Even saving money can be a common goal that will develop companionship, especially if the couple are saving the money for something they both want badly such as a car or a long-dreamed-of vacation trip. In general a young couple earning between eighteen hundred and three thousand dollars a year can well aim to save at least five per cent and better still ten per cent of the income. If they strive for a percentage much higher than that they may find it entails too great a denial.
Similarly the goal of a couple may be to raise a large happy family. They plan the arrival of their children and, working as a team, guide the growth and development of each child.
After Thoughts
By now we hope we have helped you clarify in your mind the kind of mate you want—and need. We have raised a good many thoughts you should bear in mind in selecting your mate. It is doubtful that you—or anyone—will find a mate who fits letter perfect into all the qualifications we have mentioned in the course of the book as desirable in mates, but that is not important. What is important is that your mate should fit into the general pattern of the kind of person you need, and should be free from the really serious short-comings we have mentioned.
Perhaps the most important single thought we can leave with you is that the person you marry should be one who will give you a sense of well-being. Marriage to this person should end your vague feelings of restlessness.
We know a young married couple who have “everything.” They live in a well-to-do suburb, belong to a country club and are not “tied down” by children. They go to many parties and on week-end excursions and eat out whenever they feel like it. Yet they go about their rush of activities with the bored futility of a dog chasing his own tail.
And we know another couple who are the kind some people would feel sorry for. They have four whooping youngsters that virtually pin them to the homestead and make outside social life impossible. They must fight a constant battle with living costs to get ahead financially. During most of their free moments they must work about their house, upholstering furniture, fixing leaking faucets or hanging storm windows.
Yet these two mates are immensely happy in marriage. They have a sense of purpose in life—a sense of well-being. They are so glad they are married to each other that they can shrug off the many irritations that beset them as unimportant. Both of them would confide to you that marriage is a wonderful, enriching experience.