EXCELLENT TESTIMONIAL FROM MY BISHOP—MY RETREAT—GRAND VICAR SAURIN AND HIS ASSISTANT, REV. M. GRANGER—GRAND VICAR DUNN WRITES ME ABOUT THE NEW STORM PREPARED BY THE JESUITS—BISHOP SMITH, ORDERS ME BACK TO DUBUQUE—HE REJECTS THE ACTS OF SUBMISSION—THE VOICE OF GOD—THE BISHOP REQUIRES A NEW ACT OF SUBMISSION—I REFUSE IT—VISION—CHRIST OFFERS HIMSELF AS A GIFT—I AM FORGIVEN, RICH HAPPY AND SAVED—BACK TO MY PEOPLE.
Bishop Smith had fulfilled his promise in addressing to me a testimonial letter, which would show to both friends and foes that the most honorable and lasting peace between us was to succeed the deplorable years of strife through which we had just passed. I read it with grand vicar Dunn, who was not less pleased than I with the kind expressions of esteem towards my people and myself with which it was filled. I had never had a document in which my private and public character were so kindly appreciated. I put it in my portfolio as the most precious treasure I had ever possessed, and my gratitude to the bishop who had written such friendly lines, was boundless. I, at once, addressed a short letter to thank and bless him: and I requested him to pray for me during the happy days of retreat I was to spend at the monastery of St. Joseph.
The venerable grand vicar Saurin, and his assistant, Rev. M. Granger, received me as two Christian gentlemen receive a brother priest, and I may say that, during my stay in the monastery, they constantly overwhelmed me with the most sincere marks of kindness. I found in them both the very best types of priests of Rome. A volume, and not a chapter, would be required, were I to tell what I saw there of the zeal, devotedness, ability and marvellous success of their labors. Suffice it to say, that grand vicar Saurin is justly considered one of the largest and highest intellects Rome has ever given to the United States. There is not, perhaps, a man who has done so much for the advancement of that church in this country as that highly gifted priest. My esteem, respect, I venture to say, my veneration for him, increased every time I had the privilege of conversing with him. The only things which pained me were:
1st. When some of his inferior monks came to speak to him, they had to kneel and prostrate themselves as if he had been a god, and they had to remain in that humble and degrading posture, till, with a sign of his hand or a word from his lips, he told them to rise.
2nd. Though he promised to the numerous Protestant parents, who entrusted their boys and girls to his care for their education, never to interfere with their religion, he was, nevertheless, incessantly proselytizing them. Several of his Protestant pupils were received in the Church of Rome, and renounced the religion of their fathers, in my presence, on the eve of Easter of that year.
While, as a priest, I rejoiced in the numerous conquests of my church over her enemies, in all our colleges and nunneries, I objected to the breach of promise, always connected with those conversions. I, however, then thought, as I think to-day, that a Protestant who takes his children to a Roman Catholic priest or nun for their education, had no religion.
It is simply an absurdity to promise that we will respect the religion of a man who has none. How can we respect that which does not exist?
As a general thing, there are too few people who understand the profound meaning of our Saviour’s words to his disciples: “Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and rest a while.” These words, uttered after the apostles had gathered themselves together unto Jesus, and told him all things both what they had done and taught, ought to receive more attention, on the part of those whom the Son of God has chosen to continue the great work of preaching his Gospel to the world. I had never before so well realized how good it was to be alone with Christ, and tell him all I had done, said and thought. Those few days of rest and communion with my Saviour were one of the greatest favors my merciful God had ever given me.
My principal occupation was to read and meditate on the Gospel. That divine book had never been so precious to me as since God had directed me to put it as the fundamental stone of my faith in the act of submission I had just given to my bishop: and my church had never been so dear to me as since she had accepted that conditional submission. I felt a holy pride and joy at having finally silenced the voice of the enemy which, so often, troubled my faith by crying to my soul: “Do you not see that in your Church of Rome, you do not follow the Word of God, but only the lying traditions of men.” My church, through her bishop, had just given me what I considered an infallible assurance of the contrary, by accepting the document signed by me and my people, where we had clearly said that we would never obey any authority or any superior, except when “their orders or doctrines would be based upon the Gospel of Christ.” My soul was rejoicing in those thoughts, when, on the 5th of April (Monday after Easter) grand vicar Saurin handed me a letter from Mr. Dunn, telling me that a new storm, brought by the Jesuits, and more formidable than the past ones, was about to break on me; that I had to prepare for new and more serious conflicts than I had ever experienced.
The next morning, Mr. Saurin handed me another letter from the Bishop of Dubuque, and with a sympathy which I will never forget, he said: