fourth wife, or victim:
All this must be reserved for further song;
Also our hero’s lot, howe’er unpleasant
(Because this Canto has become too long),
Must be postponed discreetly for the present;
I’m sensible redundancy is wrong,
But could not for the muse of me put less in ’t:
And now delay the progress of Don Juan,
Till what is call’d in Ossian the fifth duan.

CANTO THE FIFTH.

When amatory poets sing their loves
In liquid lines mellifluously bland,
And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves,
They little think what mischief is in hand;
The greater their success the worse it proves,
As Ovid’s verse may give to understand;
Even Petrarch’s self, if judged with due severity,
Is the Platonic pimp of all posterity.
I therefore do denounce all amorous writing,
Except in such a way as not to attract;
Plain—simple—short, and by no means inviting,
But with a moral to each error tack’d,
Form’d rather for instructing than delighting,
And with all passions in their turn attack’d;
Now, if my Pegasus should not be shod ill,
This poem will become a moral model.
The European with the Asian shore
Sprinkled with palaces; the ocean stream
Here and there studded with a seventy-four;
Sophia’s cupola with golden gleam;
The cypress groves; Olympus high and hoar;
The twelve isles, and the more than I could dream,
Far less describe, present the very view
Which charm’d the charming Mary Montagu.
I have a passion for the name of ‘Mary,’
For once it was a magic sound to me;
And still it half calls up the realms of fairy,
Where I beheld what never was to be;
All feelings changed, but this was last to vary,
A spell from which even yet I am not quite free:
But I grow sad—and let a tale grow cold,
Which must not be pathetically told.
The wind swept down the Euxine, and the wave
Broke foaming o’er the blue Symplegades;
’Tis a grand sight from off ‘the Giant’s Grave
To watch the progress of those rolling seas
Between the Bosphorus, as they lash and lave
Europe and Asia, you being quite at ease;
There’s not a sea the passenger e’er pukes in,
Turns up more dangerous breakers than the Euxine.
’Twas a raw day of Autumn’s bleak beginning,
When nights are equal, but not so the days;
The Parcae then cut short the further spinning
Of seamen’s fates, and the loud tempests raise
The waters, and repentance for past sinning
In all, who o’er the great deep take their ways:
They vow to amend their lives, and yet they don’t;
Because if drown’d, they can’t—if spared, they won’t.
A crowd of shivering slaves of every nation,
And age, and sex, were in the market ranged;
Each bevy with the merchant in his station:
Poor creatures! their good looks were sadly changed.
All save the blacks seem’d jaded with vexation,
From friends, and home, and freedom far estranged;
The negroes more philosophy display’d,—
Used to it, no doubt, as eels are to be flay’d.
Juan was juvenile, and thus was full,
As most at his age are, of hope and health;
Yet I must own he looked a little dull,
And now and then a tear stole down by stealth;
Perhaps his recent loss of blood might pull
His spirit down; and then the loss of wealth,
A mistress, and such comfortable quarters,
To be put up for auction amongst Tartars,
Were things to shake a stoic; ne’ertheless,
Upon the whole his carriage was serene:
His figure, and the splendour of his dress,
Of which some gilded remnants still were seen,
Drew all eyes on him, giving them to guess
He was above the vulgar by his mien;
And then, though pale, he was so very handsome;
And then—they calculated on his ransom.
Like a backgammon board the place was dotted
With whites and blacks, in groups on show for sale,
Though rather more irregularly spotted:
Some bought the jet, while others chose the pale.
It chanced amongst the other people lotted,
A man of thirty rather stout and hale,
With resolution in his dark grey eye,
Next Juan stood, till some might choose to buy.
He had an English look; that is, was square
In make, of a complexion white and ruddy,
Good teeth, with curling rather dark brown hair,
And, it might be from thought or toil or study,
An open brow a little mark’d with care:
One arm had on a bandage rather bloody;
And there he stood with such sang-froid, that greater
Could scarce be shown even by a mere spectator.
But seeing at his elbow a mere lad,
Of a high spirit evidently, though
At present weigh’d down by a doom which had
O’erthrown even men, he soon began to show
A kind of blunt compassion for the sad
Lot of so young a partner in the woe,
Which for himself he seem’d to deem no worse
Than any other scrape, a thing of course.
‘My boy!’ said he, ‘amidst this motley crew
Of Georgians, Russians, Nubians, and what not,
All ragamuffins differing but in hue,
With whom it is our luck to cast our lot,
The only gentlemen seem I and you;
So let us be acquainted, as we ought:
If I could yield you any consolation,
’Twould give me pleasure.—Pray, what is your nation?’
When Juan answer’d—‘Spanish!’ he replied,
‘I thought, in fact, you could not be a Greek;
Those servile dogs are not so proudly eyed:
Fortune has play’d you here a pretty freak,
But that ’s her way with all men, till they’re tried;
But never mind,—she’ll turn, perhaps, next week;
She has served me also much the same as you,
Except that I have found it nothing new.’
‘Pray, sir,’ said Juan, ‘if I may presume,
What brought you here?’—‘Oh! nothing very rare—
Six Tartars and a drag-chain.’—‘To this doom
But what conducted, if the question’s fair,
Is that which I would learn.’—‘I served for some
Months with the Russian army here and there,
And taking lately, by Suwarrow’s bidding,
A town, was ta’en myself instead of Widdin.’
‘Have you no friends?’—‘I had—but, by God’s blessing,
Have not been troubled with them lately. Now
I have answer’d all your questions without pressing,
And you an equal courtesy should show.’
‘Alas!’ said Juan, ‘’twere a tale distressing,
And long besides.’—‘Oh! if ’tis really so,
You’re right on both accounts to hold your tongue;
A sad tale saddens doubly, when ’tis long.
‘But droop not: Fortune at your time of life,
Although a female moderately fickle,
Will hardly leave you (as she ’s not your wife)
For any length of days in such a pickle.
To strive, too, with our fate were such a strife
As if the corn-sheaf should oppose the sickle:
Men are the sport of circumstances, when
The circumstances seem the sport of men.’
‘’Tis not,’ said Juan, ‘for my present doom
I mourn, but for the past;—I loved a maid:’-
He paused, and his dark eye grew full of gloom;
A single tear upon his eyelash staid
A moment, and then dropp’d; ‘but to resume,
’Tis not my present lot, as I have said,
Which I deplore so much; for I have borne
Hardships which have the hardiest overworn,
‘On the rough deep. But this last blow-’ and here
He stopp’d again, and turn’d away his face.
‘Ay,’ quoth his friend, ‘I thought it would appear
That there had been a lady in the case;
And these are things which ask a tender tear,
Such as I, too, would shed if in your place:
I cried upon my first wife’s dying day,
And also when my second ran away:
‘My third-’—‘Your third!’ quoth Juan, turning round;
‘You scarcely can be thirty: have you three?’
‘No—only two at present above ground:
Surely ’tis nothing wonderful to see
One person thrice in holy wedlock bound!’
‘Well, then, your third,’ said Juan; ‘what did she?
She did not run away, too,—did she, sir?’
‘No, faith.’—‘What then?’—‘I ran away from her.’
‘You take things coolly, sir,’ said Juan. ‘Why,’
Replied the other, ‘what can a man do?
There still are many rainbows in your sky,
But mine have vanish’d. All, when life is new,
Commence with feelings warm, and prospects high;
But time strips our illusions of their hue,
And one by one in turn, some grand mistake
Casts off its bright skin yearly like the snake.
‘’Tis true, it gets another bright and fresh,
Or fresher, brighter; but the year gone through,
This skin must go the way, too, of all flesh,
Or sometimes only wear a week or two;—
Love ’s the first net which spreads its deadly mesh;
Ambition, Avarice, Vengeance, Glory, glue
The glittering lime-twigs of our latter days,
Where still we flutter on for pence or praise.’
‘All this is very fine, and may be true,’
Said Juan; ‘but I really don’t see how
It betters present times with me or you.’
‘No?’ quoth the other; ‘yet you will allow
By setting things in their right point of view,
Knowledge, at least, is gain’d; for instance, now,
We know what slavery is, and our disasters
May teach us better to behave when masters.’
‘Would we were masters now, if but to try
Their present lessons on our Pagan friends here,’
Said Juan,—swallowing a heart-burning sigh:
‘Heaven help the scholar whom his fortune sends here!’
‘Perhaps we shall be one day, by and by,’
Rejoin’d the other, when our bad luck mends here;
Meantime (yon old black eunuch seems to eye us)
I wish to God that somebody would buy us!
‘But after all, what is our present state?
’Tis bad, and may be better—all men’s lot:
Most men are slaves, none more so than the great,
To their own whims and passions, and what not;
Society itself, which should create
Kindness, destroys what little we had got:
To feel for none is the true social art
Of the world’s stoics—men without a heart.’
Just now a black old neutral personage
Of the third sex stept up, and peering over
The captives, seem’d to mark their looks and age,
And capabilities, as to discover
If they were fitted for the purposed cage:
No lady e’er is ogled by a lover,
Horse by a blackleg, broadcloth by a tailor,
Fee by a counsel, felon by a jailor,
As is a slave by his intended bidder.
’Tis pleasant purchasing our fellow-creatures;
And all are to be sold, if you consider
Their passions, and are dext’rous; some by features
Are bought up, others by a warlike leader,
Some by a place—as tend their years or natures;
The most by ready cash—but all have prices,
From crowns to kicks, according to their vices.
The eunuch, having eyed them o’er with care,
Turn’d to the merchant, and begun to bid
First but for one, and after for the pair;
They haggled, wrangled, swore, too—so they did!
As though they were in a mere Christian fair
Cheapening an ox, an ass, a lamb, or kid;
So that their bargain sounded like a battle
For this superior yoke of human cattle.
At last they settled into simple grumbling,
And pulling out reluctant purses, and
Turning each piece of silver o’er, and tumbling
Some down, and weighing others in their hand,
And by mistake sequins with paras jumbling,
Until the sum was accurately scann’d,
And then the merchant giving change, and signing
Receipts in full, began to think of dining.
I wonder if his appetite was good?
Or, if it were, if also his digestion?
Methinks at meals some odd thoughts might intrude,
And conscience ask a curious sort of question,
About the right divine how far we should
Sell flesh and blood. When dinner has opprest one,
I think it is perhaps the gloomiest hour
Which turns up out of the sad twenty-four.
Voltaire says ‘No:’ he tells you that Candide
Found life most tolerable after meals;
He ’s wrong—unless man were a pig, indeed,
Repletion rather adds to what he feels,
Unless he ’s drunk, and then no doubt he ’s freed
From his own brain’s oppression while it reels.
Of food I think with Philip’s son, or rather
Ammon’s (ill pleased with one world and one father);
I think with Alexander, that the act
Of eating, with another act or two,
Makes us feel our mortality in fact
Redoubled; when a roast and a ragout,
And fish, and soup, by some side dishes back’d,
Can give us either pain or pleasure, who
Would pique himself on intellects, whose use
Depends so much upon the gastric juice?
The other evening (’twas on Friday last)—
This is a fact and no poetic fable—
Just as my great coat was about me cast,
My hat and gloves still lying on the table,
I heard a shot—’twas eight o’clock scarce past—
And, running out as fast as I was able,
I found the military commandant
Stretch’d in the street, and able scarce to pant.
