Be Patient With Your Child.
For the sake of your child, your own happiness, and the happiness of your home, be patient. In dealing with your little “olive plants,” “let patience have her perfect work,” and of a truth you shall “be perfect and entire wanting nothing.” Much of redeeming grace is needed to enable the parent to be calm and kind under the many trying circumstances connected with the pruning and training of the “fruit of the womb.” It is a source of great joy, however, to know that God's grace is sufficient for me.
Dear parents, the only remedy we have to offer you for this qualification is the sweet controlling influence of saving grace. When you have gained control of your own spirit you are far on the way to conquer the rebellious spirit of your child. How sad it is that a mother who loves her child will find sometimes a feeling of hatred in her heart against it. We have heard mothers in a time of provocation use such [pg 265] words as these, “You foolish thing;” “You naughty little imp;” “You mean thing, I have a mind to put you out where the dogs will get you;” “You do that again and I'll give you to the bad man;” “I'll slap your head off;” “I wish you were dead,” etc. How awful! Mothers, who, if their little one was sick, would gladly sit night after night and watch by its bedside—no slumber for those eyelids now, for baby is very sick—when the dear one is restored to health and provokes the mother, she uses some of the above expressions, or similar ones.
As you stand some night by the casket that contains that lifeless little body, oh, what anguish at heart as you remember the hasty words you have spoken to that dear one. How those ugly expressions ring in your ears. They will follow you for days in thought and dream. How sad that the human heart is of such disposition, but what joy to know that the precious blood of Jesus will remove all such dispositions and fill the heart with love and sweetness that will enable you to deal with your child in loving patience, even in the hour of deepest trial, and should you be called to its death bedside you can look into the pale face and then up to God without a sting of conscience. Parents, be firm, but be patient with your child. Let love shine out of every reproval and you will find it is not so difficult to train him and govern him as you supposed.
Never Scold Or Threaten.
How heart-rending to see almost a constant contention between parents and children, parents scolding their children for almost every little thing, and threatening to “give them to the Gypsies,” or to “cut off their ears,” or “put a split stick on their tongues,” and many other foolish and hurtful threatenings, father and mother make when they are provoked. Be always calm in your own feelings and never be hasty to speak or act. When the child really needs reproval, take him quietly and show him the evil of such things, how it will lead to other bad things, and these to others, and should he continue in that way he would grow up to be a bad man. Tell him how you love him, and how you want to see him become a good and noble man, a blessing to his parents, to the community, and to the world. Tell him you hope he will not do those bad things any more, and should he do them you would be under obligations to punish him.
If the child is reasoned with rightly the corporal punishment will not be of frequent necessity. It is a shame and a sin to act so hastily and punish your little ones in some way without patiently and coolly explaining matters.
Give Your Child Some Privilege.
Do not answer, “No,” to every request of your child. Allow them some privilege, let them engage in certain plays. Do not be so fastidious in your home [pg 267] that the little ones can not have a little play indoors. Certainly they should be taught to be clean, to remove dirt from their shoes before coming into the house, and not to tumble things all up in the room, yet they should not be expected to sit perfectly still.
When the child makes a request of you that your wisdom decides best not to grant do not answer by a decided “no,” but tell the little one that you think it not best to do so, and be firm. When you tell him you do not think it best do not be persuaded out of it, and he will soon learn that your mild “I do not think it best to give you that,” means just as much as a sharp “no,” but his feelings will not be disturbed like they are by that hasty “no.”