CHAPTER XLII.
GORDON'S JOURNALS.
Gordon's journals began on 10th September, 1884, and continued to 14th December, 1884. Want of space renders it necessary to give but a few extracts.
Gordon seems to have felt the announcement that the object of Lord Wolseley's expedition was to relieve him not less acutely than the neglect with which he had been treated by the Government. More than once he recurs to the subject, and the receipt of some newspapers mentioning the departure of the Gordon Relief Expedition drew from him the following comments:—
"I altogether decline the imputation that the projected expedition has come to relieve me; it has come to save our national honour in extricating the garrisons, &c., from the position our action in Egypt has placed these garrisons in.... I came up to extricate the garrisons and failed; Earle comes up to extricate garrisons, and, I hope, succeeds. Earle does not come to extricate me.... I am not the rescued lamb, and will not be."
In another passage he refers again to the personal question:—
"It may be said that the object of the present expedition is for my relief personally; but how is it possible for me to go away and leave men whom I have egged on to fight?"
On the subject of how the expedition should advance, and of what it ought to do on arrival, he wrote the following:—
"My view is this, as to the operations of British forces. I will put three steamers, each with two guns on them, and an armed force of infantry at disposal of any British authority. Will send these steamers to either Metammeh, opposite Shendy, or to the cataract below Berber to there meet any British force which may come across country to the Nile. These steamers with this force coming across country will (D.V.) capture Berber and then communicate with Khartoum.... When Berber is taken I should keep the bulk of the forces there, and send up the fighting column to Khartoum."
On the same subject he adds:—