Poor fellow! for some reason, surely bad,
They had slain him with five slugs; and left him there
To perish on the pavement: so I had
Him borne into the house and up the stair,
And stripp’d and look’d to—But why should I ad
More circumstances? vain was every care;
The man was gone: in some Italian quarrel
Kill’d by five bullets from an old gun-barrel.
I gazed upon him, for I knew him well;
And though I have seen many corpses, never
Saw one, whom such an accident befell,
So calm; though pierced through stomach, heart, and liver,
He seem’d to sleep,—for you could scarcely tell
(As he bled inwardly, no hideous river
Of gore divulged the cause) that he was dead:
So as I gazed on him, I thought or said—
‘Can this be death? then what is life or death?
Speak!’ but he spoke not: ‘Wake!’ but still he slept:—
‘But yesterday and who had mightier breath?
A thousand warriors by his word were kept
In awe: he said, as the centurion saith,
“Go,” and he goeth; “come,” and forth he stepp’d.
The trump and bugle till he spake were dumb—
And now nought left him but the muffled drum.’
And they who waited once and worshipp’d—they
With their rough faces throng’d about the bed
To gaze once more on the commanding clay
Which for the last, though not the first, time bled:
And such an end! that he who many a day
Had faced Napoleon’s foes until they fled,—
The foremost in the charge or in the sally,
Should now be butcher’d in a civic alley.
The scars of his old wounds were near his new,
Those honourable scars which brought him fame;
And horrid was the contrast to the view—
But let me quit the theme; as such things claim
Perhaps even more attention than is due
From me: I gazed (as oft I have gazed the same)
To try if I could wrench aught out of death
Which should confirm, or shake, or make a faith;
But it was all a mystery. Here we are,
And there we go:—but where? five bits of lead,
Or three, or two, or one, send very far!
And is this blood, then, form’d but to be shed?
Can every element our elements mar?
And air—earth—water—fire live—and we dead?
We whose minds comprehend all things? No more;
But let us to the story as before.
The purchaser of Juan and acquaintance
Bore off his bargains to a gilded boat,
Embark’d himself and them, and off they went thence
As fast as oars could pull and water float;
They look’d like persons being led to sentence,
Wondering what next, till the caique was brought
Up in a little creek below a wall
O’ertopp’d with cypresses, dark-green and tall.
Here their conductor tapping at the wicket
Of a small iron door, ’twas open’d, and
He led them onward, first through a low thicket
Flank’d by large groves, which tower’d on either hand:
They almost lost their way, and had to pick it—
For night was closing ere they came to land.
The eunuch made a sign to those on board,
Who row’d off, leaving them without a word.
As they were plodding on their winding way
Through orange bowers, and jasmine, and so forth
(Of which I might have a good deal to say,
There being no such profusion in the North
Of oriental plants, ‘et cetera,’
But that of late your scribblers think it worth
Their while to rear whole hotbeds in their works
Because one poet travell’d ’mongst the Turks)—
As they were threading on their way, there came
Into Don Juan’s head a thought, which he
Whisper’d to his companion:—’twas the same
Which might have then occurr’d to you or me.
‘Methinks,’ said he, ‘it would be no great shame
If we should strike a stroke to set us free;
Let ’s knock that old black fellow on the head,
And march away—’twere easier done than said.’
‘Yes,’ said the other, ‘and when done, what then?
How get out? how the devil got we in?
And when we once were fairly out, and when
From Saint Bartholomew we have saved our skin,
To-morrow ’d see us in some other den,
And worse off than we hitherto have been;
Besides, I’m hungry, and just now would take,
Like Esau, for my birthright a beef-steak.
‘We must be near some place of man’s abode;—
For the old negro’s confidence in creeping,
With his two captives, by so queer a road,
Shows that he thinks his friends have not been sleeping;
A single cry would bring them all abroad:
’Tis therefore better looking before leaping—
And there, you see, this turn has brought us through,
By Jove, a noble palace!—lighted too.’
It was indeed a wide extensive building
Which open’d on their view, and o’er the front
There seem’d to be besprent a deal of gilding
And various hues, as is the Turkish wont,—
A gaudy taste; for they are little skill’d in
The arts of which these lands were once the font:
Each villa on the Bosphorus looks a screen
New painted, or a pretty opera-scene.
And nearer as they came, a genial savour
Of certain stews, and roast-meats, and pilaus,
Things which in hungry mortals’ eyes find favour,
Made Juan in his harsh intentions pause,
And put himself upon his good behaviour:
His friend, too, adding a new saving clause,
Said, ‘In Heaven’s name let’s get some supper now,
And then I’m with you, if you’re for a row.’
Some talk of an appeal unto some passion,
Some to men’s feelings, others to their reason;
The last of these was never much the fashion,
For reason thinks all reasoning out of season.
Some speakers whine, and others lay the lash on,
But more or less continue still to tease on,
With arguments according to their ‘forte;’
But no one dreams of ever being short.-
But I digress: of all appeals,—although
I grant the power of pathos, and of gold,
Of beauty, flattery, threats, a shilling,—no
Method ’s more sure at moments to take hold
Of the best feelings of mankind, which grow
More tender, as we every day behold,
Than that all-softening, overpowering knell,
The tocsin of the soul—the dinner-bell.
Turkey contains no bells, and yet men dine;
And Juan and his friend, albeit they heard
No Christian knoll to table, saw no line
Of lackeys usher to the feast prepared,
Yet smelt roast-meat, beheld a huge fire shine,
And cooks in motion with their clean arms bared,
And gazed around them to the left and right
With the prophetic eye of appetite.
And giving up all notions of resistance,
They follow’d close behind their sable guide,
Who little thought that his own crack’d existence
Was on the point of being set aside:
He motion’d them to stop at some small distance,
And knocking at the gate, ’twas open’d wide,
And a magnificent large hall display’d
The Asian pomp of Ottoman parade.
I won’t describe; description is my forte,
But every fool describes in these bright days
His wondrous journey to some foreign court,
And spawns his quarto, and demands your praise—
Death to his publisher, to him ’tis sport;
While Nature, tortured twenty thousand ways,
Resigns herself with exemplary patience
To guide-books, rhymes, tours, sketches, illustrations.
Along this hall, and up and down, some, squatted
Upon their hams, were occupied at chess;
Others in monosyllable talk chatted,
And some seem’d much in love with their own dress.
And divers smoked superb pipes decorated
With amber mouths of greater price or less;
And several strutted, others slept, and some
Prepared for supper with a glass of rum.
As the black eunuch enter’d with his brace
Of purchased Infidels, some raised their eyes
A moment without slackening from their pace;
But those who sate ne’er stirr’d in anywise:
One or two stared the captives in the face,
Just as one views a horse to guess his price;
Some nodded to the negro from their station,
But no one troubled him with conversation.
He leads them through the hall, and, without stopping,
On through a farther range of goodly rooms,
Splendid but silent, save in one, where, dropping,
A marble fountain echoes through the glooms
Of night which robe the chamber, or where popping
Some female head most curiously presumes
To thrust its black eyes through the door or lattice,
As wondering what the devil a noise that is.
Some faint lamps gleaming from the lofty walls
Gave light enough to hint their farther way,
But not enough to show the imperial halls,
In all the flashing of their full array;
Perhaps there’s nothing—I’ll not say appals,
But saddens more by night as well as day,
Than an enormous room without a soul
To break the lifeless splendour of the whole.
Two or three seem so little, one seems nothing:
In deserts, forests, crowds, or by the shore,
There solitude, we know, has her full growth in
The spots which were her realms for evermore;
But in a mighty hall or gallery, both in
More modern buildings and those built of yore,
A kind of death comes o’er us all alone,
Seeing what ’s meant for many with but one.
A neat, snug study on a winter’s night,
A book, friend, single lady, or a glass
Of claret, sandwich, and an appetite,
Are things which make an English evening pass;
Though certes by no means so grand a sight
As is a theatre lit up by gas.
I pass my evenings in long galleries solely,
And that ’s the reason I’m so melancholy.
Alas! man makes that great which makes him little:
I grant you in a church ’tis very well:
What speaks of Heaven should by no means be brittle,
But strong and lasting, till no tongue can tell
Their names who rear’d it; but huge houses fit ill—
And huge tombs worse—mankind, since Adam fell:
Methinks the story of the tower of Babel
Might teach them this much better than I’m able.
Babel was Nimrod’s hunting-box, and then
A town of gardens, walls, and wealth amazing,
Where Nabuchadonosor, king of men,
Reign’d, till one summer’s day he took to grazing,
And Daniel tamed the lions in their den,
The people’s awe and admiration raising;
’Twas famous, too, for Thisbe and for Pyramus,
And the calumniated queen Semiramis.
That injured Queen by chroniclers so coarse
Has been accused (I doubt not by conspiracy)
Of an improper friendship for her horse
(Love, like religion, sometimes runs to heresy):
This monstrous tale had probably its source
(For such exaggerations here and there I see)
In writing ‘Courser’ by mistake for ‘Courier:’
I wish the case could come before a jury here.
But to resume,—should there be (what may not
Be in these days?) some infidels, who don’t,
Because they can’t find out the very spot
Of that same Babel, or because they won’t
(Though Claudius Rich, Esquire, some bricks has got,
And written lately two memoirs upon’t),
Believe the Jews, those unbelievers, who
Must be believed, though they believe not you,
Yet let them think that Horace has exprest
Shortly and sweetly the masonic folly
Of those, forgetting the great place of rest,
Who give themselves to architecture wholly;
We know where things and men must end at best:
A moral (like all morals) melancholy,
And ‘Et sepulchri immemor struis domos’
Shows that we build when we should but entomb us.
At last they reach’d a quarter most retired,
Where echo woke as if from a long slumber;
Though full of all things which could be desired,
One wonder’d what to do with such a number
Of articles which nobody required;
Here wealth had done its utmost to encumber
With furniture an exquisite apartment,
Which puzzled Nature much to know what Art meant.
It seem’d, however, but to open on
A range or suite of further chambers, which
Might lead to heaven knows where; but in this one
The movables were prodigally rich:
Sofas ’twas half a sin to sit upon,
So costly were they; carpets every stitch
Of workmanship so rare, they made you wish
You could glide o’er them like a golden fish.
The black, however, without hardly deigning
A glance at that which wrapt the slaves in wonder,
Trampled what they scarce trod for fear of staining,
As if the milky way their feet was under
With all its stars; and with a stretch attaining
A certain press or cupboard niched in yonder—
In that remote recess which you may see—
Or if you don’t the fault is not in me,—
I wish to be perspicuous; and the black,
I say, unlocking the recess, pull’d forth
A quantity of clothes fit for the back
Of any Mussulman, whate’er his worth;
And of variety there was no lack—
And yet, though I have said there was no dearth,
He chose himself to point out what he thought
Most proper for the Christians he had bought.
The suit he thought most suitable to each
Was, for the elder and the stouter, first
A Candiote cloak, which to the knee might reach,
And trousers not so tight that they would burst,
But such as fit an Asiatic breech;
A shawl, whose folds in Cashmire had been nurst,
Slippers of saffron, dagger rich and handy;
In short, all things which form a Turkish Dandy.
