[JOURNAL.]
October 1.—Steamers left yesterday at 3 p.m. for (Berber, D.V., viâ) Shendy. Yesterday the steamer Towfikia attacked the Arabs on the White Nile, and killed a horse and three men. Steamer Bordeen drove back the horsemen on the Blue Nile. The Arabs attacked a village lower down the White Nile than Halfeyeh, and were driven back by the villagers with loss: you may believe as much as you like of this, but our vessels went out, that is the main thing.
The more I think of appointing Abdel Kader[94] Pasha in my place, the more strongly does the idea recommend itself, for it does away with all difficulties, and leaves Her Majesty’s Government perfectly free to abandon or not as it thinks fit. Abdel Kader Pasha would be under no such obligations as I am to the soldiers, &c., of these beleaguered places, and Her Majesty’s Government could put it all on him if anything was said. To me it has the selfish advantage of being free at once of a very disagreeable and troublesome position, both personally and publicly.
As for feeling at all vexed at this arrangement, viz. my being put out, I should not, for the only thing which actuates me is this: I think it mean to leave the garrisons; but if my superiors decide to do so, and will take the responsibility, then what am I? to dispute their decision, the more especially as I cannot do so without funds, which I have not. I do not dispute but that the withdrawal of the garrisons is not a difficult task, but not impossible; and if not impossible, our honour binds us to fulfil it, and to my mind it is shabby not to do it: but Governments do shabby things, vide the Boer business, and if they are going to do it here, the way I have pointed out is the best. There is not the least reason for me to participate in its execution, it would not be fair to try and force me, and another thing is that I would not be forced. I believe Her Majesty’s Government will adopt this idea, and if they do, I see a vista of an escape with honour and without fracas (which is very pleasing), from a position which is not likely to be a feather-bed, and which might require me to go on struggling for over a year, not only against the Arabs, but against the antipathies and ill-disguised hostility of Her Majesty’s Government, for certainly they would not be over friendly if forced into a line of action their soul abhors.
I think we are bound to extricate the garrisons whatever it costs; they do not; there is no reason for any difference of opinion which cannot exist between a Government and an individual, they simply place an individual who thinks with them, and the matter is done, and this individual is Abdel Kader Pasha. I see no reason to try and force me to do what I do not think right, and which I can consequently do only in a half-hearted manner if I even undertook it, which I will not.
As for the effect of my replacement by Abdel Kader Pasha: 1st, it would produce no surprise, for it is well known I and Towfik are not at all friends. 2nd, it is also known that Her Majesty’s Government wish to be rid of all responsibility of the Soudan, in re the garrisons; therefore the removal of me would be merely the carrying out of this policy. 3rd, Abdel Kader Pasha is the best man they have had up here, and so, till the matter was broken to them, he would be well received. It is not vaunting myself when I say that the general opinion here is this, that Her Majesty’s Government would never have sent an expedition up here had it not had me and Stewart here, sent up by them![95] I think they fully realise, that as far as the garrisons, &c., &c., were concerned, were it not for us they might perish as quickly as they liked; they also realise that, unless for the action of Her Majesty’s Government at Cairo, assistance would have been sent long ago from Cairo, so it must not be expected of the people to be very grateful. They are glad to get out of their mess, but consider they are only extricated under compulsion of circumstances, and not con amore.