“The old fellow took another swig of the corn, and in defiance he swept that snake with his eyes.

“‘Strike, dern you, strike; you will never find me better prepared.’

“That’s the way I feel about the present situation.”

DID HE GET HER MEANING?

“If you refuse to marry me I’ll enlist.”

“What a pity you did not ask me four years ago.”

IT’S THE SHELLS

Waiter—“Yes, sir; omelets has gone up on account of the war.”

Diner—“Great Scott! Are they throwing eggs at each other now?”