Why is a young lady like a promissory note? Because she ought to be settled when she arrives at maturity.
What is that which always goes with its head downward? A nail in your shoe.
Why is a man just put in prison like a boat full of water? Because he wants bailing out.
What sort of a face does an auctioneer like best? One that is for bidding.
Why should a poor salesman be put in the hands of a potter? Because he is very poor clay and should be fired.
Why is an account book like a statuary shop? It is full of figures.
When a young man calls upon his sweetheart what should he carry with him? Affection in his heart, perfection in his manners, and confections in his pockets.
What is that which Adam never saw, never possessed, yet left two to each of his children? Parents.
When may a base-ball nine say its “cake is all dough”? When it does not have a good batter.
Why is it better to lose an arm than a leg? Because when you lose a leg you lose something to boot.