YET THEY FOUGHT NOBLY
Two negroes were discussing the possibilities of being drafted.
“’Tain’t gwine do ’em any good to pick on me,” said Sam. “Ah certainly ain’t gwine do any fightin’. Ah ain’t lost nothin’ oveh in France. Ah ain’t got any quarrel with a-n-ybody, and dey kain’t make me fight.”
The other pondered over this statement for a moment. “Yo right,” he said at length; “Uncle Sam kain’t make you fight. But he can take you where de fightin’ is, and after that you kin use you’ own judgment.”
PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY
During the fighting on the Aisne front one American company pushed out far ahead and lost touch with the neighboring companies on either side. Their zeal in chasing the Germans was leading them into danger of being enfiladed by machine gun fire from the flanks. A major stormed up to the captain.
“Why the hell don’t you hold your men back?” he yelled.
“How the hell can I told ’em back when the whole German army can’t?”
THE QUICKER THE SOONER
“Goodness!” gasped the sergeant of the guard, sticking his head out of the window, “what is the man playing at?”