While he was dressing, Baba, their black friend,
Hinted the vast advantages which they
Might probably attain both in the end,
If they would but pursue the proper way
Which fortune plainly seem’d to recommend;
And then he added, that he needs must say,
‘’Twould greatly tend to better their condition,
If they would condescend to circumcision.
‘For his own part, he really should rejoice
To see them true believers, but no less
Would leave his proposition to their choice.’
The other, thanking him for this excess
Of goodness, in thus leaving them a voice
In such a trifle, scarcely could express
‘Sufficiently’ (he said) ‘his approbation
Of all the customs of this polish’d nation.
‘For his own share—he saw but small objection
To so respectable an ancient rite;
And, after swallowing down a slight refection,
For which he own’d a present appetite,
He doubted not a few hours of reflection
Would reconcile him to the business quite.’
‘Will it?’ said Juan, sharply: ‘Strike me dead,
But they as soon shall circumcise my head!
‘Cut off a thousand heads, before-’—‘Now, pray,’
Replied the other, ‘do not interrupt:
You put me out in what I had to say.
Sir!—as I said, as soon as I have supt,
I shall perpend if your proposal may
Be such as I can properly accept;
Provided always your great goodness still
Remits the matter to our own free-will.’
Baba eyed Juan, and said, ‘Be so good
As dress yourself-’ and pointed out a suit
In which a Princess with great pleasure would
Array her limbs; but Juan standing mute,
As not being in a masquerading mood,
Gave it a slight kick with his Christian foot;
And when the old negro told him to ‘Get ready,’
Replied, ‘Old gentleman, I’m not a lady.’
‘What you may be, I neither know nor care,’
Said Baba; ‘but pray do as I desire:
I have no more time nor many words to spare.’
‘At least,’ said Juan, ‘sure I may enquire
The cause of this odd travesty?’—‘Forbear,’
Said Baba, ‘to be curious; ’twill transpire,
No doubt, in proper place, and time, and season:
I have no authority to tell the reason.’
‘Then if I do,’ said Juan, ‘I’ll be-’—‘Hold!’
Rejoin’d the negro, ‘pray be not provoking;
This spirit ’s well, but it may wax too bold,
And you will find us not top fond of joking.’
‘What, sir!’ said Juan, ‘shall it e’er be told
That I unsex’d my dress?’ But Baba, stroking
The things down, said, ‘Incense me, and I call
Those who will leave you of no sex at all.
‘I offer you a handsome suit of clothes:
A woman’s, true; but then there is a cause
Why you should wear them.’—‘What, though my soul loathes
The effeminate garb?’—thus, after a short pause,
Sigh’d Juan, muttering also some slight oaths,
‘What the devil shall I do with all this gauze?’
Thus he profanely term’d the finest lace
Which e’er set off a marriage-morning face.
And then he swore; and, sighing, on he slipp’d
A pair of trousers of flesh-colour’d silk;
Next with a virgin zone he was equipp’d,
Which girt a slight chemise as white as milk;
But tugging on his petticoat, he tripp’d,
Which—as we say—or, as the Scotch say, whilk
(The rhyme obliges me to this; sometimes
Monarchs are less imperative than rhymes)—
Whilk, which (or what you please), was owing to
His garment’s novelty, and his being awkward:
And yet at last he managed to get through
His toilet, though no doubt a little backward:
The negro Baba help’d a little too,
When some untoward part of raiment stuck hard;
And, wrestling both his arms into a gown,
He paused, and took a survey up and down.
One difficulty still remain’d—his hair
Was hardly long enough; but Baba found
So many false long tresses all to spare,
That soon his head was most completely crown’d,
After the manner then in fashion there;
And this addition with such gems was bound
As suited the ensemble of his toilet,
While Baba made him comb his head and oil it.
And now being femininely all array’d,
With some small aid from scissors, paint, and tweezers,
He look’d in almost all respects a maid,
And Baba smilingly exclaim’d, ‘You see, sirs,
A perfect transformation here display’d;
And now, then, you must come along with me, sirs,
That is—the Lady:’ clapping his hands twice,
Four blacks were at his elbow in a trice.
‘You, sir,’ said Baba, nodding to the one,
‘Will please to accompany those gentlemen
To supper; but you, worthy Christian nun,
Will follow me: no trifling, sir; for when
I say a thing, it must at once be done.
What fear you? think you this a lion’s den?
Why, ’tis a palace; where the truly wise
Anticipate the Prophet’s paradise.
‘You fool! I tell you no one means you harm.’
‘So much the better,’ Juan said, ‘for them;
Else they shall feel the weight of this my arm,
Which is not quite so light as you may deem.
I yield thus far; but soon will break the charm
If any take me for that which I seem:
So that I trust for everybody’s sake,
That this disguise may lead to no mistake.’
‘Blockhead! come on, and see,’ quoth Baba; while
Don Juan, turning to his comrade, who
Though somewhat grieved, could scarce forbear a smile
Upon the metamorphosis in view,—
‘Farewell!’ they mutually exclaim’d: ‘this soil
Seems fertile in adventures strange and new;
One ’s turn’d half Mussulman, and one a maid,
By this old black enchanter’s unsought aid.’
‘Farewell!’ said Juan: ‘should we meet no more,
I wish you a good appetite.’—‘Farewell!’
Replied the other; ‘though it grieves me sore;
When we next meet we’ll have a tale to tell:
We needs must follow when Fate puts from shore.
Keep your good name; though Eve herself once fell.’
‘Nay,’ quoth the maid, ‘the Sultan’s self shan’t carry me,
Unless his highness promises to marry me.
And thus they parted, each by separate doors;
Baba led Juan onward room by room
Through glittering galleries and o’er marble floors,
Till a gigantic portal through the gloom,
Haughty and huge, along the distance lowers;
And wafted far arose a rich perfume:
It seem’d as though they came upon a shrine,
For all was vast, still, fragrant, and divine.
The giant door was broad, and bright, and high,
Of gilded bronze, and carved in curious guise;
Warriors thereon were battling furiously;
Here stalks the victor, there the vanquish’d lies;
There captives led in triumph droop the eye,
And in perspective many a squadron flies:
It seems the work of times before the line
Of Rome transplanted fell with Constantine.
This massy portal stood at the wide close
Of a huge hall, and on its either side
Two little dwarfs, the least you could suppose,
Were sate, like ugly imps, as if allied
In mockery to the enormous gate which rose
O’er them in almost pyramidic pride:
The gate so splendid was in all its features,
You never thought about those little creatures,
Until you nearly trod on them, and then
You started back in horror to survey
The wondrous hideousness of those small men,
Whose colour was not black, nor white, nor grey,
But an extraneous mixture, which no pen
Can trace, although perhaps the pencil may;
They were mis-shapen pigmies, deaf and dumb—
Monsters, who cost a no less monstrous sum.
Their duty was—for they were strong, and though
They look’d so little, did strong things at times—
To ope this door, which they could really do,
The hinges being as smooth as Rogers’ rhymes;
And now and then, with tough strings of the bow,
As is the custom of those Eastern climes,
To give some rebel Pacha a cravat;
For mutes are generally used for that.
They spoke by signs—that is, not spoke at all;
And looking like two incubi, they glared
As Baba with his fingers made them fall
To heaving back the portal folds: it scared
Juan a moment, as this pair so small
With shrinking serpent optics on him stared;
It was as if their little looks could poison
Or fascinate whome’er they fix’d their eyes on.
Before they enter’d, Baba paused to hint
To Juan some slight lessons as his guide:
‘If you could just contrive,’ he said, ‘to stint
That somewhat manly majesty of stride,
’Twould be as well, and (though there’s not much in ’t)
To swing a little less from side to side,
Which has at times an aspect of the oddest;—
And also could you look a little modest,
‘’Twould be convenient; for these mutes have eyes
Like needles, which may pierce those petticoats;
And if they should discover your disguise,
You know how near us the deep Bosphorus floats;
And you and I may chance, ere morning rise,
To find our way to Marmora without boats,
Stitch’d up in sacks—a mode of navigation
A good deal practised here upon occasion.’
With this encouragement, he led the way
Into a room still nobler than the last;
A rich confusion form’d a disarray
In such sort, that the eye along it cast
Could hardly carry anything away,
Object on object flash’d so bright and fast;
A dazzling mass of gems, and gold, and glitter,
Magnificently mingled in a litter.
Wealth had done wonders—taste not much; such things
Occur in Orient palaces, and even
In the more chasten’d domes of Western kings
(Of which I have also seen some six or seven),
Where I can’t say or gold or diamond flings
Great lustre, there is much to be forgiven;
Groups of bad statues, tables, chairs, and pictures,
On which I cannot pause to make my strictures.
In this imperial hall, at distance lay
Under a canopy, and there reclined
Quite in a confidential queenly way,
A lady; Baba stopp’d, and kneeling sign’d
To Juan, who though not much used to pray,
Knelt down by instinct, wondering in his mind,
What all this meant: while Baba bow’d and bended
His head, until the ceremony ended.
The lady rising up with such an air
As Venus rose with from the wave, on them
Bent like an antelope a Paphian pair
Of eyes, which put out each surrounding gem;
And raising up an arm as moonlight fair,
She sign’d to Baba, who first kiss’d the hem
Of her deep purple robe, and speaking low,
Pointed to Juan who remain’d below.
Her presence was as lofty as her state;
Her beauty of that overpowering kind,
Whose force description only would abate:
I’d rather leave it much to your own mind,
Than lessen it by what I could relate
Of forms and features; it would strike you blind
Could I do justice to the full detail;
So, luckily for both, my phrases fail.
Thus much however I may add,—her years
Were ripe, they might make six-and-twenty springs;
But there are forms which Time to touch forbears,
And turns aside his scythe to vulgar things,
Such as was Mary’s Queen of Scots; true—tears
And love destroy; and sapping sorrow wrings
Charms from the charmer, yet some never grow
Ugly; for instance—Ninon de l’Enclos.
She spake some words to her attendants, who
Composed a choir of girls, ten or a dozen,
And were all clad alike; like Juan, too,
Who wore their uniform, by Baba chosen;
They form’d a very nymph-like looking crew,
Which might have call’d Diana’s chorus ‘cousin,’
As far as outward show may correspond;
I won’t be bail for anything beyond.
They bow’d obeisance and withdrew, retiring,
But not by the same door through which came in
Baba and Juan, which last stood admiring,
At some small distance, all he saw within
This strange saloon, much fitted for inspiring
Marvel and praise; for both or none things win;
And I must say, I ne’er could see the very
Great happiness of the ‘Nil Admirari.’
‘Not to admire is all the art I know
(Plain truth, dear Murray, needs few flowers of speech)
To make men happy, or to keep them so’
(So take it in the very words of Creech)—
Thus Horace wrote we all know long ago;
And thus Pope quotes the precept to re-teach
From his translation; but had none admired,
Would Pope have sung, or Horace been inspired?
Baba, when all the damsels were withdrawn,
Motion’d to Juan to approach, and then
A second time desired him to kneel down,
And kiss the lady’s foot; which maxim when
He heard repeated, Juan with a frown
Drew himself up to his full height again,
And said, ‘It grieved him, but he could not stoop
To any shoe, unless it shod the Pope.’
