“Well, Colonel,” Duffy began, with his eyes a-twinkle, “when Oi heard the sad news that you was goin’ to l’ave us, it made me so down-hearted that Oi wint to the nearest public house and drowned me sorrows.”
“You win!” exploded the Colonel. “Now get out!”
ASK SOMEONE FROM MISSOURI
A long and patient but vain effort on the part of a khaki-clad driver to induce a mule, drawing what appeared to be a load of laundry, through the gateway of a local hospital, afforded considerable amusement to the doughboys who were watching the proceedings. The mule would do anything but pass through the gateway.
“Want any ’elp, chum?” shouted one of the boys to the driver, as he rested a moment.
“No,” replied the driver, “but I’d like to know how the devil Noah got two of these blighters into the Ark!”
CLARK STREET ENGLISH
American tourists who are shaky as to their French have often been embarrassed by the voluble replies which their carefully studied phrases bring forth from French lips. Just now the tables are frequently turned, and the Frenchman or woman is puzzled by the fluent American vernacular. An example:
Yankee Trooper—“Parly-voo English, mademoiselle?”
French Maid—“Yes, a vairl leetle.”