How important is sex in marriage? Does it have much to do with the happiness one derives from marriage? Or is sex merely important in reproduction?
While sex may not be the most important factor in marriage, it frequently makes or breaks a marriage. And a satisfying adjustment on the level of physical love is closely associated with marital happiness. Probably the most important thing in making a marriage successful is the determination of both mates to make the marriage work. Companionship and the mutual working out of problems together are the fruits of happy marriages. But couples are rarely good companions if they have repressions or fears or maladjustments which thwart their achieving a satisfying unity on the physical level.
Some experts have estimated that during the first few years of marriage nearly half of marriage happiness depends on the sexual adjustment achieved. This does not seem unreasonable because sex provides the first rush of desire that launches the marriage and continues to integrate the couple and bring a sense of harmony to their union.
As the years pass couples achieve an increasingly satisfying adjustment and the union of their bodies at frequent intervals in climactic pleasure provides a bond between them. The experience also is important in reducing the tensions that develop in both mates during the course of their daily living. These tensions are of many kinds but they include the sexual tension which results from hormones being poured into the blood streams of both the man and woman. The exhilarating orgasms that come as a climax in successful coitus break these tensions and produce satisfying feelings of relaxation and serenity.
One of the misfortunes of modern marriage is that so many married couples are not able to achieve a satisfactory sexual adjustment. Studies have shown that at least a third of all wives rarely experience orgasm and at least half of all wives do not experience it with any great regularity. The major reasons for their failure are:
—Most wives are more inhibited and repressed than their husbands.
—Most young wives have less actual sex drive than their husbands.
—The husbands in too many cases are inconsiderate of the wife and are primarily concerned in achieving satisfaction for themselves.
Too often sex—instead of being a bond—becomes a quarreling point between the couple. Both are resentful. Such feelings tend to increase tension rather than reduce it.
Because sex is so vital to the happiness of a marriage, we suggest that both you and your mate read a good book on sexual adjustment (see [bibliography]) so that you will know what to expect and won’t be frightened by the thought of it.