Mrs. Bocker—No, it was exactly the same way Henry behaved when he got the bill.
English specimen (with monocle)—Aw—do you serve lobstahs here?
Boston waiter—We make no unnecessary inquiries concerning our customers, sir.
This is from a retail grocer, found (not the grocer) in a basket of Florida beans—
Dearest Sweet Pea—Do you carrot all for me? My heart beets for you. With your radish hair and turnip nose, you are the apple of my eye. Give me a date, if we cantaloupe. Lettuce marry anyway. I know we would make a happy pear.
Yes, dear, I was married last month. I’d like you to call on me and see the pretty little flat I have.