NO TIME TO SAY ALL OF IT
“So,” sobbed Ilma Vladoffovitchskioffsky, “Ivan Nine-spotski died in battle. You say he uttered my name as he was dying?”
“Part of it,” replied the returned soldier—“part of it.”
NO MAIL TO HADES
Willie Hohenzollern (after Berlin fell)—“But, mein friendt, I want to write a letter to papa.”
Yankee Guard—“Nothin’ doin’, Heinie. We don’t have asbestos stationery around here.”
MORE TO THE PURPOSE
Officer—“So you captured a thousand Germans by just calling across No Man’s Land. What did you do—promise them a square deal if they surrendered?”
Yankee Private—“No; I promised them a square meal.”—Life.