The patient was under my care for five months. He is now back to his dental work. He writes to me that he is gaining rapidly in weight, and is in excellent condition.
III
“I am a married woman of fifty-two. All my life I have been imprisoned in the dungeon keep of fear. Fear paralyzes me in every effort. If I could once overcome my enemy, I would rejoice forever more.
“In childhood everything cowered me. I was bred in fear. At five or six my mother died, and I feared and distrusted a God who would so intimidate me and bereave me. I heard tales of burglars being discovered hiding under beds, and a terrified child retired nightly for years. I was in agony of fears. My fears I never told. Later I heard of the doctrines of God’s foreknowledge, and, as a little rebel, I would place dishes on the pantry shelves, changing from place to place, and then giving up in despair, knowing that if foreknowledge were true, God knew that I would go through with all that performance.
“Through childhood I feared suicide. It was a world of escape that appealed to me and yet appalled me. I also heard of somnambulism, and I never saw a keen bladed knife, but I dreaded that in my sleep I might do damage to myself or to my friends in a state of unconsciousness.
“In my twenties I did attempt suicide a number of times, but somehow they proved unsuccessful. I always aimed to have it appear an accident. I dreaded to have my death appear as a stain and disgrace to my family which I loved.
“I always fear to walk at any height, on a trestle over running walls, or even to walk on a bridge without side railings.
“As a child I was afraid of the dark, I was afraid of going out on the street in a dark night. In fact, even a moonlight night terrified me when I remained alone. I was afraid to go into dark places, such as cellars, or into lonely places even in the daytime.
“As a child I was always shy, fearful, timid, and self-conscious to a painful degree. Even as a grown-up woman I am often a sufferer from the same cause, although I have sufficient self-control to conceal it.
“I have to be careful of my state of health, as the latter is very delicate. I am a chronic sufferer from indigestion and constipation, although I somehow manage to regulate these troubles.