DON’T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR
Private A—“Some funny things hev happened in this war. I heard of a bloke the other day who lost his right hand and didn’t know it till he tried to take a package of fags out of his pocket!”
Private B—“That’s not so bad; but I heard of a bloke who got his head shot off and didn’t know it till he tried to scratch it!”
YOU’VE SEEN THEM
Dasher—“I don’t believe the war-films we saw last night were taken at the front.”
Mrs. Dasher—“Of course they were; didn’t you notice the bullet-holes at the end of each reel?”—Puck.
PLACING THE BLAME
A sergeant and a private were out sniping. The private was troubled with a cold, and was continually sneezing, which rather annoyed and put the sergeant’s shots off their mark.
“Confound you, Coldhead,” yelled the enraged sergeant at last, “you made me miss again.”
“Well, I didn’t do nothing, sergeant,” exclaimed the private, amazed.