Usually this will produce a condition in which the breeches-buoy can be quickly adjusted and the sufferer hauled back on the Wagon. If it fails, work his arms up and down like pump-handles, and exclaim in threatening tones: “Your wife is coming back on the 5.03 train.” If his eyes remain glazed and his struggles continue, add harshly: “She telegraphs that Mother is coming with her.” Complete coma should result. If not, it can be induced by tactfully whispering: “The next round is on the house.” This has never failed.
The breeches-buoy may now be attached and the sufferer snaked [48] ]aboard the Wagon and lashed to the tank.
During his convalescence a friend should be constantly at his side, reading to him the history of the Johnstown flood. A single chapter has worked wonders.
THE WATER WAGON LIBRARY[49] ]
The following carefully selected list of Books may be had by applying to any of the deck-hands. They need not be returned.
- “D’ri and I” (Batcheller).
- “Many Waters” (Shackleford).
- “The Desert” (White).
- “Many Cargoes” (Jacobs).
- “The Water Babies” (Kingsley).
- “Ebb Tide” (Stevenson).
- “Frenzied Frappes” (Lawson).
- “The Two Van Revellers” (Tankington).
Stop that
Merry-Go-Round!![50] ]
Do things revolve when you retire? Does your room whirl like a fly-wheel in a power-house? Does your trunk go by like the Twentieth Century Limited? Do you feel as if you were looping the loop? If so, you can flag the merry-go-round with one of