Baba, indignant at this ill-timed pride,
Made fierce remonstrances, and then a threat
He mutter’d (but the last was given aside)
About a bow-string—quite in vain; not yet
Would Juan bend, though ’twere to Mahomet’s bride:
There’s nothing in the world like etiquette
In kingly chambers or imperial halls,
As also at the race and county balls.
He stood like Atlas, with a world of words
About his ears, and nathless would not bend:
The blood of all his line ’s Castilian lords
Boil’d in his veins, and rather than descend
To stain his pedigree a thousand swords
A thousand times of him had made an end;
At length perceiving the ‘foot’ could not stand,
Baba proposed that he should kiss the hand.
Here was an honourable compromise,
A half-way house of diplomatic rest,
Where they might meet in much more peaceful guise;
And Juan now his willingness exprest
To use all fit and proper courtesies,
Adding, that this was commonest and best,
For through the South the custom still commands
The gentleman to kiss the lady’s hands.
And he advanced, though with but a bad grace,
Though on more thorough-bred or fairer fingers
No lips e’er left their transitory trace;
On such as these the lip too fondly lingers,
And for one kiss would fain imprint a brace,
As you will see, if she you love shall bring hers
In contact; and sometimes even a fair stranger’s
An almost twelvemonth’s constancy endangers.
The lady eyed him o’er and o’er, and bade
Baba retire, which he obey’d in style,
As if well used to the retreating trade;
And taking hints in good part all the while,
He whisper’d Juan not to be afraid,
And looking on him with a sort of smile,
Took leave, with such a face of satisfaction
As good men wear who have done a virtuous action.
When he was gone, there was a sudden change:
I know not what might be the lady’s thought,
But o’er her bright brow flash’d a tumult strange,
And into her dear cheek the blood was brought,
Blood-red as sunset summer clouds which range
The verge of Heaven; and in her large eyes wrought,
A mixture of sensations might be scann’d,
Of half voluptuousness and half command.
Her form had all the softness of her sex,
Her features all the sweetness of the devil,
When he put on the cherub to perplex
Eve, and paved (God knows how) the road to evil;
The sun himself was scarce more free from specks
Than she from aught at which the eye could cavil;
Yet, somehow, there was something somewhere wanting,
As if she rather order’d than was granting.
Something imperial, or imperious, threw
A chain o’er all she did; that is, a chain
Was thrown as ’twere about the neck of you,—
And rapture’s self will seem almost a pain
With aught which looks like despotism in view:
Our souls at least are free, and ’tis in vain
We would against them make the flesh obey—
The spirit in the end will have its way.
Her very smile was haughty, though so sweet;
Her very nod was not an inclination;
There was a self-will even in her small feet,
As though they were quite conscious of her station—
They trod as upon necks; and to complete
Her state (it is the custom of her nation),
A poniard deck’d her girdle, as the sign
She was a sultan’s bride (thank Heaven, not mine!).
‘To hear and to obey’ had been from birth
The law of all around her; to fulfill
All phantasies which yielded joy or mirth,
Had been her slaves’ chief pleasure, as her will;
Her blood was high, her beauty scarce of earth:
Judge, then, if her caprices e’er stood still;
Had she but been a Christian, I’ve a notion
We should have found out the ‘perpetual motion.’
Whate’er she saw and coveted was brought;
Whate’er she did not see, if she supposed
It might be seen, with diligence was sought,
And when ’twas found straightway the bargain closed;
There was no end unto the things she bought,
Nor to the trouble which her fancies caused;
Yet even her tyranny had such a grace,
The women pardon’d all except her face.
Juan, the latest of her whims, had caught
Her eye in passing on his way to sale;
She order’d him directly to be bought,
And Baba, who had ne’er been known to fail
In any kind of mischief to be wrought,
At all such auctions knew how to prevail:
She had no prudence, but he had; and this
Explains the garb which Juan took amiss.
His youth and features favour’d the disguise,
And, should you ask how she, a sultan’s bride,
Could risk or compass such strange phantasies,
This I must leave sultanas to decide:
Emperors are only husbands in wives’ eyes,
And kings and consorts oft are mystified,
As we may ascertain with due precision,
Some by experience, others by tradition.
But to the main point, where we have been tending:—
She now conceived all difficulties past,
And deem’d herself extremely condescending
When, being made her property at last,
Without more preface, in her blue eyes blending
Passion and power, a glance on him she cast,
And merely saying, ‘Christian, canst thou love?’
Conceived that phrase was quite enough to move
And so it was, in proper time and place;
But Juan, who had still his mind o’erflowing
With Haidee’s isle and soft Ionian face,
Felt the warm blood, which in his face was glowing,
Rush back upon his heart, which fill’d apace,
And left his cheeks as pale as snowdrops blowing;
These words went through his soul like Arab-spears,
So that he spoke not, but burst into tears.
She was a good deal shock’d; not shock’d at tears,
For women shed and use them at their liking;
But there is something when man’s eye appears
Wet, still more disagreeable and striking;
A woman’s tear-drop melts, a man’s half sears,
Like molten lead, as if you thrust a pike in
His heart to force it out, for (to be shorter)
To them ’tis a relief, to us a torture.
And she would have consoled, but knew not how:
Having no equals, nothing which had e’er
Infected her with sympathy till now,
And never having dreamt what ’twas to bear
Aught of a serious, sorrowing kind, although
There might arise some pouting petty care
To cross her brow, she wonder’d how so near
Her eyes another’s eye could shed a tear.
But nature teaches more than power can spoil,
And, when a strong although a strange sensation
Moves—female hearts are such a genial soil
For kinder feelings, whatsoe’er their nation,
They naturally pour the ‘wine and oil,’
Samaritans in every situation;
And thus Gulbeyaz, though she knew not why,
Felt an odd glistening moisture in her eye.
But tears must stop like all things else; and soon
Juan, who for an instant had been moved
To such a sorrow by the intrusive tone
Of one who dared to ask if ‘he had loved,’
Call’d back the stoic to his eyes, which shone
Bright with the very weakness he reproved;
And although sensitive to beauty, he
Felt most indignant still at not being free.
Gulbeyaz, for the first time in her days,
Was much embarrass’d, never having met
In all her life with aught save prayers and praise;
And as she also risk’d her life to get
Him whom she meant to tutor in love’s ways
Into a comfortable tete-a-tete,
To lose the hour would make her quite a martyr,
And they had wasted now almost a quarter.
I also would suggest the fitting time
To gentlemen in any such like case,
That is to say in a meridian clime—
With us there is more law given to the chase,
But here a small delay forms a great crime:
So recollect that the extremest grace
Is just two minutes for your declaration—
A moment more would hurt your reputation.
Juan’s was good; and might have been still better,
But he had got Haidee into his head:
However strange, he could not yet forget her,
Which made him seem exceedingly ill-bred.
Gulbeyaz, who look’d on him as her debtor
For having had him to her palace led,
Began to blush up to the eyes, and then
Grow deadly pale, and then blush back again.
At length, in an imperial way, she laid
Her hand on his, and bending on him eyes
Which needed not an empire to persuade,
Look’d into his for love, where none replies:
Her brow grew black, but she would not upbraid,
That being the last thing a proud woman tries;
She rose, and pausing one chaste moment, threw
Herself upon his breast, and there she grew.
This was an awkward test, as Juan found,
But he was steel’d by sorrow, wrath, and pride:
With gentle force her white arms he unwound,
And seated her all drooping by his side,
Then rising haughtily he glanced around,
And looking coldly in her face, he cried,
‘The prison’d eagle will not pair, nor
Serve a Sultana’s sensual phantasy.
‘Thou ask’st if I can love? be this the proof
How much I have loved—that I love not thee!
In this vile garb, the distaff, web, and woof,
Were fitter for me: Love is for the free!
I am not dazzled by this splendid roof,
Whate’er thy power, and great it seems to be;
Heads bow, knees bend, eyes watch around a throne,
And hands obey—our hearts are still our own.’
This was a truth to us extremely trite;
Not so to her, who ne’er had heard such things:
She deem’d her least command must yield delight,
Earth being only made for queens and kings.
If hearts lay on the left side or the right
She hardly knew, to such perfection brings
Legitimacy its born votaries, when
Aware of their due royal rights o’er men.
Besides, as has been said, she was so fair
As even in a much humbler lot had made
A kingdom or confusion anywhere,
And also, as may be presumed, she laid
Some stress on charms, which seldom are, if e’er,
By their possessors thrown into the shade:
She thought hers gave a double ‘right divine;’
And half of that opinion ’s also mine.
Remember, or (if you can not) imagine,
Ye, who have kept your chastity when young,
While some more desperate dowager has been waging
Love with you, and been in the dog-days stung
By your refusal, recollect her raging!
Or recollect all that was said or sung
On such a subject; then suppose the face
Of a young downright beauty in this case.
Suppose,—but you already have supposed,
The spouse of Potiphar, the Lady Booby,
Phaedra, and all which story has disclosed
Of good examples; pity that so few by
Poets and private tutors are exposed,
To educate—ye youth of Europe—you by!
But when you have supposed the few we know,
You can’t suppose Gulbeyaz’ angry brow.
A tigress robb’d of young, a lioness,
Or any interesting beast of prey,
Are similes at hand for the distress
Of ladies who can not have their own way;
But though my turn will not be served with less,
These don’t express one half what I should say:
For what is stealing young ones, few or many,
To cutting short their hopes of having any?
The love of offspring ’s nature’s general law,
From tigresses and cubs to ducks and ducklings;
There’s nothing whets the beak, or arms the claw
Like an invasion of their babes and sucklings;
And all who have seen a human nursery, saw
How mothers love their children’s squalls and chucklings;
This strong extreme effect (to tire no longer
Your patience) shows the cause must still be stronger.
If I said fire flash’d from Gulbeyaz’ eyes,
’Twere nothing—for her eyes flash’d always fire;
Or said her cheeks assumed the deepest dyes,
I should but bring disgrace upon the dyer,
So supernatural was her passion’s rise;
For ne’er till now she knew a check’d desire:
Even ye who know what a check’d woman is
(Enough, God knows!) would much fall short of this.
Her rage was but a minute’s, and ’twas well—
A moment’s more had slain her; but the while
It lasted ’twas like a short glimpse of hell:
Nought ’s more sublime than energetic bile,
Though horrible to see yet grand to tell,
Like ocean warring ’gainst a rocky isle;
And the deep passions flashing through her form
Made her a beautiful embodied storm.
A vulgar tempest ’twere to a typhoon
To match a common fury with her rage,
And yet she did not want to reach the moon,
Like moderate Hotspur on the immortal page;
Her anger pitch’d into a lower tune,
Perhaps the fault of her soft sex and age—
Her wish was but to ‘kill, kill, kill,’ like Lear’s,
And then her thirst of blood was quench’d in tears.
A storm it raged, and like the storm it pass’d,
Pass’d without words—in fact she could not speak;
And then her sex’s shame broke in at last,
A sentiment till then in her but weak,
But now it flow’d in natural and fast,
As water through an unexpected leak;
For she felt humbled—and humiliation
Is sometimes good for people in her station
It teaches them that they are flesh and blood,
It also gently hints to them that others,
Although of clay, are yet not quite of mud;
That urns and pipkins are but fragile brothers,
And works of the same pottery, bad or good,
Though not all born of the same sires and mothers:
It teaches—Heaven knows only what it teaches,
But sometimes it may mend, and often reaches.
