A youngster who was reared by parents who were well balanced emotionally, who were ready listeners to his problems, who explained comprehensively the magic and mystery of sex functions to him, will usually be ready to face the problems of sexual adolescence. During adolescence he will be subjected to many strains. He will undergo many glandular changes and begin to have sexual capacity. The reproductive apparatus approaches maturity between the ages of twelve and fourteen. The boy has emissions. The girl begins to menstruate. Both often are disturbed or even frightened by these new functions, unless the parent has been wise enough to prepare them for the changes.
During adolescence they start “dating,” which at first is done self-consciously and awkwardly. Their state of mind is made more nervous if the parents tease or ridicule these first steps in courting.
When the boy and girl emerge from adolescence about the age of eighteen, they have achieved sexual maturity if all has gone well. If so:
—There is freedom from repression and inhibitions concerning sex.
—There is no disgust or aversion as far as sex is concerned.
—Likewise there is no abnormal curiosity or longing for sexual information or experience.
—He or she may still be shy or self-conscious at first when in the presence of someone of the opposite sex but both soon get over it when they find activities to share. This is normally easy because by eighteen youngsters have acquired skill in dancing, card playing, sports, hobbies, and conversing.
If by eighteen or twenty a person hasn’t acquired sexual maturity in the sense described, it might be a good idea to consult a marriage counseling bureau, a college psycho-educational clinic, a psychologist or some other person trained in helping normal people achieve normal adjustments.
How Old Are You Emotionally? This is by far the most significant of all your ages in determining your readiness to marry! Most of the research on marriage indicates that people who lack “emotional maturity” rarely achieve a happy marriage.