“Colonel,” he pleaded, “I’ve been in this doggone army more than a year. In that time I’ve scarcely set foot outside this camp. If I don’t get across now, I never will. I’ll be a hell of a soldier, won’t I?”
Col. McCornack leaned back in his chair and laughed.
“Sergeant,” he said, “you’ve got a fine chance of getting any sympathy out of me on that score. I’ve been in the Army twenty years and haven’t got across. What are you kicking about?”
A REAL SPREE
The Liberty Bond squad had some interesting experiences. “I am not subscribing for this $50 Liberty Bond to please you,” explained a woman, as doleful as she is wealthy. “I am doing it to please my own self.”
“Make it $100,” said the young solicitor, “and give yourself one roaring, rousing good time.”
MOVING PICTURE IN ONE REEL
The chaplain of a certain camp was challenged by a sentry with, “Halt! Who goes there?”
The minister answered, “Chaplain.”
“Advance, Charlie,” ordered the sentry, “and be recognized.” For which he was banished to the guardroom.