Her first thought was to cut off Juan’s head;
Her second, to cut only his—acquaintance;
Her third, to ask him where he had been bred;
Her fourth, to rally him into repentance;
Her fifth, to call her maids and go to bed;
Her sixth, to stab herself; her seventh, to sentence
The lash to Baba:—but her grand resource
Was to sit down again, and cry of course.
She thought to stab herself, but then she had
The dagger close at hand, which made it awkward;
For Eastern stays are little made to pad,
So that a poniard pierces if ’tis stuck hard:
She thought of killing Juan—but, poor lad!
Though he deserved it well for being so backward,
The cutting off his head was not the art
Most likely to attain her aim—his heart.
Juan was moved; he had made up his mind
To be impaled, or quarter’d as a dish
For dogs, or to be slain with pangs refined,
Or thrown to lions, or made baits for fish,
And thus heroically stood resign’d,
Rather than sin—except to his own wish:
But all his great preparatives for dying
Dissolved like snow before a woman crying.
As through his palms Bob Acres’ valour oozed,
So Juan’s virtue ebb’d, I know not how;
And first he wonder’d why he had refused;
And then, if matters could be made up now;
And next his savage virtue he accused,
Just as a friar may accuse his vow,
Or as a dame repents her of her oath,
Which mostly ends in some small breach of both.
So he began to stammer some excuses;
But words are not enough in such a matter,
Although you borrow’d all that e’er the muses
Have sung, or even a Dandy’s dandiest chatter,
Or all the figures Castlereagh abuses;
Just as a languid smile began to flatter
His peace was making, but before he ventured
Further, old Baba rather briskly enter’d.
‘Bride of the Sun! and Sister of the Moon!’
(’Twas thus he spake) ‘and Empress of the Earth!
Whose frown would put the spheres all out of tune,
Whose smile makes all the planets dance with mirth,
Your slave brings tidings—he hopes not too soon—
Which your sublime attention may be worth:
The Sun himself has sent me like a ray,
To hint that he is coming up this way.’
‘Is it,’ exclaim’d Gulbeyaz, ‘as you say?
I wish to heaven he would not shine till morning!
But bid my women form the milky way.
Hence, my old comet! give the stars due warning—
And, Christian! mingle with them as you may,
And as you’d have me pardon your past scorning-’
Here they were interrupted by a humming
Sound, and then by a cry, ‘The Sultan ’s coming!’
First came her damsels, a decorous file,
And then his Highness’ eunuchs, black and white;
The train might reach a quarter of a mile:
His majesty was always so polite
As to announce his visits a long while
Before he came, especially at night;
For being the last wife of the Emperour,
She was of course the favorite of the four.
His Highness was a man of solemn port,
Shawl’d to the nose, and bearded to the eyes,
Snatch’d from a prison to preside at court,
His lately bowstrung brother caused his rise;
He was as good a sovereign of the sort
As any mention’d in the histories
Of Cantemir, or Knolles, where few shine
Save Solyman, the glory of their line.
He went to mosque in state, and said his prayers
With more than ‘Oriental scrupulosity;’
He left to his vizier all state affairs,
And show’d but little royal curiosity:
I know not if he had domestic cares—
No process proved connubial animosity;
Four wives and twice five hundred maids, unseen,
Were ruled as calmly as a Christian queen.
If now and then there happen’d a slight slip,
Little was heard of criminal or crime;
The story scarcely pass’d a single lip—
The sack and sea had settled all in time,
From which the secret nobody could rip:
The Public knew no more than does this rhyme;
No scandals made the daily press a curse—
Morals were better, and the fish no worse.
He saw with his own eyes the moon was round,
Was also certain that the earth was square,
Because he had journey’d fifty miles, and found
No sign that it was circular anywhere;
His empire also was without a bound:
’Tis true, a little troubled here and there,
By rebel pachas, and encroaching giaours,
But then they never came to ‘the Seven Towers;’
Except in shape of envoys, who were sent
To lodge there when a war broke out, according
To the true law of nations, which ne’er meant
Those scoundrels, who have never had a sword in
Their dirty diplomatic hands, to vent
Their spleen in making strife, and safely wording
Their lies, yclep’d despatches, without risk or
The singeing of a single inky whisker.
He had fifty daughters and four dozen sons,
Of whom all such as came of age were stow’d,
The former in a palace, where like nuns
They lived till some Bashaw was sent abroad,
When she, whose turn it was, was wed at once,
Sometimes at six years old—though it seems odd,
’Tis true; the reason is, that the Bashaw
Must make a present to his sire in law.
His sons were kept in prison, till they grew
Of years to fill a bowstring or the throne,
One or the other, but which of the two
Could yet be known unto the fates alone;
Meantime the education they went through
Was princely, as the proofs have always shown:
So that the heir apparent still was found
No less deserving to be hang’d than crown’d.
His majesty saluted his fourth spouse
With all the ceremonies of his rank,
Who clear’d her sparkling eyes and smooth’d her brows,
As suits a matron who has play’d a prank;
These must seem doubly mindful of their vows,
To save the credit of their breaking bank:
To no men are such cordial greetings given
As those whose wives have made them fit for heaven.
His Highness cast around his great black eyes,
And looking, as he always look’d, perceived
Juan amongst the damsels in disguise,
At which he seem’d no whit surprised nor grieved,
But just remark’d with air sedate and wise,
While still a fluttering sigh Gulbeyaz heaved,
‘I see you’ve bought another girl; ’tis pity
That a mere Christian should be half so pretty.’
This compliment, which drew all eyes upon
The new-bought virgin, made her blush and shake.
Her comrades, also, thought themselves undone:
O! Mahomet! that his majesty should take
Such notice of a giaour, while scarce to one
Of them his lips imperial ever spake!
There was a general whisper, toss, and wriggle,
But etiquette forbade them all to giggle.
The Turks do well to shut—at least, sometimes—
The women up, because, in sad reality,
Their chastity in these unhappy climes
Is not a thing of that astringent quality
Which in the North prevents precocious crimes,
And makes our snow less pure than our morality;
The sun, which yearly melts the polar ice,
Has quite the contrary effect on vice.
Thus in the East they are extremely strict,
And Wedlock and a Padlock mean the same;
Excepting only when the former ’s pick’d
It ne’er can be replaced in proper frame;
Spoilt, as a pipe of claret is when prick’d:
But then their own Polygamy ’s to blame;
Why don’t they knead two virtuous souls for life
Into that moral centaur, man and wife?
Thus far our chronicle; and now we pause,
Though not for want of matter; but ’tis time
According to the ancient epic laws,
To slacken sail, and anchor with our rhyme.
Let this fifth canto meet with due applause,
The sixth shall have a touch of the sublime;
Meanwhile, as Homer sometimes sleeps, perhaps
You’ll pardon to my muse a few short naps.

CANTO THE SIXTH.

‘There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which,—taken at the flood,’—you know the rest,
And most of us have found it now and then;
At least we think so, though but few have guess’d
The moment, till too late to come again.
But no doubt every thing is for the best—
Of which the surest sign is in the end:
When things are at the worst they sometimes mend.
There is a tide in the affairs of women
Which, taken at the flood, leads—God knows where:
Those navigators must be able seamen
Whose charts lay down its current to a hair;
Not all the reveries of Jacob Behmen
With its strange whirls and eddies can compare:
Men with their heads reflect on this and that—
But women with their hearts on heaven knows what!
And yet a headlong, headstrong, downright she,
Young, beautiful, and daring—who would risk
A throne, the world, the universe, to be
Beloved in her own way, and rather whisk
The stars from out the sky, than not be free
As are the billows when the breeze is brisk—
Though such a she ’s a devil (if that there be one),
Yet she would make full many a Manichean.
Thrones, worlds, et cetera, are so oft upset
By commonest ambition, that when passion
O’erthrows the same, we readily forget,
Or at the least forgive, the loving rash one.
If Antony be well remember’d yet,
’Tis not his conquests keep his name in fashion,
But Actium, lost for Cleopatra’s eyes,
Outbalances all Caesar’s victories.
He died at fifty for a queen of forty;
I wish their years had been fifteen and twenty,
For then wealth, kingdoms, worlds are but a sport—I
Remember when, though I had no great plenty
Of worlds to lose, yet still, to pay my court, I
Gave what I had—a heart: as the world went, I
Gave what was worth a world; for worlds could never
Restore me those pure feelings, gone forever.
’Twas the boy’s ‘mite,’ and, like the ‘widow’s,’ may
Perhaps be weigh’d hereafter, if not now;
But whether such things do or do not weigh,
All who have loved, or love, will still allow
Life has nought like it. God is love, they say,
And Love ’s a god, or was before the brow
Of earth was wrinkled by the sins and tears
Of—but Chronology best knows the years.
We left our hero and third heroine in
A kind of state more awkward than uncommon,
For gentlemen must sometimes risk their skin
For that sad tempter, a forbidden woman:
Sultans too much abhor this sort of sin,
And don’t agree at all with the wise Roman,
Heroic, stoic Cato, the sententious,
Who lent his lady to his friend Hortensius.
I know Gulbeyaz was extremely wrong;
I own it, I deplore it, I condemn it;
But I detest all fiction even in song,
And so must tell the truth, howe’er you blame it.
Her reason being weak, her passions strong,
She thought that her lord’s heart (even could she claim it)
Was scarce enough; for he had fifty-nine
Years, and a fifteen-hundredth concubine.
I am not, like Cassio, ‘an arithmetician,’
But by ‘the bookish theoric’ it appears,
If ’tis summ’d up with feminine precision,
That, adding to the account his Highness’ years,
The fair Sultana err’d from inanition;
For, were the Sultan just to all his dears,
She could but claim the fifteen-hundredth part
Of what should be monopoly—the heart.
It is observed that ladies are litigious
Upon all legal objects of possession,
And not the least so when they are religious,
Which doubles what they think of the transgression:
With suits and prosecutions they besiege us,
As the tribunals show through many a session,
When they suspect that any one goes shares
In that to which the law makes them sole heirs.
Now, if this holds good in a Christian land,
The heathen also, though with lesser latitude,
Are apt to carry things with a high hand,
And take what kings call ‘an imposing attitude,’
And for their rights connubial make a stand,
When their liege husbands treat them with ingratitude:
And as four wives must have quadruple claims,
The Tigris hath its jealousies like Thames.
Gulbeyaz was the fourth, and (as I said)
The favourite; but what ’s favour amongst four?
Polygamy may well be held in dread,
Not only as a sin, but as a bore:
Most wise men, with one moderate woman wed,
Will scarcely find philosophy for more;
And all (except Mahometans) forbear
To make the nuptial couch a ‘Bed of Ware.’
His Highness, the sublimest of mankind,—
So styled according to the usual forms
Of every monarch, till they are consign’d
To those sad hungry jacobins the worms,
Who on the very loftiest kings have dined,—
His Highness gazed upon Gulbeyaz’ charms,
Expecting all the welcome of a lover
(A ‘Highland welcome’ all the wide world over).
Now here we should distinguish; for howe’er
Kisses, sweet words, embraces, and all that,
May look like what is—neither here nor there,
They are put on as easily as a hat,
Or rather bonnet, which the fair sex wear,
Trimm’d either heads or hearts to decorate,
Which form an ornament, but no more part
Of heads, than their caresses of the heart.
