Can you ever forgive me for deceiving you? she sobbed. My—my left eye is made of glass!
Never mind, lovebird, he whispered, gently; so are the diamonds in your engagement ring!
Mrs. Smith presented her husband with triplets, and two weeks later she had twins.
How come?
One of the triplets died.
An inebriated husband, who has returned after a night out, bringing with him nothing but a charlotte russe, finds his wife very angry. I sent you for fish last night and here you have come home with nothing but a charlotte russe.
Husband (startled)—Did she come all the way home with me?