A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at School

by Catharine Esther Beecher

Another domestic amusement, is, the collecting of shells, plants, and specimens in geology and mineralogy, for the formation of cabinets. If intelligent parents would procure the simpler works which have been prepared for the young, and study them, with their children, a taste for such recreations would soon be developed. The writer has seen young boys, of eight and ten years of age, gathering and cleaning shells from rivers, and collecting plants, and mineralogical specimens, with a delight, bordering on ecstasy; and there are few, if any, who, by proper influences, would not find this a source of ceaseless delight and improvement.

Another resource, for family diversion, is to be found in the various games played by children, and in which the joining of older members of the family is always a great advantage to both parties. All medical men unite, in declaring that nothing is more beneficial to health, than hearty laughter; and surely our benevolent Creator would not have provided risibles, and made it a source of health and enjoyment to use them, if it were a sin so to do. There has been a tendency to asceticism, on this subject, which needs to be removed. Such commands, as forbid foolish laughing and jesting, "which are not convenient;" and which forbid all idle words, and vain conversation, cannot apply to any thing, except what is foolish, vain, and useless. But jokes, laughter, and sports, when used in such a degree as tends only to promote health, social feelings, and happiness, are neither vain, foolish, nor "not convenient." It is the excess of these things, and not the moderate use of them, which Scripture forbids. The prevailing temper of the mind, should be cheerful, yet serious; but there are times, when relaxation and laughter are proper for all. There is nothing better for this end, than that parents and older persons should join in the sports of childhood. Mature minds can always make such diversions more entertaining to children, and can exert a healthful moral influence over their minds; and, at the same time, can gain exercise and amusement for themselves. How lamentable, that so many fathers, who could be thus useful and happy with their children, throw away such opportunities, and wear out soul and body, in the pursuit of gain or fame!

Another resource for children, is in the exercise of mechanical skill. Fathers, by providing tools for their boys, and showing them how to make wheelbarrows, carts, sleds, and various other articles, contribute both to the physical, moral, and social, improvement of their children. And in regard to little daughters, much more can be done, in this way, than many would imagine. The writer, blessed with the example of a most ingenious and industrious mother, had not only learned, before the age of twelve, to make dolls, of various sorts and sizes, but to cut and fit and sew every article, that belongs to a doll's wardrobe. This, which was done for mere amusement, secured such a facility in mechanical pursuits, that, ever afterward, the cutting and fitting of any article of dress, for either sex, was accomplished with entire ease.

When a little girl first begins to sew, her mother can promise her a small bed and pillows, as soon as she has sewed a patch quilt for them; and then a bedstead, as soon as she has sewed the sheets and cases for pillows; and then a large doll to dress, as soon as she has made the under garments; and thus go on, till the whole contents of the baby-house are earned by the needle and skill of its little owner. Thus, the task of learning to sew, will become a pleasure; and every new toy will be earned by useful exertion. A little girl can be taught, by the aid of patterns prepared for the purpose, to cut and fit all articles necessary for her doll. She can also be provided with a little wash-tub, and irons, to wash and iron, and thus keep in proper order a complete miniature domestic establishment.

Besides these recreations, there are the enjoyments secured in walking, riding, visiting, and many others which need not be recounted. Children, if trained to be healthful and industrious, will never fail to discover resources of amusement; while their guardians should lend their aid to guide and restrain them from excess.

There is need of a very great change of opinion and practice, in this Nation, in regard to the subject of social and domestic duties. Many sensible and conscientious men, spend all their time, abroad, in business, except, perhaps, an hour or so at night, when they are so fatigued, as to be unfitted for any social or intellectual enjoyment. And some of the most conscientious men in the Country, will add, to their professional business, public or benevolent enterprises, which demand time, effort, and money; and then excuse themselves for neglecting all care of their children, and efforts for their own intellectual improvement, or for the improvement of their families, by the plea, that they have no time for it. All this, arises from the want of correct notions of the binding obligation of our social and domestic duties. The main object of life, is not to secure the various gratifications of appetite or taste, but to form such a character, for ourselves and others, as will secure the greatest amount of present and future happiness. It is of far more consequence, then, that parents should be intelligent, social, affectionate, and agreeable, at home, and to their friends, than that they should earn money enough to live in a large house, and have handsome furniture. It is far more needful, for children, that a father should attend to the formation of their character and habits, and aid in developing their social, intellectual, and moral nature, than it is, that he should earn money to furnish them with handsome clothes, and a variety of tempting food.

It will be wise for those parents, who find little time to attend to their children, or to seek amusement and enjoyment in the domestic and social circle, because their time is so much occupied with public cares or benevolent objects, to inquire, whether their first duty is not to train up their own families, to be useful members of society. A man, who neglects the mind and morals of his children, to take care of the public, is in great danger of coming under a similar condemnation, to that of him, who, neglecting to provide for his own household, has "denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

There are husbands and fathers, who conscientiously subtract time from their business, to spend at home, in reading with their wives and children, and in domestic amusements which at once refresh and improve. The children of such parents will grow up with a love of home and kindred, which will be the greatest safeguard against future temptations, as well as the purest source of earthly enjoyment.

There are families, also, who make it a definite object to keep up family attachments, after the children are scattered abroad; and, in some cases, secure the means for doing this, by saving money, which would otherwise have been spent for superfluities of food or dress. Some families have adopted, for this end, a practice, which if widely imitated, would be productive of extensive benefit. The method is this. On the first day of each month, some member of the family, at each extreme point of dispersion, takes a folio sheet, and fills a part of a page. This is sealed and mailed to the next family, who read it, add another contribution, and then mail it to the next. Thus the family circular, once a month, goes from each extreme, to all the members of a widely-dispersed family, and each member becomes a sharer in the joys, sorrows, plans, and pursuits, of all the rest. At the same time, frequent family meetings are sought; and the expense, thus incurred, is cheerfully met by retrenchments in other directions. The sacrifice of some unnecessary physical indulgence, (such, for instance, as the use of tea and coffee,) will often purchase many social and domestic enjoyments, a thousand times more elevating and delightful, than the retrenched luxury.

There is no social duty, which the Supreme Lawgiver more strenuously urges, than hospitality and kindness to strangers, who are classed with the widow and the fatherless, as the special objects of Divine tenderness. There are some reasons, why this duty peculiarly demands attention from the American people.