Are You Aggressive? A man may offend decent girls by being aggressively “on the make.” A girl may be aggressive by being a “gold-digger,” and scare men away by being both expensive and inconsiderate. Or she may be aggressive simply in the sense that she is worried about the shortage of males and sets out grimly to get a man before it is too late. In match-making, man is jealously proud of his role of pursuer and does not want his traditional role usurped by the skirted sex. Thus most men resent overt signs of aggression by a girl.
Are You Repelling Physically? Most girls like to have a man who is taller than they are. Feelings of prestige are involved.
Poor health, extreme tallness or shortness, extreme obesity or thinness, very dark or very light complexion, poor motor coördination, seriously impaired vision, impaired hearing, unbecoming teeth, body odor, a general appearance of being weak and easily tired detract greatly from one’s personality. Other things that detract are bizarre features such as tattoos, the appearance of being under-sexed. In general a person should never be more than twenty per cent over or under the weight for his height.
In these days of modern medical science, plastic surgery, orthodentistry, dermatology, etc., a girl or man can get rid of most irregular features. And those that can’t be removed can be overshadowed. The physical paralysis of the late President Roosevelt did not influence people negatively because of the great personal charm of the man. The impairment of hearing of Thomas Edison did not diminish the respect and liking that people had for his genius.
Odor is tremendously important in the impressions that one makes on others. It is believed that one of the reasons men like women and women like men is that their respective odors are agreeable to each other. Halitosis, perspiration odors, clothing odors resulting from wearing clothing in places of work where the air is redolent with manufacturing processes, may ruin your chances for marrying the one you want. Almost any girl or man who is in good health, who is willing to take care of his teeth, who avoids wearing clothing saturated with occupational odors and who is careful to avoid perspiration smells can be wholesome and fragrant. Perfume should be used to enhance the true natural body odor of the individual and not to mask unpleasant ones.
Actually, physical appearances rarely need hurt seriously a person’s chances of marriage providing they retain self-assurance. The trouble is that a person with a prominent nose or big feet is so concerned about the specific defects that he convinces himself he presents an ugly appearance. He develops feelings of inferiority, and that is where the real trouble begins.
The person who holds his head up, who can look you straight in the eye, whose face is animated when he talks, is better looking and better liked than the individual who does not do these things. The restful physical position, the alert face and animated expression convey to others the feeling that you are poised. Poise and self-confidence make up a large part of “good looks.”
Assuming that after reading this chapter you have concluded you have some bad habits that are hurting your chances of getting a desirable mate, how can the habit be broken? It is not easy. There are two major thoughts to keep in mind in trying to break a habit. First, once you decide to break the habit, you must not let any exception occur. The reforming drunkard who has trouble walking past bars knows that just one nip will set off a chain of violations. The longer he can keep from drinking the weaker the urge to drink becomes and soon he can pass bars without any trouble at all, and in fact with scorn. The second idea in breaking a habit is to substitute something in the habit’s place. A person wants to stop eating sweets. Several years ago one of the cigarette manufacturers sold millions of cigarettes by proposing that a person with a sweet-tooth should reach for a cigarette instead of a sweet. This was the principle of substitution. A substitute for a boy who bites his fingernails may be something like this. He can reason: