“Standin’ straight out, guv’nor?” a stolid recruit questioned earnestly.
“Why—er—yes!” the orator responded, in some confusion.
“I should think, then,” the future Tommy announced gravely, “that the wind was blowin’ ’ard.”
PATTING MISSOURI ON THE BACK
We’re glad to see that General Foch is studying this column for ideas to help speed up the winning of the war. A month or so ago we quoted a paragraph of Jack Blanton’s, advising General Foch that, while defensive fighting was all right for awhile, all the great battles of the world had been won by the armies which took the offensive. Yesterday’s papers quoted General Foch to the same effect. We’ve suspected all along that the unofficial boards of strategy in Paris, Mo., and other country towns knew lots more about the war-problems than anybody in Paris, France, and this proves it.—Kansas City Times.
YOU CAN’T BEAT SUCH BOYS
When the lad came to in the shell hole he thought at first somebody had emptied a bucket of warm water on his face and breast. But it happened to be blood from a nasty wound running down his cheek and along his chin. He’d not known, naturally, when it had happened. A little wabbly, he was reaching for his rifle when a field surgeon slid down the bank and confronted him.
“Can you walk?” he asked.
“Sure, why not?” was the reply.