I observe that on your sideboard you have several cut-glass decanters, and that each of them is half filled with what appears to be ardent spirits.
Well, now, Deacon, it isn’t anything of the kind. The bottles look so pretty on the sideboard that I just filled them half way with some floor stain and furniture polish, just for appearances.
That’s why I am cautioning you, sister, replied the Deacon. Feeling a trifle weak and faint, I helped myself to a dose from the big bottle in the middle.
An archdeacon engaged as new footman a well-recommended youth who served as stable boy. The first duty which the youth was called upon to perform was to accompany the archdeacon on a series of formal calls.
Bring the cards, Thomas, and leave one at each house, ordered his master. After two hours of visiting from house to house the archdeacon’s list was exhausted. This is the last house, Thomas, he said; leave two cards here.
Beggin’ yor pardon, sir, was the deferential reply, I can’t; I’ve only the ace of spades left.
Senator Gore, of Oklahoma, is given credit for this story, told on his recent visit to a Methodist convention at St. Joseph. It is related by the Rev. Mr. Williams, pastor of the Baptist Church of Pleasant Hill, who happened to hear it.