A slight blush, a soft tremor, a calm kind
Of gentle feminine delight, and shown
More in the eyelids than the eyes, resign’d
Rather to hide what pleases most unknown,
Are the best tokens (to a modest mind)
Of love, when seated on his loveliest throne,
A sincere woman’s breast,—for over-warm
Or over-cold annihilates the charm.
For over-warmth, if false, is worse than truth;
If true, ’tis no great lease of its own fire;
For no one, save in very early youth,
Would like (I think) to trust all to desire,
Which is but a precarious bond, in sooth,
And apt to be transferr’d to the first buyer
At a sad discount: while your over chilly
Women, on t’ other hand, seem somewhat silly.
That is, we cannot pardon their bad taste,
For so it seems to lovers swift or slow,
Who fain would have a mutual flame confess’d,
And see a sentimental passion glow,
Even were St. Francis’ paramour their guest,
In his monastic concubine of snow;—
In short, the maxim for the amorous tribe is
Horatian, ‘Medio tu tutissimus ibis.’
The ‘tu’ ’s too much,—but let it stand,—the verse
Requires it, that ’s to say, the English rhyme,
And not the pink of old hexameters;
But, after all, there’s neither tune nor time
In the last line, which cannot well be worse,
And was thrust in to close the octave’s chime:
I own no prosody can ever rate it
As a rule, but truth may, if you translate it.
If fair Gulbeyaz overdid her part,
I know not—it succeeded, and success
Is much in most things, not less in the heart
Than other articles of female dress.
Self-love in man, too, beats all female art;
They lie, we lie, all lie, but love no less;
And no one virtue yet, except starvation,
Could stop that worst of vices—propagation.
We leave this royal couple to repose:
A bed is not a throne, and they may sleep,
Whate’er their dreams be, if of joys or woes:
Yet disappointed joys are woes as deep
As any man’s day mixture undergoes.
Our least of sorrows are such as we weep;
’Tis the vile daily drop on drop which wears
The soul out (like the stone) with petty cares.
A scolding wife, a sullen son, a bill
To pay, unpaid, protested, or discounted
At a per-centage; a child cross, dog ill,
A favourite horse fallen lame just as he ’s mounted,
A bad old woman making a worse will,
Which leaves you minus of the cash you counted
As certain;—these are paltry things, and yet
I’ve rarely seen the man they did not fret.
I’m a philosopher; confound them all!
Bills, beasts, and men, and—no! not womankind!
With one good hearty curse I vent my gall,
And then my stoicism leaves nought behind
Which it can either pain or evil call,
And I can give my whole soul up to mind;
Though what is soul or mind, their birth or growth,
Is more than I know—the deuce take them both!
As after reading Athanasius’ curse,
Which doth your true believer so much please:
I doubt if any now could make it worse
O’er his worst enemy when at his knees,
’Tis so sententious, positive, and terse,
And decorates the book of Common Prayer,
As doth a rainbow the just clearing air.
Gulbeyaz and her lord were sleeping, or
At least one of them!—Oh, the heavy night,
When wicked wives, who love some bachelor,
Lie down in dudgeon to sigh for the light
Of the gray morning, and look vainly for
Its twinkle through the lattice dusky quite—
To toss, to tumble, doze, revive, and quake
Lest their too lawful bed-fellow should wake!
These are beneath the canopy of heaven,
Also beneath the canopy of beds
Four-posted and silk curtain’d, which are given
For rich men and their brides to lay their heads
Upon, in sheets white as what bards call ‘driven
Snow.’ Well! ’tis all hap-hazard when one weds.
Gulbeyaz was an empress, but had been
Perhaps as wretched if a peasant’s quean.
Don Juan in his feminine disguise,
With all the damsels in their long array,
Had bow’d themselves before th’ imperial eyes,
And at the usual signal ta’en their way
Back to their chambers, those long galleries
In the seraglio, where the ladies lay
Their delicate limbs; a thousand bosoms there
Beating for love, as the caged bird’s for air.
I love the sex, and sometimes would reverse
The tyrant’s wish, ‘that mankind only had
One neck, which he with one fell stroke might pierce:’
My wish is quite as wide, but not so bad,
And much more tender on the whole than fierce;
It being (not now, but only while a lad)
That womankind had but one rosy mouth,
To kiss them all at once from North to South.
O, enviable Briareus! with thy hands
And heads, if thou hadst all things multiplied
In such proportion!—But my Muse withstands
The giant thought of being a Titan’s bride,
Or travelling in Patagonian lands;
So let us back to Lilliput, and guide
Our hero through the labyrinth of love
In which we left him several lines above.
He went forth with the lovely Odalisques,
At the given signal join’d to their array;
And though he certainly ran many risks,
Yet he could not at times keep, by the way
(Although the consequences of such frisks
Are worse than the worst damages men pay
In moral England, where the thing ’s a tax),
From ogling all their charms from breasts to backs.
Still he forgot not his disguise:—along
The galleries from room to room they walk’d,
A virgin-like and edifying throng,
By eunuchs flank’d; while at their head there stalk’d
A dame who kept up discipline among
The female ranks, so that none stirr’d or talk’d
Without her sanction on their she-parades:
Her title was ‘the Mother of the Maids.’
Whether she was a ‘mother,’ I know not,
Or whether they were ‘maids’ who call’d her mother;
But this is her seraglio title, got
I know not how, but good as any other;
So Cantemir can tell you, or De Tott:
Her office was to keep aloof or smother
All bad propensities in fifteen hundred
Young women, and correct them when they blunder’d.
A goodly sinecure, no doubt! but made
More easy by the absence of all men—
Except his majesty, who, with her aid,
And guards, and bolts, and walls, and now and then
A slight example, just to cast a shade
Along the rest, contrived to keep this den
Of beauties cool as an Italian convent,
Where all the passions have, alas! but one vent.
And what is that? Devotion, doubtless—how
Could you ask such a question?—but we will
Continue. As I said, this goodly row
Of ladies of all countries at the will
Of one good man, with stately march and slow,
Like water-lilies floating down a rill—
Or rather lake, for rills do not run slowly—
Paced on most maiden-like and melancholy.
But when they reach’d their own apartments, there,
Like birds, or boys, or bedlamites broke loose,
Waves at spring-tide, or women anywhere
When freed from bonds (which are of no great use
After all), or like Irish at a fair,
Their guards being gone, and as it were a truce
Establish’d between them and bondage, they
Began to sing, dance, chatter, smile, and play.
Their talk, of course, ran most on the new comer;
Her shape, her hair, her air, her everything:
Some thought her dress did not so much become her,
Or wonder’d at her ears without a ring;
Some said her years were getting nigh their summer,
Others contended they were but in spring;
Some thought her rather masculine in height,
While others wish’d that she had been so quite.
But no one doubted on the whole, that she
Was what her dress bespoke, a damsel fair,
And fresh, and ‘beautiful exceedingly,’
Who with the brightest Georgians might compare:
They wonder’d how Gulbeyaz, too, could be
So silly as to buy slaves who might share
(If that his Highness wearied of his bride)
Her throne and power, and every thing beside.
But what was strangest in this virgin crew,
Although her beauty was enough to vex,
After the first investigating view,
They all found out as few, or fewer, specks
In the fair form of their companion new,
Than is the custom of the gentle sex,
When they survey, with Christian eyes or Heathen,
In a new face ‘the ugliest creature breathing.’
And yet they had their little jealousies,
Like all the rest; but upon this occasion,
Whether there are such things as sympathies
Without our knowledge or our approbation,
Although they could not see through his disguise,
All felt a soft kind of concatenation,
Like magnetism, or devilism, or what
You please—we will not quarrel about that:
But certain ’tis they all felt for their new
Companion something newer still, as ’twere
A sentimental friendship through and through,
Extremely pure, which made them all concur
In wishing her their sister, save a few
Who wish’d they had a brother just like her,
Whom, if they were at home in sweet Circassia,
They would prefer to Padisha or Pacha.
Of those who had most genius for this sort
Of sentimental friendship, there were three,
Lolah, Katinka, and Dudu; in short
(To save description), fair as fair can be
Were they, according to the best report,
Though differing in stature and degree,
And clime and time, and country and complexion;
They all alike admired their new connection.
Lolah was dusk as India and as warm;
Katinka was a Georgian, white and red,
With great blue eyes, a lovely hand and arm,
And feet so small they scarce seem’d made to tread,
But rather skim the earth; while Dudu’s form
Look’d more adapted to be put to bed,
Being somewhat large, and languishing, and lazy,
Yet of a beauty that would drive you crazy.
A kind of sleepy Venus seem’d Dudu,
Yet very fit to ‘murder sleep’ in those
Who gazed upon her cheek’s transcendent hue,
Her Attic forehead, and her Phidian nose:
Few angles were there in her form, ’tis true,
Thinner she might have been, and yet scarce lose;
Yet, after all, ’twould puzzle to say where
It would not spoil some separate charm to pare.
She was not violently lively, but
Stole on your spirit like a May-day breaking;
Her eyes were not too sparkling, yet, half-shut,
They put beholders in a tender taking;
She look’d (this simile ’s quite new) just cut
From marble, like Pygmalion’s statue waking,
The mortal and the marble still at strife,
And timidly expanding into life.
Lolah demanded the new damsel’s name—
‘Juanna.’—Well, a pretty name enough.
Katinka ask’d her also whence she came—
‘From Spain.’—‘But where is Spain?’—‘Don’t ask such stuff,
Nor show your Georgian ignorance—for shame!’
Said Lolah, with an accent rather rough,
To poor Katinka: ‘Spain ’s an island near
Morocco, betwixt Egypt and Tangier.’
Dudu said nothing, but sat down beside
Juanna, playing with her veil or hair;
And looking at her steadfastly, she sigh’d,
As if she pitied her for being there,
A pretty stranger without friend or guide,
And all abash’d, too, at the general stare
Which welcomes hapless strangers in all places,
With kind remarks upon their mien and faces.
But here the Mother of the Maids drew near,
With, ‘Ladies, it is time to go to rest.
I’m puzzled what to do with you, my dear,’
She added to Juanna, their new guest:
‘Your coming has been unexpected here,
And every couch is occupied; you had best
Partake of mine; but by to-morrow early
We will have all things settled for you fairly.’
Here Lolah interposed—‘Mamma, you know
You don’t sleep soundly, and I cannot bear
That anybody should disturb you so;
I’ll take Juanna; we’re a slenderer pair
Than you would make the half of;—don’t say no;
And I of your young charge will take due care.’
But here Katinka interfered, and said,
‘She also had compassion and a bed.
‘Besides, I hate to sleep alone,’ quoth she.
The matron frown’d: ‘Why so?’—‘For fear of ghosts,’
Replied Katinka; ‘I am sure I see
A phantom upon each of the four posts;
And then I have the worst dreams that can be,
Of Guebres, Giaours, and Ginns, and Gouls in hosts.’
The dame replied, ‘Between your dreams and you,
I fear Juanna’s dreams would be but few.
‘You, Lolah, must continue still to lie
Alone, for reasons which don’t matter; you
The same, Katinka, until by and by;
And I shall place Juanna with Dudu,
Who ’s quiet, inoffensive, silent, shy,
And will not toss and chatter the night through.
