He was much puzzled by a note of the Lieutenant-Governor’s lady. On quitting St. Helena for England, she had told us that the law forbade her taking charge of any letter; but that she would have great pleasure in being useful to us in any other way. I had sent to her, for my London friends, some articles which had been used by the Emperor, or which had come from himself. A small silver inkstand, I believe, some words in his hand-writing, perhaps some of his hair; I know not what. These I called precious relics. Mrs. Skelton had replied that she would treat them with all the respect they deserved, but that she must confess to me she had not been able to resist the temptation of taking a small portion of them.
Sir Hudson Lowe could not account for my being either unable or unwilling to state what those precious objects were. I should be mortified if they should have brought any disagreeable consequences on this lady. I had merely kept the note in memory, and in token of respect for her. Mr. and Mrs. Skelton were a moral and virtuous couple, whom we had much injured, though undoubtedly against our wish; but their politeness and attention to us had constantly increased with the harm we did them. Our arrival in the island had caused their being dispossessed of Longwood, losing their situation, and being sent back to Europe, where they must be without a provision.
At last, after a time, the famous clandestine documents came out in their turn: my letter to Prince Lucien, and the one to my London acquaintance. Sir Hudson Lowe had caused them to be carefully copied, but with many chasms, from not having been able to read all, certain words being found effaced upon the satin, owing to the documents having been accidentally wetted since I had parted with them. I carried my complaisance and good nature so far as to restore them; and then a sort of interrogatory commenced.
The Governor’s attention was much engaged by two points, which he had it deeply at heart to clear up, if, he said, I had no objection to it. The first question was relative to these words of my letter to Prince Lucien: “Those who surround us complain bitterly that their letters are falsified in the public papers,” &c. It was asked of me who these persons were. The Aide-de-camp held his pen to take down my answers. I desired he would write that, seeing no inconvenience in answering, I would do so, but entirely of my own accord; for that, if the Governor thought to question by virtue of his authority, I should be silent; and I then said, “that those words of my letter were vague, general, and without any application whatever; that they were what had been said to us by every one, when they sought to console us for the very improper expressions or descriptions regarding us, which we occasionally found in the London papers, under the date of St. Helena.”
The Governor’s second question applied to my private letter. It contained, amongst others, a request to ask Lord Holland whether he had received the parcels I had directed to him. Sir Hudson Lowe inquired what those parcels were, and by whom I had forwarded them, &c.; and here he visibly redoubled the mildness of his deportment, in order to obtain a satisfactory answer, confessing that he had no right to compel me to reply; but it would be, he said, the means of materially expediting and simplifying my own affair, &c. I replied, rather in a solemn manner, that this point was my secret, which evidently created an impression upon the physiognomy of Sir Hudson Lowe; and, my words being taken down as I uttered them, I continued to dictate, adding that the answer I had just given was only that which my education and habits prompted me to give, that any other might have given rise to the Governor’s doubts, and that it was not proper I should expose the veracity of my words to the smallest suspicion; that, after this preliminary statement, however, I had no longer any objection to declare that I never, in all my life, had any communication with Lord Holland. This unexpected conclusion was a coup de théâtre, quite a comedy-scene; it would be difficult to describe the surprise of the Governor, the astonishment of the officers; the pen stopped in the writer’s hand. Sir Hudson Lowe did not hesitate to reply that he fully believed me, but that he must confess he could not understand the business at all. I confessed, in my turn, that I could not help laughing at the perplexity I caused him, but that I had told him all. The fact is, I had intended, when my servant should return, to intrust him besides with several authentic documents upon our situation, for Lord Holland: but I had not been allowed time for so doing; they had come too soon to take me away. I had the honour of knowing his Lordship only by the nobleness and dignity of his public conduct; but to transmit the truth to him, as an hereditary legislator of his country, and a member of the supreme court of Great Britain, appeared to me very proper in us both, and equally becoming and serviceable to the honour of the British character.
MY ANXIETIES.—A LETTER FROM THE EMPEROR,
A REAL BLESSING.
16th.—More than twenty days had elapsed, and nothing as yet announced any change in our dreadful situation. My son’s illness continued to exhibit the most alarming symptoms; my health was visibly declining through grief and anxiety. Our confinement was so strict that we had not yet heard a single word from Longwood; I was quite ignorant how my unfortunate affair had been interpreted there; I had merely learnt that the Emperor had not left his apartment during the last fifteen or eighteen days and had almost always taken his meals there alone. What did I not suffer from these circumstances! The Emperor had evidently been affected, but in what manner? Shall I own it? this doubt was, to me, a source of absolute torment; it haunted me at every moment since I had quitted Longwood: for the Emperor was perfectly ignorant of the cause of my being carried off; fate had so ordained it. What would he have thought, on hearing about my clandestine letters? What would have been his opinions, what motive would he assign to my disguise towards him; I, who from habit, would not have stirred a step, or hazarded an expression, without communicating with him? I coupled these faults, which I even exaggerated, with the affecting kindness of the last moments I had passed with him. Some minutes before I was torn away from him, he was more cheerful towards me, seemed even better disposed than usual; and, some moments later, he had perhaps been led to find something mysterious in my conduct. The appearance of the right of reproach and of doubt had perhaps already risen in his mind. This idea grieved me more than I could express, and visibly affected my health. Fortunately, the Governor came to restore me to life. He presented himself towards evening, appearing much taken up with what he had to tell me, and, after a long preamble, which it was difficult for me to understand, he concluded by informing me, that he held in his hand a letter, which my situation gave him the right to withhold from me; but that he knew how dear to me was the hand that wrote it, how much I valued the sentiments which it expressed, and that he was, therefore, going to shew it to me, notwithstanding the many personal motives he might have for not doing so! It was a letter from the Emperor!
Whatever harm Sir Hudson Lowe may have done to us, whatever his motives may have been, at this moment, I owe him a real obligation for the happiness he afforded me; and, when I recollect it, I am tempted to reproach myself for many details and certain imputations; but I owed them to truth, and to considerations of the highest importance. I shewed myself so much affected that he appeared to be moved by it, and consented to my request of being allowed to take a copy of what was strictly personal in the letter. My son copied it in a hurry, so much did we dread lest he should alter his mind; and when he left us, we re-copied it in many ways and in many places; we even learnt it by heart, so great was our fear that the night’s reflections might occasion Sir Hudson Lowe to repent. And, in fact, when he re-appeared the next morning, he expressed to me his regret on the subject; and I did not hesitate to offer to return to him the copy I had taken, assuring him that I should not feel the less grateful. We had ensured to ourselves the means of being generous without inconvenience. Whether he suspected that such was the case, or whether from a continuation of the same kindness, I know not; but he declined my offer. I shall now lay before the reader that letter, the original of which was kept by Sir Hudson Lowe, which he gave me his word should share the same fate as my other papers, and which I nevertheless had all possible trouble to obtain, when the English Government, after Napoleon’s death, thought that they could not avoid restoring my Journal to me. I shall transcribe here those passages of the letter which Sir Hudson Lowe allowed me to copy at the time, and such as they were published after my return to Europe; those parts which he kept back are thrown into the notes, at the bottom of the pages: the two together will form the whole of the original.
“My dear Count de Las Cases,—My heart is deeply affected by what you now experience. Torn from me a fortnight ago, you have been ever since closely confined, without the possibility of my receiving any news from you, or sending you any; without having had any communication with any person, either French or English; deprived even of the attendance of a servant of your own choice.
“Your conduct at St. Helena has been, like the whole of your life, honourable and irreproachable; I have pleasure in giving you this testimony.