Enter Percy Heartache, L.
Percy (perplexed). Well, this is a great state of affairs. I don’t know how I am to get out of the mess I am in. Who would ever have dreamed of such a thing as that girl I corresponded with through the foolish matrimonial advertisement would be here? Why, I never saw her, and I only answered her letters for fun. The idea of her going so far as to come here to board! It is ridiculous. But to make matters worse (shaking his head sadly) Helen sends me an invitation to come over this afternoon and get acquainted with her parents. The two letters arrived at the same time, and both bear the same initials. (Takes letters from pocket and again shakes his head.) Well (bracing up), I made up my mind to come here and make a clean breast of it to Helen, and I came an hour earlier, so I might learn my fate as soon as possible. I wish I could see her without going to the house. Ah! here she comes now, as I live!
Enter Hel., R. Hurries to the churn and starts churning.
Hel. Oh, dear! I wish the butter would come. (Churns vigorously.) I won’t have time to dress before Percy gets here. The dear fellow. I know he will surely come.
(Percy brightens up and steps softly toward her. Hel. has her back to him and has not seen him.)
Percy. Ahem!
Hel. (stops churning and turns). Oh! is it you, Mr. Heartache?
Percy. Yes, Miss Rodney. I came over a little early, because I have something to say to you. It is of a rather serious nature, and has been worrying me ever since I went to the post-office last night. (Walks to L.)
Hel. (aside). Gracious! It can’t be that he is going to propose. (Walks toward Percy.) What is it, Mr. Heartache? Perhaps I might be able to advise you.