"'Ah, bad scran to 'em,' says he; 'there's thim cows in me field agin,' says he. 'Ax Dora, here she comes,' an' away he wint as she come in, an' I axed her phat D. O. C. shpelt; an' she towld me her name, an' I go bail she was surprised to find the shnail had writ thim letters on the plate, so we marr'd the next Sunday.
"But Owld Moll is a knowledgeable woman an' has a power av shpells an' charms. There's Tim Gallagher, him as dhrives the public câr out o' Galway, he's bought his luck av her be the month, fur nigh on twinty year, barrin' wan month, that he forgot, an' that time he shpilt his load in the ditch an' kilt a horse, bein' too dhrunk to dhrive.
"Whin me dawther Dora, that was named afther her mother, was ill afther she'd been to the dance, whin O'Hoolighan's Peggy was married to Paddy Noonan (she danced too hard in the cabin an' come home in the rain), me owld woman wint to Moll an' found that Dora had been cast wid an avil eye. So she gev her a tay to dhrink an' a charm to wear agin it, an' afther she'd dhrunk the tay an' put on the charm the faver lift her, an' she was well entirely.
AN' PHAT DOES THIM LETTERS SHPELL?
"Sure Moll towld me wan magpie manes sorrow, two manes luck, three manes a weddin', an' four manes death; an' didn't I see four o' thim the day o' the fair in Ennis whin O'Dougherty was laid out? An' whin O'Riley cut his arrum wid a bill-hook, an' the blood was runnin', didn't she tie a shtring on the arrum an' dip a raven's feather into the blood av a black cat's tail, an' shtop the bleedin'? An' didn't she bid me take care o' meself the day I met a red-headed woman afore dinner, an' it wasn't six months till I met the woman in the mornin', it a-rainin' an' ivery dhrop the full o' yer hat, an' me top-coat at home, an' that same night was I tuk wid the roomytics an' didn't shtir a toe fur a fortnight. Faix, she's an owld wan is Moll; phat she can't do isn't worth thryin'. If she goes fur to make a match, all the fathers in Ireland cudn't purvint it, an' it's no use o' their settin' theirselves agin her, fur her head's as long as a summer day an' as hard as a shillalee.
"Did iver ye hear how she got a husband for owld Miss Rooney, the same that married Misther Dooley that kapes the Aygle Inn in Lisdoon Varna, an' tuk him clane away from the Widdy Mulligan an' two more widdys that were comin' down upon him like kites on a young rabbit?
"Well, it's a mighty improvin' shtory, fur it shows that widdys can be baten whin they're afther a husband, that some doesn't belave, but they do say it takes a witch, the divil, an' an owld maid to do it, an' some think that all o' thim isn't aiquel to a widdy, aven if there's three o' thim an' but wan av her.
"The razon av it is this. Widdy wimmin are like lobsthers, whin they wanst ketch holt, begob, they've no consate av lettin' go at all, but will shtick to ye tighter than a toe-nail, till ye've aither to marry thim or murther thim, that's the wan thing in the end; fur if ye marry thim ye're talked to[pg 196] death, an' if ye murther thim ye 're only dacintly hanged out o' the front dure o' the jail. Whin they're afther a husband, they're as busy as owld Nick, an' as much in airnest as a dog in purshoot av a flea. More-be-token, they're always lookin' fur the proper man, an' if they see wan that they think will shuit, bedad, they go afther him as strait as an arrer, an' if he doesn't take the alarum an' run like a shape-thief, the widdy 'ull have him afore the althar an' married fast an' tight while he'd be sayin' a Craydo.
"They know so much be wan axpayrience av marryin', that, barrin' it's a widdy man that's in it, an' he knows as much as thimselves, they'll do for him at wanst, bekase it's well undhershtood that a bach'ler, aither young or owld, has as much show av outshtrappin' a widdy as a mouse agin a weasel.