What key in music will make a good officer? A sharp major.
Why were the Jews of old like bad debts? Because they killed the prophets (profits).
What is political economy? Splitting your vote.
What makes everybody sick but those that swallow it? Flattery.
What jury of twelve tries us for a year? The twelve months; they all try us.
What is that which never flies except when its wings are broken? An army.
What is the difference between a very fascinating young lady and her watch? The watch makes one remember the hours, and the young lady makes one forget them.
Why is an egg like a colt? Because it is not fit for use until it is broken.
Why is a threadbare garment like a man who was up late at the ball? Because both look worn out when they lose their nap.
What bridge creates the most anxiety? A suspension bridge.