An advertisement appeared in a newspaper lately praising a new make of infant’s feeding bottle. Here is the advice it gave relative to its use:
When the infant is done drinking, it must be unscrewed and put in cold place under a tap. If the baby does not thrive on raw milk, it should be boiled.
Jenkins’ mother-in-law was buried one day last week. Jenkins was visibly affected as he followed the hearse.
Bear up, sir, said the undertaker. Don’t cry.
I can’t help it, sighed poor Jenkins. Poor woman! Do you know this is the very first time we have been out together without quarreling?
The stingiest man was scoring the hired man for his extravagance in wanting to carry a lantern in going to call on his best girl.
The idea! he scoffed. When I was courtin’ I never carried no lantern; I went in the dark.