“No,” said one of them as he leaned against a tree and talked between laughs, “we are not jagged, but we are willing and it is up to you to do the proper.”
“Up to me,” said I, “what’s chewing you?”
“Oh! not a thing, only I was wondering how you would feel when you found out that the fellow you gave the dollar to was old Josiah Grubb, who is known to be worth two million and is too mean to feed his face regularly.”
Billy, I have had a good many raw turns, but this capped them all. I thought at first I would go back and make him cough that dollar up again, but I only went back to prove that our two new found friends were right. Then I bought wine. This Christmas giving is a great stunt, Billy, and there is certainly one dollar that I have put into safe keeping.
Speaking of Christmas giving reminds me that the average Christmas present is a gift of something that we would like to own to someone who has a very bad opinion of our individual taste.
Dug has a cousin who is attending a theological school in Boston and a couple of days before Christmas, Dug had wired me to send this cousin a suitable present. This was a little out of my line, but I did the best I could and then promptly forgot about it. On Christmas day Dug received a number of presents, and among them a bundle from Clarence Hulburt, the theological student. Dug showed it to me; it consisted of two books, one was Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress,” and the title of the other was “How to Be Good Though Rich.” Dug was laughing.
“What an ass,” said I, “sending such things as that to anyone.”
This waked Dug up to the fact of my buying something for this same fellow and he asked me what I sent him.
“Sent him?” said I. “I sent him the neatest little poker outfit you ever laid your eyes on, four decks of cards and over three hundred chips. The cleanest looking white ones and red ones that would make you bluff on a pair of fours, and blues that were a dream. I never had so many chips on my side of the table at one time, and for a fact, Dug, I hated to see them go.”
Dug turned as pale as a ghost and groaned.