What say you, child?’—Dudu said nothing, as
Her talents were of the more silent class;
But she rose up, and kiss’d the matron’s brow
Between the eyes, and Lolah on both cheeks,
Katinka, too; and with a gentle bow
(Curt’sies are neither used by Turks nor Greeks)
She took Juanna by the hand to show
Their place of rest, and left to both their piques,
The others pouting at the matron’s preference
Of Dudu, though they held their tongues from deference.
It was a spacious chamber (Oda is
The Turkish title), and ranged round the wall
Were couches, toilets—and much more than this
I might describe, as I have seen it all,
But it suffices—little was amiss;
’Twas on the whole a nobly furnish’d hall,
With all things ladies want, save one or two,
And even those were nearer than they knew.
Dudu, as has been said, was a sweet creature,
Not very dashing, but extremely winning,
With the most regulated charms of feature,
Which painters cannot catch like faces sinning
Against proportion—the wild strokes of nature
Which they hit off at once in the beginning,
Full of expression, right or wrong, that strike,
And pleasing or unpleasing, still are like.
But she was a soft landscape of mild earth,
Where all was harmony, and calm, and quiet,
Luxuriant, budding; cheerful without mirth,
Which, if not happiness, is much more nigh it
Than are your mighty passions and so forth,
Which some call ‘the sublime:’ I wish they’d try it:
I’ve seen your stormy seas and stormy women,
And pity lovers rather more than seamen.
But she was pensive more than melancholy,
And serious more than pensive, and serene,
It may be, more than either—not unholy
Her thoughts, at least till now, appear to have been.
The strangest thing was, beauteous, she was wholly
Unconscious, albeit turn’d of quick seventeen,
That she was fair, or dark, or short, or tall;
She never thought about herself at all.
And therefore was she kind and gentle as
The Age of Gold (when gold was yet unknown,
By which its nomenclature came to pass;
Thus most appropriately has been shown
‘Lucus a non lucendo,’ not what was,
But what was not; a sort of style that ’s grown
Extremely common in this age, whose metal
The devil may decompose, but never settle:
I think it may be of ‘Corinthian Brass,’
Which was a mixture of all metals, but
The brazen uppermost). Kind reader! pass
This long parenthesis: I could not shut
It sooner for the soul of me, and class
My faults even with your own! which meaneth, Put
A kind construction upon them and me:
But that you won’t—then don’t—I am not less free.
’Tis time we should return to plain narration,
And thus my narrative proceeds:—Dudu,
With every kindness short of ostentation,
Show’d Juan, or Juanna, through and through
This labyrinth of females, and each station
Described—what ’s strange—in words extremely few:
I have but one simile, and that ’s a blunder,
For wordless woman, which is silent thunder.
And next she gave her (I say her, because
The gender still was epicene, at least
In outward show, which is a saving clause)
An outline of the customs of the East,
With all their chaste integrity of laws,
By which the more a haram is increased,
The stricter doubtless grow the vestal duties
Of any supernumerary beauties.
And then she gave Juanna a chaste kiss:
Dudu was fond of kissing—which I’m sure
That nobody can ever take amiss,
Because ’tis pleasant, so that it be pure,
And between females means no more than this—
That they have nothing better near, or newer.
‘Kiss’ rhymes to ‘bliss’ in fact as well as verse—
I wish it never led to something worse.
In perfect innocence she then unmade
Her toilet, which cost little, for she was
A child of Nature, carelessly array’d:
If fond of a chance ogle at her glass,
’Twas like the fawn, which, in the lake display’d,
Beholds her own shy, shadowy image pass,
When first she starts, and then returns to peep,
Admiring this new native of the deep.
And one by one her articles of dress
Were laid aside; but not before she offer’d
Her aid to fair Juanna, whose excess
Of modesty declined the assistance proffer’d:
Which pass’d well off—as she could do no less;
Though by this politesse she rather suffer’d,
Pricking her fingers with those cursed pins,
Which surely were invented for our sins,—
Making a woman like a porcupine,
Not to be rashly touch’d. But still more dread,
O ye! whose fate it is, as once ’twas mine,
In early youth, to turn a lady’s maid;—
I did my very boyish best to shine
In tricking her out for a masquerade;
The pins were placed sufficiently, but not
Stuck all exactly in the proper spot.
But these are foolish things to all the wise,
And I love wisdom more than she loves me;
My tendency is to philosophise
On most things, from a tyrant to a tree;
But still the spouseless virgin Knowledge flies.
What are we? and whence came we? what shall be
Our ultimate existence? what ’s our present?
Are questions answerless, and yet incessant.
There was deep silence in the chamber: dim
And distant from each other burn’d the lights,
And slumber hover’d o’er each lovely limb
Of the fair occupants: if there be sprites,
They should have walk’d there in their sprightliest trim,
By way of change from their sepulchral sites,
And shown themselves as ghosts of better taste
Than haunting some old ruin or wild waste.
Many and beautiful lay those around,
Like flowers of different hue, and clime, and root,
In some exotic garden sometimes found,
With cost, and care, and warmth induced to shoot.
One with her auburn tresses lightly bound,
And fair brows gently drooping, as the fruit
Nods from the tree, was slumbering with soft breath,
And lips apart, which show’d the pearls beneath.
One with her flush’d cheek laid on her white arm,
And raven ringlets gather’d in dark crowd
Above her brow, lay dreaming soft and warm;
And smiling through her dream, as through a cloud
The moon breaks, half unveil’d each further charm,
As, slightly stirring in her snowy shroud,
Her beauties seized the unconscious hour of night
All bashfully to struggle into light.
This is no bull, although it sounds so; for
’Twas night, but there were lamps, as hath been said.
A third’s all pallid aspect offer’d more
The traits of sleeping sorrow, and betray’d
Through the heaved breast the dream of some far shore
Beloved and deplored; while slowly stray’d
(As night-dew, on a cypress glittering, tinges
The black bough) tear-drops through her eyes’ dark fringes.
A fourth as marble, statue-like and still,
Lay in a breathless, hush’d, and stony sleep;
White, cold, and pure, as looks a frozen rill,
Or the snow minaret on an Alpine steep,
Or Lot’s wife done in salt,—or what you will;—
My similes are gather’d in a heap,
So pick and choose—perhaps you’ll be content
With a carved lady on a monument.
And lo! a fifth appears;—and what is she?
A lady of a ‘certain age,’ which means
Certainly aged—what her years might be
I know not, never counting past their teens;
But there she slept, not quite so fair to see,
As ere that awful period intervenes
Which lays both men and women on the shelf,
To meditate upon their sins and self.
But all this time how slept, or dream’d, Dudu?
With strict inquiry I could ne’er discover,
And scorn to add a syllable untrue;
But ere the middle watch was hardly over,
Just when the fading lamps waned dim and blue,
And phantoms hover’d, or might seem to hover,
To those who like their company, about
The apartment, on a sudden she scream’d out:
And that so loudly, that upstarted all
The Oda, in a general commotion:
Matron and maids, and those whom you may call
Neither, came crowding like the waves of ocean,
One on the other, throughout the whole hall,
All trembling, wondering, without the least notion
More than I have myself of what could make
The calm Dudu so turbulently wake.
But wide awake she was, and round her bed,
With floating draperies and with flying hair,
With eager eyes, and light but hurried tread,
And bosoms, arms, and ankles glancing bare,
And bright as any meteor ever bred
By the North Pole,—they sought her cause of care,
For she seem’d agitated, flush’d, and frighten’d,
Her eye dilated and her colour heighten’d.
But what was strange—and a strong proof how great
A blessing is sound sleep—Juanna lay
As fast as ever husband by his mate
In holy matrimony snores away.
Not all the clamour broke her happy state
Of slumber, ere they shook her,—so they say
At least,—and then she, too, unclosed her eyes,
And yawn’d a good deal with discreet surprise.
And now commenced a strict investigation,
Which, as all spoke at once and more than once,
Conjecturing, wondering, asking a narration,
Alike might puzzle either wit or dunce
To answer in a very clear oration.
Dudu had never pass’d for wanting sense,
But, being ‘no orator as Brutus is,’
Could not at first expound what was amiss.
At length she said, that in a slumber sound
She dream’d a dream, of walking in a wood—
A ‘wood obscure,’ like that where Dante found
Himself in at the age when all grow good;
Life’s half-way house, where dames with virtue crown’d
Run much less risk of lovers turning rude;
And that this wood was full of pleasant fruits,
And trees of goodly growth and spreading roots;
And in the midst a golden apple grew,—
A most prodigious pippin,—but it hung
Rather too high and distant; that she threw
Her glances on it, and then, longing, flung
Stones and whatever she could pick up, to
Bring down the fruit, which still perversely clung
To its own bough, and dangled yet in sight,
But always at a most provoking height;—
That on a sudden, when she least had hope,
It fell down of its own accord before
Her feet; that her first movement was to stoop
And pick it up, and bite it to the core;
That just as her young lip began to ope
Upon the golden fruit the vision bore,
A bee flew out and stung her to the heart,
And so—she awoke with a great scream and start.
All this she told with some confusion and
Dismay, the usual consequence of dreams
Of the unpleasant kind, with none at hand
To expound their vain and visionary gleams.
I’ve known some odd ones which seem’d really plann’d
Prophetically, or that which one deems
A ‘strange coincidence,’ to use a phrase
By which such things are settled now-a-days.
The damsels, who had thoughts of some great harm,
Began, as is the consequence of fear,
To scold a little at the false alarm
That broke for nothing on their sleeping car.
The matron, too, was wroth to leave her warm
Bed for the dream she had been obliged to hear,
And chafed at poor Dudu, who only sigh’d,
And said that she was sorry she had cried.
‘I’ve heard of stories of a cock and bull;
But visions of an apple and a bee,
To take us from our natural rest, and pull
The whole Oda from their beds at half-past three,
Would make us think the moon is at its full.
You surely are unwell, child! we must see,
To-morrow, what his Highness’s physician
Will say to this hysteric of a vision.
‘And poor Juanna, too—the child’s first night
Within these walls to be broke in upon
With such a clamour! I had thought it right
That the young stranger should not lie alone,
And, as the quietest of all, she might
With you, Dudu, a good night’s rest have known;
But now I must transfer her to the charge
Of Lolah—though her couch is not so large.’
Lolah’s eyes sparkled at the proposition;
But poor Dudu, with large drops in her own,
Resulting from the scolding or the vision,
Implored that present pardon might be shown
For this first fault, and that on no condition
(She added in a soft and piteous tone)
Juanna should be taken from her, and
Her future dreams should all be kept in hand.
She promised never more to have a dream,
At least to dream so loudly as just now;
She wonder’d at herself how she could scream—
’Twas foolish, nervous, as she must allow,
A fond hallucination, and a theme
For laughter—but she felt her spirits low,
And begg’d they would excuse her; she’d get over
This weakness in a few hours, and recover.
And here Juanna kindly interposed,
And said she felt herself extremely well
Where she then was, as her sound sleep disclosed
When all around rang like a tocsin bell:
She did not find herself the least disposed
To quit her gentle partner, and to dwell
Apart from one who had no sin to show,
Save that of dreaming once ‘mal-a-propos.’
