“Enter coachman: ‘I leaves you here, if you please, sir.’
“‘Just as you please; I have no objection,’ says a satirical passenger.
“‘Please to remember the coachman—driven you forty-five miles.’
“‘Yes, but you will recollect you were very impertinent about my wife’s bandbox;—there’s a shilling, between us, for you.’
“‘Oh! sir, I’m sure I didn’t mean no unperliteness—I hopes you von’t think nothink about it; it were wery aggravising that the box was forgot, but I hopes you’ll give me a trifle more—forty-five miles.’
“‘No, no more—so be off.’...
“‘Please to remember the coachman, ma’am—forty-five miles. Leave you here, sir, if you please—go no further, sir—forty-five miles, ma’am.’...
“‘Now, ladies and gentlemen, the coach is quite ready: time’s up,’ says the guard, entering the room....
“‘What’s dinner, waiter?’
“‘Two-and-three, and eighteenpence—one-and-eightpence—is three-and-eleven, sir,’ says the cunning waiter, whose artful arithmetic is decidedly not ‘according to Cocker.’ ‘Yours is three-and-sixpence, ma’am—two glasses brandy and water. Yours is four shillings, sir—a bottle of real Devonshire cider, sir.’...