In some portions of our country, the great influx of foreigners of another language and another faith, and the ready entrance they find as domestics into American families, impose peculiar trials and peculiar duties on American housekeepers. In reference to such, it is no less our interest than our duty to cultivate a spirit of kindness, patience, and sympathy.
Especially should this be manifested in reference to their religion. However wrong, or however pernicious we may regard their system of faith, we should remember, that they have been trained to believe that it is what God commands them to obey, and so long as they do believe this, we should respect them for their conscientious scruples, and not try to tempt them to do what they suppose to be wrong. If we lead an ignorant and feeble mind to do what it believes to be wrong, in regard to the most sacred of all duties, those owed to God, how can we expect them to be faithful to us?
The only lawful way to benefit those whom we regard as in an error, is, not to tempt them to do what they believe to be wrong, but to give them the light of knowledge, so that they may be qualified to judge for themselves. And the way to make them willing to receive this light, is to be kind to them. We should take care that their feelings and prejudices should in no way be abused, and that they be treated as we should wish to be, if thrown as strangers into a strange land, among a people of different customs and faith, and away from parents, home, and friends.
Remember that our Master, who is in heaven, especially claims to be the God of the widow, the fatherless, and the stranger, and has commanded, “If a stranger sojourn with you in your land, ye shall not vex him, but the stranger that dwelleth among you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself.”
There is one rule, which every housekeeper will find of incalculable value, not only in the case of domestics, but in the management of children, and that is, never to find fault at the time that a wrong thing is done. Wait until you are unexcited yourself, and until the vexation of the offender is also past, and then, when there is danger of a similar offence, forewarn, and point out the evils already done for want of proper care in this respect.
[CHAPTER XXXI.]
ON THE STYLE OF LIVING AND EXPENSES.
This work is designed primarily for young and inexperienced housekeepers, and the following suggestions are presented as the advice of many judicious and experienced matrons in our country, to their young countrywomen, who are to follow them in the trying duties of housekeeping.
Nothing in this country is a greater source of suffering to housekeepers, than bad taste in their style of living and expenditure. Good taste is that nice perception of fitness and propriety which leads a person to say and do whatever is suitable and appropriate in all possible circumstances. Such good taste is ordinarily the result of good feelings and well-cultivated mind, and an acquaintance with the world. Yet this correct taste is sometimes found in minds that have enjoyed but few advantages, but by nature are endowed with refined feelings and good common sense.
Where this good taste exists, it leads a woman to wish to have her house, furniture, and style of living, in all its parts, exactly conformed to her means, and her situation. If she is not rich, she will not wish to have a house, or furniture, or dress like those who are rich, and will find a pride and pleasure in making a small house, plain furniture, simple dress, and an economical table, so neat, and orderly, and comfortable, and tasteful, as to ensure comfort and satisfaction to all around her. If she cannot command good domestics, nor live comfortably in a house, and with furniture which requires them, she will aim to alter the style of her establishment, and adopt one which can be thoroughly and successfully carried out by such domestics as she can obtain.