TO
THE RIGHT HONOURABLE
SIR JOHN SCRUB, BART.
AND WINE-MERCHANT,
THIS DEDICATION IS HUMBLY PRESENTED BY THE
AUTHOR.
Your honour's character is too well known in the world to stand in need of a dedication; but I can tell you, that my fortune is not so well settled but I stand in need of a patron. And therefore, since I am to write a dedication, I must, for decency, proceed in the usual method.
First, I then proclaim to the world your high and illustrious birth: that you are, by the father's side, descended from the most ancient and celebrated family of Rome, the Cascas; by the mother's, from Earl Percy. Some indeed have been so malicious as to say, your grandmother kill'd-her-kin: but, I think if the authors of the report were found out, they ought to be hampered. I will allow that the world exclaims deservedly against your mother, because she is no friend to the bottle; otherwise they would deserve a firkin, as having no grounds for what they say. However, I do not think it can sully your fine and bright reputation; for the credit you gained at the battle of Hogshed, against the Duke of Burgundy, who felt no sham-pain, when you forced him to sink beneath your power, and gave his whole army a brush, may in time turn to your account; for, to my knowledge, it put his highness upon the fret. This indeed was no less racking to the king his master, who found himself gross-lee mistaken in catching a tartar. For the whole world allowed, that you brought him a peg lower, by giving him the parting-blow, and making all his rogues in buckram to run. Not to mention your great a-gillity, though you are past your prim-age; and may you never lack-age, with a sparkling wit, and brisk imagination! May your honour also wear long, beyond the common scantling of human life, and constantly proceed in your musical diversions of pipe and sack-but, hunting with tarriers, &c. and may your good humour in saying, "I am-phor-a-bottle," never be lost to the joy of all them that drink your wine for nothing, and especially of,
Your humble servant,
Tom Pun-Sibi.
A SPECIMEN;
A SPICE I MEAN.