Our young friend who is about to become a colyumist might lead off with the jape about the switchman who asked for red oil for his lantern. Then there is that side-stitching sign, “Pants pressed, 10 cents a leg, seats free.”

COMMERCIAL CANDOR.

Sir: A tailor in Denver advertises: “If your clothes don’t fit we make them.” W. V. R.

Heard, by R. M., in a department store: Shoe-polish demonstrator: “And if you haven’t already ruined your shoes with other cleaners this will do the work.”

[p 261]
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FAREWELL!
(By Poeta.)

Comet, Comet, shining bright

In the spaces of the night,

Every hour swinging higher

From the Sun of thy desire;

Astral vagrant, stellar rover,