12 P. M.—The decks were swabbed with Apollinaris; the Ingersol night-watch was wound up, the cat put out and the back door locked, and peace brooded over the waters.
Here endeth the second day of the cruise.
THE WIFE’S MORNING AFTER[45] ]
He—“The boys had a rattling time at our house last night.”
She—(surveying the mess)—“Empty beer-bottles, nearly empty whiskey-bottle, half-empty glasses, empty siphons, distorted corks, fragments of sandwiches, remnants of cheese, crumbled crackers, fugitive olive-pits, beer-stained doilies, stream from recumbent catsup-bottle meandering across Aunt Martha’s embroidered centrepiece, cigar and cigarette stubs in salad-bowl—over all a Vesuvian deposit of ashes. And breakfast only twenty minutes away!”
FIRST AID TO THE INJURED[46] ]
In case of a fall from the Water Wagon, prompt action will often save the victim.
While the life-line is being cast and the breeches-buoy rigged, lay the sufferer on his back and spray him thoroughly with a siphon of carbonic until signs of consciousness appear. In the majority of cases his first words will be: “Make mine a rye highball.” You will then repeat the siphon treatment, at the same time making a few passes over him and reciting monotonously in his ear: “Water, water [47] ]everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”