Tzŭ Chang asked: What must a man do in order to be considered distinguished?—The Master said: What do you mean by the term "distinguished"?—Tzŭ Chang replied: I mean one whose fame fills both his own private circle and the State at large.—The Master said: That is notoriety, not distinction. The man of true distinction is simple, honest, and a lover of justice and duty. He weighs men's words, and observes the expression of their faces.[25] He is anxious to put himself below others. Such a one is truly distinguished in his private and his public life. As to the man who is merely much talked about, he puts on an appearance of charity and benevolence, but his actions belie it. He is self-satisfied and has no misgivings. Neither in private nor in public life does he achieve more than notoriety.
Tzŭ Kung asked a question about friendship. The Master said: Be conscientious in speaking to your friend, but tactful in your efforts to guide him aright. If these fail, stop. Do not court a personal rebuff.
The Duke of Shê addressed Confucius, saying: We have an upright man in our country. His father stole a sheep, and the son bore witness against him.—In our country, Confucius replied, uprightness is something different from this. A father hides the guilt of his son, and a son hides the guilt of his father. It is in such conduct that true uprightness is to be found.
Fan Ch‘ih asked a question about moral virtue. The Master said: In private life, show self-respect; in the management of affairs, be attentive and thorough; in your dealings with others, be honest and conscientious. Never abandon these principles, even among savages.
The Master said: The nobler sort of man is accommodating but not obsequious; the inferior sort is obsequious but not accommodating.
The nobler sort of man is easy to serve yet difficult to please. Who seeks to please him in wrongful ways will not succeed. In exacting service from others, he takes account of aptitudes and limitations. The baser sort of man is difficult to serve yet easy to please. Who seeks to please him in any wrongful way will assuredly succeed. And he requires absolute perfection in those from whom he exacts service.
The nobler sort of man is dignified but not proud; the inferior man is proud but not dignified.
Hsien said: To refrain from self-glorification, to subdue feelings of resentment, to control selfish desire—may this be held to constitute perfect virtue?—The Master said: These things may certainly be considered hard to achieve, but I am not so sure that they constitute perfect virtue.[26]