When does a cook break the game law? When she poaches eggs.
Why is a cigar-loving man like a tallow candle? Because he smokes when he is going out.
What way of showing wrath has a tea kettle? It sings sweetest when it is hottest.
Why do you always make a mistake when you put on your slipper? Because you put your foot in it.
Why is a lucky gambler an agreeable fellow? Because he has such winning ways.
Why is the leading horse in a wagon team like the acceptor of a bill? Because he’s the end horse, sir (endorser).
What money brings the most substantial interest? Matri-mony.
What is a remarkable fact when the Chinese actor loses his head? He is pretty sure to lose his cue at the same time.
Why, when you paint a man’s portrait, may you be described as stepping into his shoes? Because you make his feet-yours (features).
Why is the inside of everything mysterious? Because we cannot make it out.