Name in order the other characters of the narrative, and notice the proportion given to each. Study the ways in which the author makes San a lovable youngster. Take account of his acts, his speeches, what his father thinks of him, what the men do for his protection. In the same way, take stock of the ways whereby Percival is presented as a villain of the lowest type.
Are there too many characters in “Onnie” for best short-story effect?
Plot. Notice that the development of the struggle lies in the latter half of the story. Define this struggle for yourself. With whom do you immediately take sides? Show how the main line of interest (Onnie’s love for San) combines with the second line of interest (the one growing out of the struggle) to make the complication. Is the entanglement logically effected? Give examples. What is the first preparation for the main incident? (See page 34.) “He put in your new bath-tub and Onnie jumped him for going round the house looking at things.” This statement reveals the motivation for Percival’s dislike of Onnie (whom every one else loved) and rationalizes his insult on page 36; it also explains how the villain knew the arrangement of the rooms.
The first developed incident, leading toward the climax, covers pages 35 and 36, beginning with the approach of Percival and ending with his punishment by Sanford.
Study the introduction of the knife and all references to it. What instruments of death in other stories of these collections have plot value?
The climax of the action is told with fine brevity. Study the dénouement, beginning page 42. “He sat up, tearing the blankets back.” The last paragraph is marked by artistic restraint. Compare it with the end of “The Sacrificial Altar.”
Setting. How is the Pennsylvania background integrated with character and action to make the story? Over how many years does the entire action extend? By what devices of transition and by what proportion has the author subdued the time element?
Atmosphere. The latter half of the narrative presents contrast to the first half, in spite of the plot clues. What is the value of this contrast in moods? Has the rain a contributory value? Find other instances in these stories of weather conditions emphasizing the impression. Point out all the instances of dramatic forecast, particularly those which serve to unify the earlier and later portions of the narrative (e.g., “And anything could happen there,” page 28).
MISS WILLETT
The Starting-Point. Mr. Benefield states that it has been so long since he wrote “Miss Willett” that the processes of growth have gone out of his memory. He is sure, however, that the story had its origin in a show-window exhibit on a street in New York, where a negro woman of a most evil expression used to demonstrate a folding bed. “I probably noted the exhibit in a book, left it for weeks or months and then one day when I needed an idea I opened the note-book, turned over the pages, stared at the scribbled note, and the elements of the story as written floated to the center of consciousness and joined in a more or less rough but complete whole. After that it was merely a matter of chiseling it into shape.”—Barry Benefield.