As thus Juanna spoke, Dudu turn’d round
And hid her face within Juanna’s breast:
Her neck alone was seen, but that was found
The colour of a budding rose’s crest.
I can’t tell why she blush’d, nor can expound
The mystery of this rupture of their rest;
All that I know is, that the facts I state
Are true as truth has ever been of late.
And so good night to them,—or, if you will,
Good morrow—for the cock had crown, and light
Began to clothe each Asiatic hill,
And the mosque crescent struggled into sight
Of the long caravan, which in the chill
Of dewy dawn wound slowly round each height
That stretches to the stony belt, which girds
Asia, where Kaff looks down upon the Kurds.
With the first ray, or rather grey of morn,
Gulbeyaz rose from restlessness; and pale
As passion rises, with its bosom worn,
Array’d herself with mantle, gem, and veil.
The nightingale that sings with the deep thorn,
Which fable places in her breast of wail,
Is lighter far of heart and voice than those
Whose headlong passions form their proper woes.
And that ’s the moral of this composition,
If people would but see its real drift;—
But that they will not do without suspicion,
Because all gentle readers have the gift
Of closing ’gainst the light their orbs of vision;
While gentle writers also love to lift
Their voices ’gainst each other, which is natural,
The numbers are too great for them to flatter all.
Rose the sultana from a bed of splendour,
Softer than the soft Sybarite’s, who cried
Aloud because his feelings were too tender
To brook a ruffled rose-leaf by his side,—
So beautiful that art could little mend her,
Though pale with conflicts between love and pride;—
So agitated was she with her error,
She did not even look into the mirror.
Also arose about the self-same time,
Perhaps a little later, her great lord,
Master of thirty kingdoms so sublime,
And of a wife by whom he was abhorr’d;
A thing of much less import in that clime—
At least to those of incomes which afford
The filling up their whole connubial cargo—
Than where two wives are under an embargo.
He did not think much on the matter, nor
Indeed on any other: as a man
He liked to have a handsome paramour
At hand, as one may like to have a fan,
And therefore of Circassians had good store,
As an amusement after the Divan;
Though an unusual fit of love, or duty,
Had made him lately bask in his bride’s beauty.
And now he rose; and after due ablutions
Exacted by the customs of the East,
And prayers and other pious evolutions,
He drank six cups of coffee at the least,
And then withdrew to hear about the Russians,
Whose victories had recently increased
In Catherine’s reign, whom glory still adores,
As greatest of all sovereigns and w—s.
But oh, thou grand legitimate Alexander!
Her son’s son, let not this last phrase offend
Thine ear, if it should reach—and now rhymes wander
Almost as far as Petersburgh and lend
A dreadful impulse to each loud meander
Of murmuring Liberty’s wide waves, which blend
Their roar even with the Baltic’s—so you be
Your father’s son, ’tis quite enough for me.
To call men love-begotten or proclaim
Their mothers as the antipodes of Timon,
That hater of mankind, would be a shame,
A libel, or whate’er you please to rhyme on:
But people’s ancestors are history’s game;
And if one lady’s slip could leave a crime on
All generations, I should like to know
What pedigree the best would have to show?
Had Catherine and the sultan understood
Their own true interests, which kings rarely know
Until ’tis taught by lessons rather rude,
There was a way to end their strife, although
Perhaps precarious, had they but thought good,
Without the aid of prince or plenipo:
She to dismiss her guards and he his haram,
And for their other matters, meet and share ’em.
But as it was, his Highness had to hold
His daily council upon ways and means
How to encounter with this martial scold,
This modern Amazon and queen of queans;
And the perplexity could not be told
Of all the pillars of the state, which leans
Sometimes a little heavy on the backs
Of those who cannot lay on a new tax.
Meantime Gulbeyaz, when her king was gone,
Retired into her boudoir, a sweet place
For love or breakfast; private, pleasing, lone,
And rich with all contrivances which grace
Those gay recesses:—many a precious stone
Sparkled along its roof, and many a vase
Of porcelain held in the fetter’d flowers,
Those captive soothers of a captive’s hours.
Mother of pearl, and porphyry, and marble,
Vied with each other on this costly spot;
And singing birds without were heard to warble;
And the stain’d glass which lighted this fair grot
Varied each ray;—but all descriptions garble
The true effect, and so we had better not
Be too minute; an outline is the best,—
A lively reader’s fancy does the rest.
And here she summon’d Baba, and required
Don Juan at his hands, and information
Of what had pass’d since all the slaves retired,
And whether he had occupied their station;
If matters had been managed as desired,
And his disguise with due consideration
Kept up; and above all, the where and how
He had pass’d the night, was what she wish’d to know.
Baba, with some embarrassment, replied
To this long catechism of questions, ask’d
More easily than answer’d,—that he had tried
His best to obey in what he had been task’d;
But there seem’d something that he wish’d to hide,
Which hesitation more betray’d than mask’d;
He scratch’d his ear, the infallible resource
To which embarrass’d people have recourse.
Gulbeyaz was no model of true patience,
Nor much disposed to wait in word or deed;
She liked quick answers in all conversations;
And when she saw him stumbling like a steed
In his replies, she puzzled him for fresh ones;
And as his speech grew still more broken-kneed,
Her cheek began to flush, her eyes to sparkle,
And her proud brow’s blue veins to swell and darkle.
When Baba saw these symptoms, which he knew
To bode him no great good, he deprecated
Her anger, and beseech’d she’d hear him through—
He could not help the thing which he related:
Then out it came at length, that to Dudu
Juan was given in charge, as hath been stated;
But not by Baba’s fault, he said, and swore on
The holy camel’s hump, besides the Koran.
The chief dame of the Oda, upon whom
The discipline of the whole haram bore,
As soon as they re-enter’d their own room,
For Baba’s function stopt short at the door,
Had settled all; nor could he then presume
(The aforesaid Baba) just then to do more,
Without exciting such suspicion as
Might make the matter still worse than it was.
He hoped, indeed he thought, he could be sure
Juan had not betray’d himself; in fact
’Twas certain that his conduct had been pure,
Because a foolish or imprudent act
Would not alone have made him insecure,
But ended in his being found out and sack’d,
And thrown into the sea.—Thus Baba spoke
Of all save Dudu’s dream, which was no joke.
This he discreetly kept in the background,
And talk’d away—and might have talk’d till now,
For any further answer that he found,
So deep an anguish wrung Gulbeyaz’ brow:
Her cheek turn’d ashes, ears rung, brain whirl’d round,
As if she had received a sudden blow,
And the heart’s dew of pain sprang fast and chilly
O’er her fair front, like Morning’s on a lily.
Although she was not of the fainting sort,
Baba thought she would faint, but there he err’d—
It was but a convulsion, which though short
Can never be described; we all have heard,
And some of us have felt thus ‘all amort,’
When things beyond the common have occurr’d;—
Gulbeyaz proved in that brief agony
What she could ne’er express—then how should I?
She stood a moment as a Pythoness
Stands on her tripod, agonised, and full
Of inspiration gather’d from distress,
When all the heart-strings like wild horses pull
The heart asunder;—then, as more or less
Their speed abated or their strength grew dull,
She sunk down on her seat by slow degrees,
And bow’d her throbbing head o’er trembling knees.
Her face declined and was unseen; her hair
Fell in long tresses like the weeping willow,
Sweeping the marble underneath her chair,
Or rather sofa (for it was all pillow,
A low soft ottoman), and black despair
Stirr’d up and down her bosom like a billow,
Which rushes to some shore whose shingles check
Its farther course, but must receive its wreck.
Her head hung down, and her long hair in stooping
Conceal’d her features better than a veil;
And one hand o’er the ottoman lay drooping,
White, waxen, and as alabaster pale:
Would that I were a painter! to be grouping
All that a poet drags into detail
O that my words were colours! but their tints
May serve perhaps as outlines or slight hints.
Baba, who knew by experience when to talk
And when to hold his tongue, now held it till
This passion might blow o’er, nor dared to balk
Gulbeyaz’ taciturn or speaking will.
At length she rose up, and began to walk
Slowly along the room, but silent still,
And her brow clear’d, but not her troubled eye;
The wind was down, but still the sea ran high.
She stopp’d, and raised her head to speak—but paused,
And then moved on again with rapid pace;
Then slacken’d it, which is the march most caused
By deep emotion:—you may sometimes trace
A feeling in each footstep, as disclosed
By Sallust in his Catiline, who, chased
By all the demons of all passions, show’d
Their work even by the way in which he trode.
Gulbeyaz stopp’d and beckon’d Baba:—‘Slave!
Bring the two slaves!’ she said in a low tone,
But one which Baba did not like to brave,
And yet he shudder’d, and seem’d rather prone
To prove reluctant, and begg’d leave to crave
(Though he well knew the meaning) to be shown
What slaves her highness wish’d to indicate,
For fear of any error, like the late.
‘The Georgian and her paramour,’ replied
The imperial bride—and added, ‘Let the boat
Be ready by the secret portal’s side:
You know the rest.’ The words stuck in her throat,
Despite her injured love and fiery pride;
And of this Baba willingly took note,
And begg’d by every hair of Mahomet’s beard,
She would revoke the order he had heard.
‘To hear is to obey,’ he said; ‘but still,
Sultana, think upon the consequence:
It is not that I shall not all fulfil
Your orders, even in their severest sense;
But such precipitation may end ill,
Even at your own imperative expense:
I do not mean destruction and exposure,
In case of any premature disclosure;
‘But your own feelings. Even should all the rest
Be hidden by the rolling waves, which hide
Already many a once love-beaten breast
Deep in the caverns of the deadly tide—
You love this boyish, new, seraglio guest,
And if this violent remedy be tried—
Excuse my freedom, when I here assure you,
That killing him is not the way to cure you.’
‘What dost thou know of love or feeling?—Wretch!
Begone!’ she cried, with kindling eyes—‘and do
My bidding!’ Baba vanish’d, for to stretch
His own remonstrance further he well knew
Might end in acting as his own ‘Jack Ketch;’
And though he wish’d extremely to get through
This awkward business without harm to others,
He still preferr’d his own neck to another’s.
Away he went then upon his commission,
Growling and grumbling in good Turkish phrase
Against all women of whate’er condition,
Especially sultanas and their ways;
Their obstinacy, pride, and indecision,
Their never knowing their own mind two days,
The trouble that they gave, their immorality,
Which made him daily bless his own neutrality.
And then he call’d his brethren to his aid,
And sent one on a summons to the pair,
That they must instantly be well array’d,
And above all be comb’d even to a hair,
And brought before the empress, who had made
Inquiries after them with kindest care:
At which Dudu look’d strange, and Juan silly;
But go they must at once, and will I—nill I.
And here I leave them at their preparation
For the imperial presence, wherein whether
Gulbeyaz show’d them both commiseration,
Or got rid of the parties altogether,
Like other angry ladies of her nation,—
Are things the turning of a hair or feather
May settle; but far be ’t from me to anticipate
In what way feminine caprice may dissipate.
I leave them for the present with good wishes,
Though doubts of their well doing, to arrange
Another part of history; for the dishes
Of this our banquet we must sometimes change;
And trusting Juan may escape the fishes,
Although his situation now seems strange
And scarce secure, as such digressions are fair,
The Muse will take a little touch at warfare.

CANTO THE SEVENTH.