Yea! by St. Valentinus,
Emma shall not be minus
What all young ladies, whate’er their grade is,
Expect to-day no doubt:
Emma the fair, the stately—
Whom I beheld so lately,
Smiling beneath the snow-white wreath
Which told that she was “out.”
Wherefore fly to her, swallow,
And mention that I’d “follow,”
And “pipe and trill,” et cetera, till
I died, had I but wings:
Say the North’s “true and tender,”
The South an old offender;
And hint in fact, with your well-known tact,
All kinds of pretty things.
Say I grow hourly thinner,
Simply abhor my dinner—
Tho’ I do try and absorb some viand
Each day, for form’s sake merely:
And ask her, when all’s ended,
And I am found extended,
With vest blood-spotted and cut carotid,
To think on Her’s sincerely.
“HIC VIR, HIC EST.”
Often, when o’er tree and turret,
Eve a dying radiance flings,
By that ancient pile I linger
Known familiarly as “King’s.”
And the ghosts of days departed
Rise, and in my burning breast
All the undergraduate wakens,
And my spirit is at rest.
What, but a revolting fiction,
Seems the actual result
Of the Census’s enquiries
Made upon the 15th ult.?
Still my soul is in its boyhood;
Nor of year or changes recks.
Though my scalp is almost hairless,
And my figure grows convex.
Backward moves the kindly dial;
And I’m numbered once again
With those noblest of their species
Called emphatically ‘Men’:
Loaf, as I have loafed aforetime,
Through the streets, with tranquil mind,
And a long-backed fancy-mongrel
Trailing casually behind:
Past the Senate-house I saunter,
Whistling with an easy grace;
Past the cabbage-stalks that carpet
Still the beefy market-place;
Poising evermore the eye-glass
In the light sarcastic eye,
Lest, by chance, some breezy nursemaid
Pass, without a tribute, by.
Once, an unassuming Freshman,
Through these wilds I wandered on,
Seeing in each house a College,
Under every cap a Don:
Each perambulating infant
Had a magic in its squall,
For my eager eye detected
Senior Wranglers in them all.
By degrees my education
Grew, and I became as others;
Learned to court delirium tremens
By the aid of Bacon Brothers;
Bought me tiny boots of Mortlock,
And colossal prints of Roe;
And ignored the proposition
That both time and money go.