Commanding Officer—“Yes, certainly; on what?”
Private Cheek—“In having two such lovely liars in the regiment, because I’m not married at all.”
NOT AS INTENDED
Queen Mary sent a beautiful bouquet that had been presented to her to a soldiers’ hospital. To show their appreciation, the inmates commissioned one of their number to stand at the hospital gate the following morning, holding the gift, when the queen passed. He did so—with rather unexpected results. Queen Mary, seated in her car, saw the soldier standing there, bouquet in hand, and assuming that he wished to present it to her, she reached out and took it. After she had thanked him, her car passed on.
The soldier stood quite dumfounded—then recovering his speech, he said: “Well, she’s pinched ’em.”
CHEERING NEWS
War Correspondent in France—“My editor seems very disappointed; what news can I send to cheer him up?”
Soldier—“Write and tell him you’ve been killed in action.”
WHY THIS DELAY?
Ensign Paul Perez, formerly well known to the screen, is back from another trip to Europe with a brand new seasick story. An amateur navigator making his first trip across is the victim and the first day out he was in the throes of the mal-est mal de mer extant when the ship surgeon visited him in his stateroom.